Torchwood: WIPs

[cot_tossed]

Following the lead of my colleague who reviewed the New Who Novels category, I decided to read the first three parts of each WIP and then give my opinions. Anyone who has read more of any of the stories should feel free to comment on them, of course.

Stuck on the Slow Path by sarkywoman

Comments

[doyle_sb4]

I'm reading What Never Should Be and while I think the idea's a fascinating one I've got to agree with the author on the OOCness. I made it to chapter 10 before abused!infantilised!Jack finally squicked me beyond the point of continuing (I might have backbuttoned some chapters before at 'cariad' if it hadn't got such a positive review on here). It badly needs Britpicked, too; there are some really basic errors like "math" and "pants".

[cot_tossed]

Well, I cut the author a lot of slack on the Jack characterization because of the 100+ years of abuse. It's harder to defend the other points you bring up.

IMO, this category is pretty weak, what with all of the poor punctuation, mid-series stories, Gwen bashing, unengaging plots, and questionable characterization. I'm trying to decide whether to vote for a flawed story that had some strengths and held my attention, a technically proficient story that didn't "connect" with me, or possibly nothing.

[doyle_sb4]

Oh, Jack's characterisation I could go with, although as I say it squicked me to have him basically be an infant - it's Ianto being so compassionate that he'd immediately risk his memories and possibly his life in standing up for a chained-up 'freak' he'd never seen before. It relies on an instant connection between them that didn't work for me. I know Ianto's something of a blank slate in canon - and a Ianto who hasn't yet gone through the battle of Canary Wharf might justifiably be a lot different than the guy who makes stupid jokes while they get ready to torture Beth - but as the commenter below said, it's selfess heroism with no shades of grey. A Ianto who was a little bit less saint-like in this would be interesting.

It's also possible this just didn't click with me at all because I'm reading a romance novel called Flowers From the Storm with exactly this plot, with added Quakers (heroine comes to work at an asylum, is horrified at the conditions the hero is being kept in and effects a rescue...)

[fairyd123]

I would entirely agree that Ianto immediately risking both his job and as it becomes clear pretty much straight away his life to improve Jack's conditions when he knows nothing about him was a bit of a stretch. It needed a few chapters worth of build up to get Ianto to that emotional state but I can understand the author just wanting to get on with the story.

[doyle_sb4]

I can understand the author just wanting to get on with the story.

Yeah, I suppose that's especially the case with it being posted as a WIP (which I completely failed to notice until I skipped to the last chapter, despite it being noted in both this category's title and the first paragraph of the post: ten points for observation, brain) - if you want to build a readership you probably don't have time for a couple of chapters of the main character being only ambiguously good or letting a character the readers are invested in suffer. The OC - Gage? - seems to have a more realistic response to Jack, where he feels sorry for him and guilty about his own involvement, but does nothing to actually help him because it'd be risking his own neck. I liked that character, actually.