Comments | countblastula: Animals On Muni

countblastula

Animals On Muni

Mar 24, 2005 09:50

Ever since becoming old and crotchety, my greatest joy at concerts has been noticing "rock faux pas" such as people wearing a t-shirt with the name of the band that is playing, shouting out for the hit song two songs into the set, etc. I'm thinking of becoming a rock faux pas police cop. My sidekick would be a parrot whom I would call "Frenchie, ( Read more... )

rock faux pas, decemberists, frenchies

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polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 19:38:32 UTC

Will you ask your parrot to yell at stupid teenage girls who start moshing during the last song or any song during a show where people do not dance, let alone bump into each other annoyingly? I almost punched a girl last night. Ok, not really, but if I was a parrot I would have pecked her eyes out.

countblastula March 24 2005, 19:41:29 UTC

The parrot does not get involved in teenage girl disputes.

polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 19:48:33 UTC

but it is such a faux pas to dance at toe tapping shows!!!

countblastula March 24 2005, 19:51:25 UTC

OH! sorry, the parrot did not realize that. Yes, he will take your case provided you can pay his fee. He requires a banerry, some nuts, loobanail, blail, a spoon and a set of car keys.

polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 19:56:53 UTC

please provide illustrated explanations of banerry, loobanail and blail.

the parrot can have whatever he wants.

the teenage runts should be grateful for 18+ shows and quietly remain in the back of the club!

countblastula March 24 2005, 19:59:02 UTC

>please provide illustrated explanations of banerry, loobanail and blail.

Dear me, I'm afraid the parrot's English is quite dreadful. I think what he is asking for is an apple and some nails. What he uses them for I have no idea.

polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 20:02:09 UTC

>What he uses them for I have no idea.

Would you care to venture a guess?

countblastula March 24 2005, 20:06:43 UTC

Well, possibly he pounds the nail into the apple and gives it to the unsuspecting teenage girl and she is suppposed to eat it and die from a nail wound to the brain. I'm not sure he's quite that crafty and evil though.

polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 20:15:45 UTC

>I'm not sure he's quite that crafty and evil though.

Isn't that necessary to complete the tasks of the job?

polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 20:15:46 UTC

>I'm not sure he's quite that crafty and evil though.

Isn't that necessary to complete the tasks of the job?

countblastula March 24 2005, 20:22:52 UTC

No, the parrot's job is to shame people, not to physically hurt them.

polyphonicvegan March 24 2005, 20:34:48 UTC

right, but shaming people requires a certain about evil and craftiness.

countblastula March 24 2005, 20:35:31 UTC

No, basically he just sits on their shoulder and yells at them.

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