(no subject)
I did join the gym today. That's as good as it will get. I'll have a good body again and thats it. I can't sleep. I don't know what is going on with life anymore. I hate it. I hate the cold. I hate not falling asleep until 4 am. I hate being dumb and not being able to get a decent education. I hate how everyone thinks I have the mind of a 4 year old and that I'm not capable of doing anything. It just all sucks. I'm selfish too. And controlling. Jon will leave me eventually. He's so easy going and laid back, meanwhile I'm an uptight drama queen who wants everything her way. I can't change and I'm not going to try anymore. I want, no, need friends. I've never really had a BEST friend. Someone who I hang out with every day and talk about guys and hair and clothes. It sucks. I have some great friends who have been there for me but I never see them anymore and I miss them. I'm just lonely. Jon fills that significant other void but I need friends. And I miss my Dad. I'd give anything to have him move back here, but I know that will never happen. If you consider me a friend, leave a comment.... I'm not holding my breath though.
<3 Jen
<3 Jen