(no subject)
So it's 50's day here at school, and I feel extremely wierd being one of the only ones who actually dressed up. But my mom did let me wear my grandmothers old jewelery, so at least that is a plus. Gah my teeth hurt like hell! I had to get chains put across my front teeth, and does it hurt. The cougarettes have abilene high pep rally tryouts tomorrow, when we know that none of the new girls will make it, which pisses me off. Why are we even bothering to tryout if we know we won't make it?? Sometimes dance is wayy to political for me. I mean I know I havent been a Cougarette for very long, but Ive been dancing longer than anyone else on the team. Cmon, does 11 years of driving up and down the street, rehersals until 1 and 2 am, and paying BUTTLOADS of money not count for anything??? Guess not... My costume for halloween is almost done, and I love it. Im going as a Pirate, like the female version of Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean). My mom is making it. I just realised the other day that my poetry book is now almost full, which shocks me. I never thought I would like writing as much as I do now. Its not really anything special, just thoughts that come to me that I write down, but its fun to look back from the months before and see what I was thinking then. I guess since I dont get alot of alone time, or time just to think (unless you consider geography class my 'thinking' time), its easier to write. Now everyone wants to read it, but I dont want them to. Its too personal. Last night I was having a major downer session. Lateley I just have no confidence in myself anymore.Jacob Payton talked me through it last night, and it was nice to have someone finally care enough to stay up late to make sure I was ok. We go to El Paso tomorrow, which should be fun. I just hope that everyone is in a good mood. Im glad we dont have to go to the game, because if we did we wouldnt get to rest very much. I kinda wish we could be there though, so that we could cheer on the team. Well Im gonna go now, so Ill write some more tonight.
-Jessica
-Jessica