The drunkenest labourers in Asia
Thank you to weaselwoman13 for bringing these incredibly insipid lists to my attention. I was so offended that I decided to make my own "10 Things Every Single Man Must Own" list, even though I'm not a single man.
1. A top notch bike and/or clothes drying rack. Because you don't really want to give your money to the oil companies so they can kill more foreign people and polar bears do you? Well, do you? (Disclosure: I also have a car and an electric dryer, but you don't want to be a big hypocrite like me do you? Well, do you?) Bike - $300, Drying rack - Free, if someone gives it to you as a present.
2. Library Cards. I have 3, and they do a good job of keeping my other cards (such as my ATM and credit cards) from getting more use than they need. Free.
3. The 3 CD deluxe edition of Village Green Preservation Society. Use the $25 that you saved by checking out 5 DVDs from the library instead of renting them and get this reissue from last summer.
4. A Blue Snaggletooth. The ladies will be lining up at your door when you tell them that this was only available by mail order from Sears as part of the Cantina set and was not sold individually in stores. $85 at nerdy comic book stores, if you can find it.
5. Kombucha Wonder Drink! Builds healthy bodies 13 ways, 7 of which we can't even mention here. (I saw that joke in a Mad Magazine from 1979.) $2 at Bumble Bee Health Foods.
6. An 80s Ghetto Blaster. With the recent trends of bad 80s clothing and music coming back into style, can a cassette tape revival be far behind? Be on the forefront of technology with this Lasonic double cassette, hi-speed dubbing model from 1988. $10 at Goodwill Stores everywhere.
OK, enough with the marketing hype, here's what I really use it for.
7. A Sherlock Holmes Hat. Perfect for solving crimes and making LeStrade look like an ass. Approx. $7 on Ebay.
8. David Attenborough DVDs. The best TV programmes ever made, and a great antidote to the recent influx of "intelligent design" morons. $50 for each set, or free at the library.
9. A Field Guide To The Birds Of Britain And Europe. Because they have different birds there. Not better, not worse, just different. $9 at your local used book store.
10. A Banjo Uke, a chinchilla, and a California Condor. Oh, they go together alright. Don't ask how, just accept it.
1. A top notch bike and/or clothes drying rack. Because you don't really want to give your money to the oil companies so they can kill more foreign people and polar bears do you? Well, do you? (Disclosure: I also have a car and an electric dryer, but you don't want to be a big hypocrite like me do you? Well, do you?) Bike - $300, Drying rack - Free, if someone gives it to you as a present.
2. Library Cards. I have 3, and they do a good job of keeping my other cards (such as my ATM and credit cards) from getting more use than they need. Free.
3. The 3 CD deluxe edition of Village Green Preservation Society. Use the $25 that you saved by checking out 5 DVDs from the library instead of renting them and get this reissue from last summer.
4. A Blue Snaggletooth. The ladies will be lining up at your door when you tell them that this was only available by mail order from Sears as part of the Cantina set and was not sold individually in stores. $85 at nerdy comic book stores, if you can find it.
5. Kombucha Wonder Drink! Builds healthy bodies 13 ways, 7 of which we can't even mention here. (I saw that joke in a Mad Magazine from 1979.) $2 at Bumble Bee Health Foods.
6. An 80s Ghetto Blaster. With the recent trends of bad 80s clothing and music coming back into style, can a cassette tape revival be far behind? Be on the forefront of technology with this Lasonic double cassette, hi-speed dubbing model from 1988. $10 at Goodwill Stores everywhere.
OK, enough with the marketing hype, here's what I really use it for.
7. A Sherlock Holmes Hat. Perfect for solving crimes and making LeStrade look like an ass. Approx. $7 on Ebay.
8. David Attenborough DVDs. The best TV programmes ever made, and a great antidote to the recent influx of "intelligent design" morons. $50 for each set, or free at the library.
9. A Field Guide To The Birds Of Britain And Europe. Because they have different birds there. Not better, not worse, just different. $9 at your local used book store.
10. A Banjo Uke, a chinchilla, and a California Condor. Oh, they go together alright. Don't ask how, just accept it.
