ss501 | jungmin/kyujong
Title: Love Wore Slippers
Fandom: SS501
Pairing: one-sided Kyujong/Jungmin
Rating: G
Word Count: 1498
Summary: To be quietly in love with someone, for years and never say a thing, never do anything, and just accept it, suddenly seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Notes: This is old, written in April 2010 for seoulfully, before they all went their own seperate ways. That is when this fic is set.
It was extremely late when the five of them came tumbling from the studio. With almost all of them half-asleep, they fell into the back of a car, and no one but Kyujong seemed to hear the manager trying to remind them about tomorrows schedule.
He looked around, a little helplessly, at the five half-asleep young men slouching across the car seats and across each other.
"It's okay," Kyujong spoke up, sending his manager a sleepy smile. "I'll remind them in the morning, if they forget." The manager gave him a grateful smile, before allowing himself to sink into his seat, and spend the rest of the journey in a half-doze.
There was a weak kind of pat to Kyujong's shoulder, surprising him, as he thought Jungmin had fallen asleep beside him already.
"That's our Eagle," Jungmin murmured. "Always looking out for us, even when he's tired too."
Kyujong, laughing softly, nudged weakly at Jungmin's shoulder. "Be quiet, and go to sleep. I'll be waking you up in another four hours, so sleep while you can."
"But who'll wake up poor Kyujong?"
Jungmin's head was beginning to nod away with the weight of sleep already, and Kyujong's shoulder was prepared for the inevitable. "Ssh, sleep."
A tired smile was aimed at him, and then the heavy weight of Jungmin's dozing head fell against his shoulder. Sighing quietly, Kyujong couldn't help but smile to himself.
They were all busy again, what with their approaching comeback, but they were all busy together, and that left Kyujong feeling a kind of completeness to himself. It felt good to be all five of them again, working and singing and rehearsing and dancing, doing together what they loved. Kyujong always felt a little asunder, whenever they had to split off for different activities.
But it did make him miss the slightly quieter times, when they could snatch moments for themselves, and just be. Now, it was rare that he could go out for a meal with Youngsaeng, or watch a movie with Hyunjoong, or play games with Hyungjun. And Jungmin. It was the time with him that Kyujong found himself missing the most, no matter what they did, shopping, or grabbing an ice cream together, or attempting to cook a meal together for everyone. Or just laying down and relaxing, talking and laughing together.
He missed it, because now that they were so busy, Kyujong could hardly steal a moment just for himself and Jungmin.
"Hey." There was a sudden, hard, smack to the back of his head, and with a startled cry of pain, Kyujong spun round to find Hyunjoong standing behind him. "We're going to be late for dance rehearsal."
Rubbing the sore spot at the back of his head, Kyujong nodded, "I know, I'm just coming. And did you have to do that so hard?"
Hyunjoong shrugged, careless. "I wasn't sure you'd wake up, if I didn't. You seemed kind of dreamy." A slow grin began to unfold on his face, and Kyujong knew he was being teased.
With a glare, and an all too-weak shove, Kyujong pushed Hyunjoong away. "Alright, I get it. I'm coming."
Hyunjoong was on his way out when he stopped to call back, "And get Jungmin too, will you? He's spending too long on doing his hair." Kyujong could still hear the grin in his voice, but called back an affirmative mumble, before making his way through the apartment, searching for Jungmin.
The bathroom door was open, and Kyujong could see past it to Jungmin, standing in front of the mirror, doing just what Hyunjoong had jokingly predicted.
As always, Kyujong's heart leapt a little inside his chest at the sight. He couldn't control it, and he'd never been able to. It always happened, just as his breath was always a little taken away, whenever Jungmin hugged him, or reached for his hand. Kyujong couldn't stop it. He'd been slow to realise things, only noticing after a long time, once many little instances and clues had built up to provide him with a full and startling picture.
