(no subject)
Every time something goes wrong in my life, especially with the people in it, I always try and figure out what I did wrong or what I should have done different to make it work out the way I wanted it to.
I've come to realize very recently that doing this is stupid. Especially now that I have realized that usually I'm not the one fucking things up. I always tear myself down thinking that in some way I'm not good enough. But I've realized that it's the people in this fucked up town. Seriously. I treat my friendships with people the same and all of the ones with people here end up with drama and stupid shit. The people I'm friends with from other places are different. Normal.
Maybe it's something in the water. Or maybe just the way people raise kids around here. Who the fuck knows, but people are RIDICULOUS around here. They seem to think everything has to always be about them. Nothing could possibly be about anyone other than them. Their problems are always more important than other people's. It's like this weird, fucked up bubble.
Well recently I've been talking with my parents, ladies I work with, and my friend Steve and I think that I'm going to move possibly next summer depending on the money situation and then go to Towson University. There's this amazing school that I would love to get a job with, but it's one of those place where I would definitely need a Bachelor's to even be considered. I already have a part-time job lined up for until I finish school, I know people, and it's not here (which is the best selling point right now. Of course there are things that make me second guess all this, but I think in the end the good outweighs the bad.
This town is just trying to get the best of me and I'm tired of fighting it.
I've come to realize very recently that doing this is stupid. Especially now that I have realized that usually I'm not the one fucking things up. I always tear myself down thinking that in some way I'm not good enough. But I've realized that it's the people in this fucked up town. Seriously. I treat my friendships with people the same and all of the ones with people here end up with drama and stupid shit. The people I'm friends with from other places are different. Normal.
Maybe it's something in the water. Or maybe just the way people raise kids around here. Who the fuck knows, but people are RIDICULOUS around here. They seem to think everything has to always be about them. Nothing could possibly be about anyone other than them. Their problems are always more important than other people's. It's like this weird, fucked up bubble.
Well recently I've been talking with my parents, ladies I work with, and my friend Steve and I think that I'm going to move possibly next summer depending on the money situation and then go to Towson University. There's this amazing school that I would love to get a job with, but it's one of those place where I would definitely need a Bachelor's to even be considered. I already have a part-time job lined up for until I finish school, I know people, and it's not here (which is the best selling point right now. Of course there are things that make me second guess all this, but I think in the end the good outweighs the bad.
This town is just trying to get the best of me and I'm tired of fighting it.