(no subject)
And here we are again...should be going to sleep, to bed, to rest. But am up, and not wanting to go try and lie down---for what? Why? What is it that I think I will find, that I keep wanting, that missing thing, that i fear i will miss finding if I go sleep?
And so I stay up, pushing pushing pushing once again, even though I keep swearing that I won't, that I will stop it. I tell myeslf I am going moment by moment and doing what feels right--staying up feels right, but the feeling of seeking, the feeling of not knowing what I am doing here, keeps persisting.
And so I stay up, pushing pushing pushing once again, even though I keep swearing that I won't, that I will stop it. I tell myeslf I am going moment by moment and doing what feels right--staying up feels right, but the feeling of seeking, the feeling of not knowing what I am doing here, keeps persisting.