Finding the Silver lining
OK, so Pup didnt call before he left. Im a little hurt, but I know that hes a marine before hes anything else.. what ever he is to me. Im still trying to figure that out. Hes still that little ghost that follows me through the day, but its getting better. Im sort of getting used to this. Although, today I sort of lost it. It really hit me what hes going to be doing and why hes going to California for training. Its a tough pill to swollow. But knowing that he has so many people praying for him and caring about him helps. I just want him to go and get it over with so he can come home, even if its not to me. I care for him way too much for anything to happen. I think that the night time is when I miss him the most, when things settle down and my family goes to bed and it gets quiet and Im just alone and cant sleep. I usually find myself surfing the net or reading a book and thinking about him. I cant help it. When My dad, pup and I were driving to the mall when he was in Pup said, "You cant help who you fall in love with. You just wake up one morning and it hits you in the head... I hope I duck". Of course he got a pop in the head for the last part, but it was 100% true. You cant. And once you start falling, its damn near impossible to stop. Thats my problem. Its done smacked me right in the face and now I cant get my balance again. I dont know where things are going to go right now. All Im worried about is making it one day at a time, and what happens in our futures, happens. Its something I dont have to much control over. God has a plan for me and Ive got to follow it, no matter how much it hurts.
Chad called last night and told me that if I wasnt hooked up with Pup, that hed love to take me out. I told him that right now, I would be more than happy to go out as friends, but that it couldnt go farther than that. He said he was cool with that and that maybe hed take me out to dinner and go to a movie or just chill. I said that was fine. He got excited about partying and I told him that there was one condition to all of this: No drugs, at all. He said that was cool and he would respect it. Im sort of glad, itll give me something to distract myself from my love life. Itll be a nice change of pace. He called again tonight to see what I was up to, but I told him that I had to clean my room (it is an AWFUL mess) and pack for going to Cincinnati tomorrow. He said he might drop by, I hope he has enough common sense to call my cell insead of ringing the door bell, lol. Then again it is chad. Oh well.
So Ive lost one friend, but gained another, attempted to sort out my thoughts and feelings for Pup, gotten to the point where I can deal with it all, became closer to Megan C and my sister has gotten married without a member of my family killing her. Maybe this summer isnt tunring out as bad as I thought. Finding that silver lining can be difficult sometimes, but hey, I found it nonetheless!!!
Chad called last night and told me that if I wasnt hooked up with Pup, that hed love to take me out. I told him that right now, I would be more than happy to go out as friends, but that it couldnt go farther than that. He said he was cool with that and that maybe hed take me out to dinner and go to a movie or just chill. I said that was fine. He got excited about partying and I told him that there was one condition to all of this: No drugs, at all. He said that was cool and he would respect it. Im sort of glad, itll give me something to distract myself from my love life. Itll be a nice change of pace. He called again tonight to see what I was up to, but I told him that I had to clean my room (it is an AWFUL mess) and pack for going to Cincinnati tomorrow. He said he might drop by, I hope he has enough common sense to call my cell insead of ringing the door bell, lol. Then again it is chad. Oh well.
So Ive lost one friend, but gained another, attempted to sort out my thoughts and feelings for Pup, gotten to the point where I can deal with it all, became closer to Megan C and my sister has gotten married without a member of my family killing her. Maybe this summer isnt tunring out as bad as I thought. Finding that silver lining can be difficult sometimes, but hey, I found it nonetheless!!!