(no subject)
cross posted.
Breakfast:
banana
coffee
Lunch:
pb & banana sandwich
1/2 cup orange juice
F*ck me. The rest of the day did not go well, foodwise. The afternoon/early evening was purgey........
.....and then I went out for supper with friends, and panicked under the combination people-and-food pressure, so I had only a side salad and water. I want to cry.
More throwing up when i got home.
F*ck me some more. I ought to be shot. Pathetic.
My head is full of thoughts of losing and not fighting this fucker off anymore.
I know I'm tired from the weekend of badness.
Frustrated with and scared of myself, and of this disorder's grip.
It's late, and I haven't got any fight in me right now----but some sleep should replenish the inner bulldog, right?
Mantra for the night:
Sleep is my job for the rest of tonight.
Tomorrow is a new chance to start the fight again.
Tomorrow I will wake up with new resolve.
(right?)
--------------------
Breakfast:
banana
coffee
Lunch:
pb & banana sandwich
1/2 cup orange juice
F*ck me. The rest of the day did not go well, foodwise. The afternoon/early evening was purgey........
.....and then I went out for supper with friends, and panicked under the combination people-and-food pressure, so I had only a side salad and water. I want to cry.
More throwing up when i got home.
F*ck me some more. I ought to be shot. Pathetic.
My head is full of thoughts of losing and not fighting this fucker off anymore.
I know I'm tired from the weekend of badness.
Frustrated with and scared of myself, and of this disorder's grip.
It's late, and I haven't got any fight in me right now----but some sleep should replenish the inner bulldog, right?
Mantra for the night:
Sleep is my job for the rest of tonight.
Tomorrow is a new chance to start the fight again.
Tomorrow I will wake up with new resolve.
(right?)
--------------------