Stuck between a rock and a hard place
These past few days have been really challenging for me. I've realized that there are a lot of things that have kind of frustrated me, and I just can't get over one of them, although I should.
Some people will make mock me for bringing this up, while others will commend me for being brutally honest. Take it or leave it, because quite frankly I don't give a damn. All I'm doing is venting, and it's good to vent when nothing else is good enough.
I've noticed in the past two weeks that there is something that the majority of the people here have a lot of--something that I have very little of. And it's killing me. I don't know whether it's because I'm jealous, or because I'm a dick.
So many people here are full of money wealth here that I don't know what to do. I feel so insecure because money is something I've never had. And hell, I probably never will either.
I'm not here because my parents could afford to write a check for $20,000.
I'm not here because my family is wealthy and can afford to take out loans for how much ever money is necessary to go to a $41,000 college.
I'm here because I have the complete opposite. I'm here because I DON'T have parents. I'm here because the State of Idaho is helping me pay for my college career. I'm here because I am an alumni of foster care. That's why I'm here.
And I don't know why it bothers me so fucking much when people talk about money. It doesn't really bother me that they have it, it just bothers me that (in my eyes when they talk about it) that they don't appreciate it. That they take advantage of it.
Maybe it was the way they were brought up maybe? Maybe they've never had to live on welfare, or be moved from foster home to foster home hoping that they'll find a family that is worth staying around for? Maybe their parents never taught them that in all honesty, money is a delicacy to the majority of the world. Whatever it is, it seems like they just don't get it.
I guess I should be proud. . . Proud that I don't have what they have (or vice versa, depending on how you look at it I guess). Proud that I'm at the exact same place as them because of the hard work it took to get here. I don't know.
And I'm not saying that people don't deserve to be here. I'm not saying that they don't deserve to have money and/or power. I'm just saying that they should be more conscious about what they are doing with it.
Wow, I think I just opened up a bombshell. Whatever. I just feel so frustrated, and telling this to people just isn't enough, so I chose to vent via facebook and livejournal. Take it or leave it. It makes no difference to me.
Any thoughts?
Some people will make mock me for bringing this up, while others will commend me for being brutally honest. Take it or leave it, because quite frankly I don't give a damn. All I'm doing is venting, and it's good to vent when nothing else is good enough.
I've noticed in the past two weeks that there is something that the majority of the people here have a lot of--something that I have very little of. And it's killing me. I don't know whether it's because I'm jealous, or because I'm a dick.
So many people here are full of money wealth here that I don't know what to do. I feel so insecure because money is something I've never had. And hell, I probably never will either.
I'm not here because my parents could afford to write a check for $20,000.
I'm not here because my family is wealthy and can afford to take out loans for how much ever money is necessary to go to a $41,000 college.
I'm here because I have the complete opposite. I'm here because I DON'T have parents. I'm here because the State of Idaho is helping me pay for my college career. I'm here because I am an alumni of foster care. That's why I'm here.
And I don't know why it bothers me so fucking much when people talk about money. It doesn't really bother me that they have it, it just bothers me that (in my eyes when they talk about it) that they don't appreciate it. That they take advantage of it.
Maybe it was the way they were brought up maybe? Maybe they've never had to live on welfare, or be moved from foster home to foster home hoping that they'll find a family that is worth staying around for? Maybe their parents never taught them that in all honesty, money is a delicacy to the majority of the world. Whatever it is, it seems like they just don't get it.
I guess I should be proud. . . Proud that I don't have what they have (or vice versa, depending on how you look at it I guess). Proud that I'm at the exact same place as them because of the hard work it took to get here. I don't know.
And I'm not saying that people don't deserve to be here. I'm not saying that they don't deserve to have money and/or power. I'm just saying that they should be more conscious about what they are doing with it.
Wow, I think I just opened up a bombshell. Whatever. I just feel so frustrated, and telling this to people just isn't enough, so I chose to vent via facebook and livejournal. Take it or leave it. It makes no difference to me.
Any thoughts?