But for as long as Kyujong had been aware of his feelings, he was also aware that it would never work out. Beyond Jungmin's natural flirty behaviour with anything that had a pretty face and walked on two legs, there had never been a hint of anything more than the friendship that they shared. And Kyujong knew he would never go past his quiet yearning for more; as deep as his feelings ran for Jungmin, deeper still ran his loyalty to the five of them, and he couldn't jeopardise what they had all spent so much time working to achieve. It was against his nature, anyway and his love, like himself, was quiet and wore slippers as it walked across his heart.
Yet still, watching Jungmin as he preened at himself vainly in the mirror, patting his hair to perfection even though it would get messed up and sweat-streaked in a matter of minutes during rehearsal, Kyujong couldn't control the dancing of his heart, or the quiet wishes that spun slowly through his mind.
It was then that Jungmin noticed he had company, and turned to look at Kyujong. "Ah, I see that you're observing my beautiful face again. Should I take a picture, so you can hide it under your pillow?"
He was laughing, and Kyujong knew it was a joke, Jungmin's usual fair, and that it didn't mean anything beyond simple teasing, and still he couldn't quite help the colour from spreading across his cheeks.
"Hyunjoong said you were spending too much time on your hair."
Scandalised, Jungmin said, "Just for that, I'm going to shave off his eyebrows, and drop chewing gum in his hair."
Kyujong couldn't quite muffle his laughter. Reaching out, he took hold of Jungmin's arm and pulled him forcefully from the bathroom. "I don't care what you do to him later, as long as we make it to rehearsal on time. Come on."
"You can do one of his eyebrows, if you want," Jungmin offered.
That time, Kyujong really couldn't stop his laughter.
His quiet feelings for Jungmin weren't always an easy thing to accept, though. As laid-back about it as Kyujong had learned to become, sometimes the feelings gnawed away slowly at his heart. It would be easier, so much easier he knew, if he could just stop being in love with one of his best friends. It was a difficult secret to keep, and more difficult still, when all he wanted to do sometimes was just take hold of Jungmin's hand and never let go, or stroke his fingers through that always-perfect hair, or press a sweet kiss to those always smiling lips. And he couldn't. He couldn't do any of that.
Sometimes, the realisation of that struck home, hard, and it hurt, like an old wound re-opened.
These thoughts itched at his mind now, even as they all sat around a large table, enjoying a rare meal out together. It was the five of them and their managers. As usual, Jungmin and Hyungjun were passing insults at one another, with Hyunjoong throwing in the occasional, helpful insult, aimed at anyone, and Youngsaeng was trying to have a conversation with one of their managers. Kyujong was the only one not involving himself.
Looking over at Jungmin, loud, insulting, teasing Jungmin, who was swearing at Hyungjun and threatening to impale their youngest on his chopsticks, Kyujong felt suddenly almost sick with the very thought of it all. When he thought about it, really, deeply, unobjectionally thought about it, the whole thing was beyond stupid, and oddly humiliating. To be quietly in love with someone, for years and never say a thing, never do anything, and just accept it, suddenly seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world. It was never going to work, and he was never going to do anything about it, and nothing would come of it. He'd never get to kiss Jungmin, or feel Jungmin want him like Kyujong wanted him, and he'd never know how it could feel, to be more than just friends.
So why couldn't he just stop this whole thing altogether, and let his heart move on?
Looking up, Kyujong heard his name, and saw that Hyungjun seemed to be withholding Jungmin's rice from him.
"Kyujong, help me!" Came his friend's melodramatic call for help.
Without thinking, Kyujong picked up his own bowl of rice, and passed it along to Jungmin.
He was rewarded with a triumphant smile, and a sulky look from Hyungjun.
"I knew you'd come through for me, Kyujong!"
His heart sputtered inside his chest, and Kyujong couldn't stop it, not even for a moment.
As stupid as it was, he had no control over the direction his feelings drifted, and they would stop whenever they stopped, not before, and certainly not because Kyujong wanted them to.
"You owe me now, Jungmin. I expect something good, in return!"
