before and after hockey. . .
i spent most of the afternoon being disappointed. i think my expectations of most things are way too high. as part of my christmas present from my grandmother, she took me to get my hair cut with her this afternoon. gary cut our hair and he usually does a really good job.. but mine really sucks this time. i wanted to keep it long and for him to take all of the layers out, but he cut more into it.. and i hate it... and Jim is going to hate it : ( oh well.. it'll grow back. he told me that i should go to beauty school and work with him while i'm in college. hah. that could be really fun, but my mom would never go for that. anyway, i've been wanting to go shopping and i still haven't been out. hopefully, i'll get to go tomorrow. shopping really isn't a big deal, but i just really want to go and i'm frustrated that the only place i go out to is work. i'm probably just in a bad mood because of all of the arguing that goes on around here. and my grandmother being really bitchy. she's complaining about business right now. she hasn't invested in anything and she hasn't advertised in two years. what does she expect?? i'm not just talking about insurance either.. there're the funeral homes, too. whatever. i'm tired of hearing about my brother. i don't get why it's so easy for my to just pretend that the people i can't stand don't exist.. and everyone else just dwells on them. i guess he sent my mom a christmas card and it was signed "adam and amanda." he only did that because my mom used to get pissed off when my father would sign cards "your father and debbie" but he doesn't have to send cards anymore since i turned 18 this year. he's been counting down the years until my 18th birthday since my mom divorced him when i was 2. i wish adam would just go away.. and everyone could forget about him.. i obviously have no problem not caring that he's alive. speaking of being alive.. i think my dog is dying. her mother looked and acted the same way before she died.. it could be genetic. she definitely had a stroke, she's afraid of her cage, she falls on the floor whenever she gets up and can't get back up, she shakes when people raise their voices around her, she looks completely disoriented.. and she's about 9 or 12.. i can't remember the year she was born, but she's pretty old, regardless. i seriously want to get rid of my turtle, but i have no idea where to take her. a pet shop? the river? my father's back porch? i have no idea if a pet shop would take a three year old turtle. on top of everything being not so great, but not too bad.. chriatmas is over.. it's almost new year's eve.. and new year's day.. and my boyfriend is in another country and i miss him. i've never been so jealous of everyone in kuwait. i have a headache.. and i'm gonna go lie down.. or scan the few pictures i have of myself from when i was little. fun stuff.