Fic: Because I Wanted to Be

Jun 09, 2012 19:19

Title: Because I Wanted to Be
Author: country_who
Rating: PG
Word Count: 699
Genre: Introspection
Summary: It doesn't help to think that the someone wants something they don't.
Author's Note: made for onabearskinrug, who posted this prompt.



"I'm not here because I am supposed to be here or because I'm trapped here, but because I'd rather be with you than anywhere else in the world."

-Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever

Four months, two weeks, six days, five hours, thirty-two minutes, and five seconds since they had both been abandoned here. Add another five and a half seconds and you get the time that they both shared their first kiss as their current selves-the defender of the Earth and the Human with a Time Lord mind. They both remembered fondly the way she took him by the lapels, dragged him down to her level and snogged him senseless. He especially couldn’t shake the thought of this being their first proper kiss.

But, after that, they just stopped, ended, quit progressing and quit reaching for each other.

It wasn’t even that they avoided each other, because they didn’t. They saw each other every day for nearly every hour that filled those days. However, there was something between them, unspoken, but there hanging curtain between the two of them, that wouldn’t let either of them reach for the other anymore.

When they stood side-by-side, their arms hung by their sides as if they were tied into place, and their eyes never sparked like fire when they caught the other one’s gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, looking at everything surrounding him but her face.

His words, spoken with a sober tone that she hadn’t heard in such a long time, caught her off guard. He hadn’t seemed to stop talking since they had both settled here, but he was quickly back to his old ways, talking forever but never saying anything.

“What?” She asked, because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, running a hand through his hair and letting it fall to his side again. As he did so, his fingers accidentally brushed the hem of her shirt sleeve. He could get closer, he would get closer. He lifted his hand, his right hand, his fighting hand, and fought gravity all the way until he could settle it on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch when they both felt a warmth that had vacated them both not long ago. “I’m sorry, that things didn’t work out like you wanted.”

“What d’you mean?” Rose asked, looking up at him, and giving him a genuine smile.

“You deserve to be whizzing about around the stars, with him acting like your knight in shining armor,” he said, running his fingers in small circles around her shoulder.

She shook her head. “I don’t want any of that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded his head, suddenly feeling awkward. He let his hand drop to his side, but she took it in hers. She swung it between the two of them, feeling the warmth of his human hand run from his body, up her fingers, and into her heart.

“I thought, that you might want to, you know, leave again, not stay planted in one place with some stupid human,” she said, forcing herself to laugh despite the weight of the words she spoke.

“Never,” he promised her. “Never that. Rose, don’t you think that I’d have put up a fight if I wanted to stay? I mean, arguing with myself, it wouldn’t be hard for him to see my point of view. I stayed because I wanted to. I stayed because I wanted to be with you.”

“Oh, good… erm…” She couldn’t help laughing a bit at her loss for words and he joined in timidly.

“So…” he started, drawing out the word and making contact with her eyes. She had beautiful eyes. “Wanna… I dunno start over.”

Rose shook her head. “No.”

“Oh, I… um…” he stuttered, but she caught him around the middle and held him a few inches from her. So close.

“I don’t want to start over. I want to continue. Think of it like a new chapter, or a sequel. The Doctor as Jonathan Noble and Rose Tyler-”

“Together Because They Want to Be.”

Four months, two weeks, six days, five hours, thirty-four minutes, and five seconds later, they shared their second kiss.

doctor, doctor who, ten2, rose

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