{I miss them ;~;}
Fandom: SS501
Pairing: one-sided Kyujong/Jungmin
Rating: G
Word Count: 1498
Summary: To be quietly in love with someone, for years and never say a thing, never do anything, and just accept it, suddenly seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Notes: This is old, written in April 2010 for seoulfully, before they all went their own seperate ways. That is when this fic is set.
It was extremely late when the five of them came tumbling from the studio. With almost all of them half-asleep, they fell into the back of a car, and no one but Kyujong seemed to hear the manager trying to remind them about tomorrows schedule.
He looked around, a little helplessly, at the five half-asleep young men slouching across the car seats and across each other.
"It's okay," Kyujong spoke up, sending his manager a sleepy smile. "I'll remind them in the morning, if they forget." The manager gave him a grateful smile, before allowing himself to sink into his seat, and spend the rest of the journey in a half-doze.
There was a weak kind of pat to Kyujong's shoulder, surprising him, as he thought Jungmin had fallen asleep beside him already.
"That's our Eagle," Jungmin murmured. "Always looking out for us, even when he's tired too."
Kyujong, laughing softly, nudged weakly at Jungmin's shoulder. "Be quiet, and go to sleep. I'll be waking you up in another four hours, so sleep while you can."
"But who'll wake up poor Kyujong?"
Jungmin's head was beginning to nod away with the weight of sleep already, and Kyujong's shoulder was prepared for the inevitable. "Ssh, sleep."
A tired smile was aimed at him, and then the heavy weight of Jungmin's dozing head fell against his shoulder. Sighing quietly, Kyujong couldn't help but smile to himself.
They were all busy again, what with their approaching comeback, but they were all busy together, and that left Kyujong feeling a kind of completeness to himself. It felt good to be all five of them again, working and singing and rehearsing and dancing, doing together what they loved. Kyujong always felt a little asunder, whenever they had to split off for different activities.
But it did make him miss the slightly quieter times, when they could snatch moments for themselves, and just be. Now, it was rare that he could go out for a meal with Youngsaeng, or watch a movie with Hyunjoong, or play games with Hyungjun. And Jungmin. It was the time with him that Kyujong found himself missing the most, no matter what they did, shopping, or grabbing an ice cream together, or attempting to cook a meal together for everyone. Or just laying down and relaxing, talking and laughing together.
He missed it, because now that they were so busy, Kyujong could hardly steal a moment just for himself and Jungmin.
"Hey." There was a sudden, hard, smack to the back of his head, and with a startled cry of pain, Kyujong spun round to find Hyunjoong standing behind him. "We're going to be late for dance rehearsal."
Rubbing the sore spot at the back of his head, Kyujong nodded, "I know, I'm just coming. And did you have to do that so hard?"
Hyunjoong shrugged, careless. "I wasn't sure you'd wake up, if I didn't. You seemed kind of dreamy." A slow grin began to unfold on his face, and Kyujong knew he was being teased.
With a glare, and an all too-weak shove, Kyujong pushed Hyunjoong away. "Alright, I get it. I'm coming."
Hyunjoong was on his way out when he stopped to call back, "And get Jungmin too, will you? He's spending too long on doing his hair." Kyujong could still hear the grin in his voice, but called back an affirmative mumble, before making his way through the apartment, searching for Jungmin.
The bathroom door was open, and Kyujong could see past it to Jungmin, standing in front of the mirror, doing just what Hyunjoong had jokingly predicted.
As always, Kyujong's heart leapt a little inside his chest at the sight. He couldn't control it, and he'd never been able to. It always happened, just as his breath was always a little taken away, whenever Jungmin hugged him, or reached for his hand. Kyujong couldn't stop it. He'd been slow to realise things, only noticing after a long time, once many little instances and clues had built up to provide him with a full and startling picture.
