Hector?
You want potion? I have potion! You talk to Hector? Ehhhhhhhffff Hector! Curse him for all of time! He try to sell potion that is WORST POTION! Too much money!: Forget, forget. Hector. I spit on his eye. I curse his children to never laugh. You want potion you come to right man. I am Achmed Owlcat. Call me Crazy Owlcat! Crazy because I sell BEST potions at LOWEST price. Ehhhhhhfffff Potion I have for everything. Contain power of many herbs and enchantments in small glass vial or bottle. Has cork. You like potion? You drink potion! My potion is from most powerful and ancientest majicks in all of Arabia. Majicks of old different way of saying "science". Healing power of potion is not disputed. Pope of Catholics drink my potion live 99 years. Only die when stop taking potion. What you say to that? Madam I sense your hesitate. Very understandable. Very rational. Potion not common thing to see, especially not potion this good. What if I tell you potion make you lose weight get back perfect shape for summer? Potion make you lose weight get back perfect shape for summer. You have face affliction? Curse of blood? Potion help. Unclean spirit express self in face, makes painful boil or sometime woman has bleeding from demons inside. Potion clear right up. I have best cyclops whisker in all of Arabia. Not all potion! Specific potion do this. Elixir of Trackless Erg. Recipe is tears of falcon see terrible tragedy, moss from rock used to smash window, few hairs from head of woman o' the night AKA VAMPYROS and pinch dust taken from inside wall of semi-haunted house. Plus secret ingredient. Ghost of babyhead haunt house. Scornful beast. Beat with shoe, but very useful to transport piano. Creature you American call "retardos". Ehhhhhhfffff Good country, good country! Canadian's bacon, syrups, go hockey! Eh! Like very much Canada. A lot of Canada people love my potion. Celine Dions gain stunning beauty from potion. Kid in Hall all drink potion for big laughs. Character "chicken woman" all from potion. You buy potion? Maybe you want have perfect apple head baby? Very good baby from potion. Drink before copulations and handsome stallion of Canada seed is plant! Drink birthing potion when labors begin and with mighty screech baby swoops out easy! Very good bargains! Buy both one amazing price. Ehhhhhhfffff Potion of Educations very good for you! Juice from brain of 500 smartest mice, powder of crystal taken from lair of mountain octopus, mint to taste and secret ingredient. You know Steve Hawking? He drank just one half potion and it make him that smart, but potion cursed by filthy devil Jazzy the Gypsy and make him cripple. You cannot see it now but I am vomiting into hat at sight of name. Worst potioneer in history. Worse than Barabus the Mad. Jazzy has hate for all other potioneers because he bad with potion, but very good with curse. Terrible at free throw also. Not even get to "o" in game of horse. Do you have man to make husband with? Very handsome man with blue eye and golden hair and skins like a basketball? Man maybe name is Chet or Vance? Good Canadian man, very strong and fertile? Madam what if I tell you, I have potion sit on shelf RIGHT NOW that if you drink would make any man hypnotize into love for you? Love Potion Number 23, much more advance than traditional 9 rating love potion. What is more I have price slash on sale RIGHT NOW for only 950 klubals. 950 klubals exactly 4.75 Canada dollars, plus ship and handle which is extra 300 klubals bring total to 8.50 Canada dollars. Yes! Yes, very much. Same principle behind potion as behind crystal. It is energy. Energy is in crystal just like energy is in any ingredient of potion. Now think about Love Potion madam, I have good price. I make better or my name is Crazy Achmed! Price now 800 klubals!: Ehfffffff!!! Madam, I am wound. I have terrible wound. I am bleeding all over and my heart is broken into two. You think me less than dirt bird uses to take bath. Less than tiny pants worn by flea. Less even than speck of garbage a molecule leaves in air when it goes to bathroom! PTHH! I spit. I spit, madam.