Torchwood: PWP
Lust, Spite and Malice by Lionessvalenti
I'm not sure I buy the idea of Ianto as a dom, much less one who'd pistol-whip Captain John Hart essentially as foreplay. But if you can deal with that, this is reasonably good Ianto/John, and Lionessvalenti does an excellent job with John's voice. The porn is more minimalist than I prefer, but I'd rather see minimalist and direct than read about someone's throbbing shaft. Readers into M/M dom/sub scenarios will probably like this one.
Proof by Ladygray99
"Sir" should not be capitalized unless it's beginning a sentence or preceding a knight's name. There are loads of missing commas, and not just in discretionary locations. The story is riddled with typos. And that's before you even get to the plot, which involves Jack deciding that poor, sexually repressed Ianto, abused as a child for having impure thoughts, just needs a little of the ol' healing cock to feel better about himself. The sex, when you actually get to it, isn't bad, but the story mechanics and plot made it so hard to reach that point that it wasn't worth it.
Just Desserts by Ophymirage
This story consists of nothing but completely untagged dialogue without quotation marks. There's no exposition, and very few cues about who's speaking at any given time. It's a style that can work well in short bursts, but over the course of three chapters, it's just about unreadable. Because of this style, you end up with lines in the sex scene like "Oh! OH! GOD! JACK! GOOD! ahh... hhhaaaaahhhhh... godddddd... ." I felt as if I were spying on someone's RP IM cybersex, which is fine if you're into that sort of thing, but useless if you want something that reads like a cohesive narrative.
More by Unfeathered
Very few quibbles with this one - it's a pretty hot mild dom/sub scene in which Jack shows Ianto just what sex with Nine was like. I liked the imagery of a very dominant Nine telling Jack to strip, and loved the way a bowl of ice water and a glass dildo came into play. Definitely recommended for fans of kink and Jack/Ianto.
Homecoming by Teachwriteslash
(Important note: the link CoT provides for this story points to teachwriteslash's LJ. The link above points to the right place. All part of the service here at cot_tossed.)
I had my doubts about this story from the second sentence, which refers to "Brigadier Alastair Letherbridge-Stewart." It's another story that could have benefited from a thorough once-over by a beta who knows about good comma placement, not that this would have helped the sex, which involves purple phrases such as "leaking cock" and "Ianto also cried out and released his own essence in blistering waves over the sheets below."
A Taste of Ianto by Buttononthetop
Because Ianto's been busy filing, he and Jack have gone without sex for three whole days. (OH NO!) In retaliation, Jack begins a series of delayed-gratification games with Ianto, culminating in sex and light S&M. The character voices aren't wholly convincing, and though the story starts out in Jack's POV, it shifts to Ianto's midway through the first section, and then starts mixing POVs within the same paragraphs. If the POV issues were cleaned up, along with some trite language and spelling inconsistencies, this would be a better story. As is, it still needs work.
Moving In by Calico
The setup couldn't be simpler: it's Ianto's first day at work, Jack thinks he's hot, and he decides to see if Ianto wants to have sex. Tightly written, with cheeky humor, characters who actually sound like themselves, and very hot sex. (My only complaint, and it's a tiny one, is that "Hub" needs to be capitalized throughout.) Highly recommended.
Mine by enkanowen
The reviewers here at cot_tossed talk a lot about the basic mechanics of spelling, grammar, and formatting, and the reason is that these mechanics are important. They're literally the difference between a story that's readable and one that isn't. And here, the multiple missing commas and paragraphs that frequently lack space between them make this story almost too difficult to read.
I struggled through anyway, and found a story about a premise that didn't sound in-character to me: Jack and Ianto cheer up Gwen on her Hen Night by handcuffing her to a chair and having sex in front of her. Never mind asking whether Gwen wants to watch - though this is PWP, so of course she loves it. I understand that kinkmeme prompts often feature out-of-character scenarios; the writer's challenge is to make those scenarios hot and believable anyway. This story was neither, in my opinion.
What It Is by Becky_H
Jack and Captain John have rough sex against a wall. Not my particular kink, but this is well-executed, with language that feels as rough and brutal as the sex itself. I liked the last paragraph a lot for its insight into Jack's character.
Overall: Some very high highs, some very low lows, and where's the PWP femslash, Torchwood fans? Tosh is hot. (That aside, my vote goes to Moving In.)