But for as long as Kyujong had been aware of his feelings, he was also aware that it would never work out. Beyond Jungmin's natural flirty behaviour with anything that had a pretty face and walked on two legs, there had never been a hint of anything more than the friendship that they shared. And Kyujong knew he would never go past his quiet yearning for more; as deep as his feelings ran for Jungmin, deeper still ran his loyalty to the five of them, and he couldn't jeopardise what they had all spent so much time working to achieve. It was against his nature, anyway and his love, like himself, was quiet and wore slippers as it walked across his heart.
Yet still, watching Jungmin as he preened at himself vainly in the mirror, patting his hair to perfection even though it would get messed up and sweat-streaked in a matter of minutes during rehearsal, Kyujong couldn't control the dancing of his heart, or the quiet wishes that spun slowly through his mind.
It was then that Jungmin noticed he had company, and turned to look at Kyujong. "Ah, I see that you're observing my beautiful face again. Should I take a picture, so you can hide it under your pillow?"
He was laughing, and Kyujong knew it was a joke, Jungmin's usual fair, and that it didn't mean anything beyond simple teasing, and still he couldn't quite help the colour from spreading across his cheeks.
"Hyunjoong said you were spending too much time on your hair."
Scandalised, Jungmin said, "Just for that, I'm going to shave off his eyebrows, and drop chewing gum in his hair."
Kyujong couldn't quite muffle his laughter. Reaching out, he took hold of Jungmin's arm and pulled him forcefully from the bathroom. "I don't care what you do to him later, as long as we make it to rehearsal on time. Come on."
"You can do one of his eyebrows, if you want," Jungmin offered.
That time, Kyujong really couldn't stop his laughter.
His quiet feelings for Jungmin weren't always an easy thing to accept, though. As laid-back about it as Kyujong had learned to become, sometimes the feelings gnawed away slowly at his heart. It would be easier, so much easier he knew, if he could just stop being in love with one of his best friends. It was a difficult secret to keep, and more difficult still, when all he wanted to do sometimes was just take hold of Jungmin's hand and never let go, or stroke his fingers through that always-perfect hair, or press a sweet kiss to those always smiling lips. And he couldn't. He couldn't do any of that.
Sometimes, the realisation of that struck home, hard, and it hurt, like an old wound re-opened.
These thoughts itched at his mind now, even as they all sat around a large table, enjoying a rare meal out together. It was the five of them and their managers. As usual, Jungmin and Hyungjun were passing insults at one another, with Hyunjoong throwing in the occasional, helpful insult, aimed at anyone, and Youngsaeng was trying to have a conversation with one of their managers. Kyujong was the only one not involving himself.
Looking over at Jungmin, loud, insulting, teasing Jungmin, who was swearing at Hyungjun and threatening to impale their youngest on his chopsticks, Kyujong felt suddenly almost sick with the very thought of it all. When he thought about it, really, deeply, unobjectionally thought about it, the whole thing was beyond stupid, and oddly humiliating. To be quietly in love with someone, for years and never say a thing, never do anything, and just accept it, suddenly seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world. It was never going to work, and he was never going to do anything about it, and nothing would come of it. He'd never get to kiss Jungmin, or feel Jungmin want him like Kyujong wanted him, and he'd never know how it could feel, to be more than just friends.
So why couldn't he just stop this whole thing altogether, and let his heart move on?
Looking up, Kyujong heard his name, and saw that Hyungjun seemed to be withholding Jungmin's rice from him.
"Kyujong, help me!" Came his friend's melodramatic call for help.
Without thinking, Kyujong picked up his own bowl of rice, and passed it along to Jungmin.
He was rewarded with a triumphant smile, and a sulky look from Hyungjun.
"I knew you'd come through for me, Kyujong!"
His heart sputtered inside his chest, and Kyujong couldn't stop it, not even for a moment.
As stupid as it was, he had no control over the direction his feelings drifted, and they would stop whenever they stopped, not before, and certainly not because Kyujong wanted them to.
"You owe me now, Jungmin. I expect something good, in return!"
{I miss them ;~;}