Hoard's Dairyman
Big show tonight in the East Bay: The Corner Laughers are opening for The Moore Brothers, and we all know there's nothing better than harmonizing brother acts. (Note: Moore Brothers are not shown in that particular video, that's just an example. I'm sure you know how to find videos of The Moore Brothers if you're so inclined.) Sadly, we rarely get to play in the East Bay, despite the superior restaurants and moderately priced real estate. We'll be debuting a few new songs that have never been played live anywhere, so if by chance you were one of the 5 people in the audience at the last gig you should come to this one too because it will be totally different.
Speaking of wonder drinks, you know how I'll buy just about any beverage that has a "claim" on the bottle? Like "contains oxyribinomysomes for increased blood flow to the duodenum" or "10% of profits go to plant lemon trees on the moon"? I think I've found the ultimate claimy drink: Bradford Tonic. Here's what it says on the bottle:
On 6/2/02 Brad Beckerman was pronounced "dead at the scene" of an accident. After resuscitation and emergency brain surgery with six titanium plates, he remained in a coma for 13 days. Over the next 3.5 years he underwent four more surgeries and many years of strenuous cognitive and physical therapies. While adhering to a strict vegan diet as part of the healing process, he sought alternative treatments. His journey took him to Asia. While in India, he was treated by the world famous Dr. Issac Mathai at his ayurvedic center called Soukya. While there he had a drink of West Indian Sea Moss made by a Jamaican chef. The drink gave him strength, stamina and energy. With his general understanding of West Indian drinks, he added his own special formula of herbs, roots and spices that utilized the best of Eastern and Western Indian ingredients to make what is now known as Bradford Tonic (B-Tonic). The B-Tonic was the most helpful remedy for his miracle recovery.
As far as I know, this is the first drink to be marketed as being able to bring people back from the dead. Strangely enough, it is not actually a liquid. I bought a bottle and tried to drink it and what came out was sort of a gravy-ish lumpy jelly. It's still in my fridge, unfinished after 2 weeks. The taste is not that bad but it's kind of hard to swallow without freaking out.
Speaking of wonder drinks, you know how I'll buy just about any beverage that has a "claim" on the bottle? Like "contains oxyribinomysomes for increased blood flow to the duodenum" or "10% of profits go to plant lemon trees on the moon"? I think I've found the ultimate claimy drink: Bradford Tonic. Here's what it says on the bottle:
On 6/2/02 Brad Beckerman was pronounced "dead at the scene" of an accident. After resuscitation and emergency brain surgery with six titanium plates, he remained in a coma for 13 days. Over the next 3.5 years he underwent four more surgeries and many years of strenuous cognitive and physical therapies. While adhering to a strict vegan diet as part of the healing process, he sought alternative treatments. His journey took him to Asia. While in India, he was treated by the world famous Dr. Issac Mathai at his ayurvedic center called Soukya. While there he had a drink of West Indian Sea Moss made by a Jamaican chef. The drink gave him strength, stamina and energy. With his general understanding of West Indian drinks, he added his own special formula of herbs, roots and spices that utilized the best of Eastern and Western Indian ingredients to make what is now known as Bradford Tonic (B-Tonic). The B-Tonic was the most helpful remedy for his miracle recovery.
As far as I know, this is the first drink to be marketed as being able to bring people back from the dead. Strangely enough, it is not actually a liquid. I bought a bottle and tried to drink it and what came out was sort of a gravy-ish lumpy jelly. It's still in my fridge, unfinished after 2 weeks. The taste is not that bad but it's kind of hard to swallow without freaking out.