I'm not sure I buy the idea of Ianto as a dom, much less one who'd pistol-whip Captain John Hart essentially as foreplay. But if you can deal with that, this is reasonably good Ianto/John, and Lionessvalenti does an excellent job with John's voice. The porn is more minimalist than I prefer, but I'd rather see minimalist and direct than read about someone's throbbing shaft. Readers into M/M dom/sub scenarios will probably like this one.
Proof by Ladygray99
"Sir" should not be capitalized unless it's beginning a sentence or preceding a knight's name. There are loads of missing commas, and not just in discretionary locations. The story is riddled with typos. And that's before you even get to the plot, which involves Jack deciding that poor, sexually repressed Ianto, abused as a child for having impure thoughts, just needs a little of the ol' healing cock to feel better about himself. The sex, when you actually get to it, isn't bad, but the story mechanics and plot made it so hard to reach that point that it wasn't worth it.
Just Desserts by Ophymirage
This story consists of nothing but completely untagged dialogue without quotation marks. There's no exposition, and very few cues about who's speaking at any given time. It's a style that can work well in short bursts, but over the course of three chapters, it's just about unreadable. Because of this style, you end up with lines in the sex scene like "Oh! OH! GOD! JACK! GOOD! ahh... hhhaaaaahhhhh... godddddd... ." I felt as if I were spying on someone's RP IM cybersex, which is fine if you're into that sort of thing, but useless if you want something that reads like a cohesive narrative.
More by Unfeathered
Very few quibbles with this one - it's a pretty hot mild dom/sub scene in which Jack shows Ianto just what sex with Nine was like. I liked the imagery of a very dominant Nine telling Jack to strip, and loved the way a bowl of ice water and a glass dildo came into play. Definitely recommended for fans of kink and Jack/Ianto.
Homecoming by Teachwriteslash
(Important note: the link CoT provides for this story points to teachwriteslash's LJ. The link above points to the right place. All part of the service here at cot_tossed.)
I had my doubts about this story from the second sentence, which refers to "Brigadier Alastair Letherbridge-Stewart." It's another story that could have benefited from a thorough once-over by a beta who knows about good comma placement, not that this would have helped the sex, which involves purple phrases such as "leaking cock" and "Ianto also cried out and released his own essence in blistering waves over the sheets below."
A Taste of Ianto by Buttononthetop
Because Ianto's been busy filing, he and Jack have gone without sex for three whole days. (OH NO!) In retaliation, Jack begins a series of delayed-gratification games with Ianto, culminating in sex and light S&M. The character voices aren't wholly convincing, and though the story starts out in Jack's POV, it shifts to Ianto's midway through the first section, and then starts mixing POVs within the same paragraphs. If the POV issues were cleaned up, along with some trite language and spelling inconsistencies, this would be a better story. As is, it still needs work.
Moving In by Calico
The setup couldn't be simpler: it's Ianto's first day at work, Jack thinks he's hot, and he decides to see if Ianto wants to have sex. Tightly written, with cheeky humor, characters who actually sound like themselves, and very hot sex. (My only complaint, and it's a tiny one, is that "Hub" needs to be capitalized throughout.) Highly recommended.
Mine by enkanowen
The reviewers here at cot_tossed talk a lot about the basic mechanics of spelling, grammar, and formatting, and the reason is that these mechanics are important. They're literally the difference between a story that's readable and one that isn't. And here, the multiple missing commas and paragraphs that frequently lack space between them make this story almost too difficult to read.
I struggled through anyway, and found a story about a premise that didn't sound in-character to me: Jack and Ianto cheer up Gwen on her Hen Night by handcuffing her to a chair and having sex in front of her. Never mind asking whether Gwen wants to watch - though this is PWP, so of course she loves it. I understand that kinkmeme prompts often feature out-of-character scenarios; the writer's challenge is to make those scenarios hot and believable anyway. This story was neither, in my opinion.
What It Is by Becky_H
Jack and Captain John have rough sex against a wall. Not my particular kink, but this is well-executed, with language that feels as rough and brutal as the sex itself. I liked the last paragraph a lot for its insight into Jack's character.
Overall: Some very high highs, some very low lows, and where's the PWP femslash, Torchwood fans? Tosh is hot. (That aside, my vote goes to Moving In.)