Killing Loneliness with You
I wonder if it is truly unreasonable to expect that your significant other would spend time with you, not just sit an play video games and drink beer. I also wonder if I'm just spoiled and have gotten false hope from listening to music. I was listening to some H.I.M albums and the lyrics truly do break my heart. How can one person feel that way about another? Honestly, for any given period in time your in love it only lasts up to a year. Then what? Intimacy, love, lust, wanting, thoughts, selflessness, safety... We live together yet all of these elude me. I don't tell him what I'm thinking, what I want, how I feel. I guard my thoughts and actions. I try to talk to him and he snaps at me or is busy caught up being angry, drunk, or playing video games. I can't stand it. I've thought about just leaving and going somewhere new for awhile now. California or New Jersey most likely. Not just because of this but because my job is going under, I need to go back to school, and I need new faces and new places. I am going on a cruise in September and all he could say is that he can't afford the money or the time. Money, time, money, time, money, time... WHO THE FUCK CARES!? In the long run what the hell does that matter!? I place much more stock in my family and friends and the amazing memories and what we have accomplished. 1 minute or a thousand years - I'd trade it all for those I care about. Can I not ask the same?