Funerals with Happiness
So, my friend from high school, Terry died last week. There was a viewing yesterday, and his funeral is about 8 hours from now. I know I don't view death, dying, funerals and like as most -- I don't know -- seem to think that one should. I'm sad about Terry's dying, deeply hurt, and so sorry for his family, but I've been laughing and smiling. I had fun at school yesterday especially in sculpture. I had a great time reminiscing about Terry with some of my friends. Reminiscing seems like the wrong word, he was with us just days ago. His death has been all too sudden.
What I've really be contemplating about is the reaction of those friends of mine who were even closer to Terry than I was. Some of them looked at others of us with almost resentment and anger at our happiness. One or two did respond with clear anger. In my head, I was like, "We're remembering good times we've had with Terry. How he smiled, made us laugh, the music he made, the art he loved. Singing with him. His quirks. What's the bloody problem?!!!" Death is something that I'm very familiar with. Dying, funerals, repasses, memorials -- that all comes with have a large family and lots of elderly in the family, too. It amazes me that for some of my friends, this is the first death of a person to whom they were very close that they've ever experienced. I share in their pain, but that doesn't mean I'll wallow with them. I refuse. I treat others' deaths as I want mine to be treated. There should be sadness, anger, loss, pain, but alongside that should be a celebration, appreciation, and general goodly-feelingness because hopefully I've touched loads of people in positive ways.
Terry touch me in the same way. He always made me smile. And fuck them, but I'll not be ashamed for doing so whilst remembering him.
What I've really be contemplating about is the reaction of those friends of mine who were even closer to Terry than I was. Some of them looked at others of us with almost resentment and anger at our happiness. One or two did respond with clear anger. In my head, I was like, "We're remembering good times we've had with Terry. How he smiled, made us laugh, the music he made, the art he loved. Singing with him. His quirks. What's the bloody problem?!!!" Death is something that I'm very familiar with. Dying, funerals, repasses, memorials -- that all comes with have a large family and lots of elderly in the family, too. It amazes me that for some of my friends, this is the first death of a person to whom they were very close that they've ever experienced. I share in their pain, but that doesn't mean I'll wallow with them. I refuse. I treat others' deaths as I want mine to be treated. There should be sadness, anger, loss, pain, but alongside that should be a celebration, appreciation, and general goodly-feelingness because hopefully I've touched loads of people in positive ways.
Terry touch me in the same way. He always made me smile. And fuck them, but I'll not be ashamed for doing so whilst remembering him.