(no subject)
Eat My Shorts!
(Beer Line 5/3/99 - Stettler, Alberta - Canada) An 18 year-old Stettler man recently tried to eat his shorts in an attempt to avoid drunk driving charges.
The RCMP received a report that David Surfluh's car was weaving on a local highway, apparently under the control of a drunk driver. When the RCMP caught up with him, he ran from his car and was quickly collared. Trying to run away from Alberta's finest was only his first mistake.
While sitting in the back seat of the patrol car, Surfluh tore the crotch out of his jockeys and began eating them. Apparently he was hoping that the cotton would absorb the alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test.
All of this was testified to by RCMP officers in Provincial Court. The courtroom audience, comprised mainly of students visiting from a local High School, had trouble maintaining their composure as the laughable story unfolded.
"People were leaving the courtroom with tears in their eyes," said RCMP Constable Peter McFarlane.
To add insult to injury, Surfluh was acquitted of all charges. It seems that the breathalyzer test revealed a blood alcohol level below the legal limit, which means he ate his shorts for no reason.
Don't get any funny ideas. Breathalyzers cannot be so easily fooled. Gum, breath mints, cigarettes, and BVD's have no effect on the readings they produce. A good way to beat a breathalyzer test is to hire an attorney and prove in court that they are not reliable. An even better idea is to avoid driving after you have been drinking. Either way, all that eating your shorts will do is prove to the world that you are a moron.
(Beer Line 5/3/99 - Stettler, Alberta - Canada) An 18 year-old Stettler man recently tried to eat his shorts in an attempt to avoid drunk driving charges.
The RCMP received a report that David Surfluh's car was weaving on a local highway, apparently under the control of a drunk driver. When the RCMP caught up with him, he ran from his car and was quickly collared. Trying to run away from Alberta's finest was only his first mistake.
While sitting in the back seat of the patrol car, Surfluh tore the crotch out of his jockeys and began eating them. Apparently he was hoping that the cotton would absorb the alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test.
All of this was testified to by RCMP officers in Provincial Court. The courtroom audience, comprised mainly of students visiting from a local High School, had trouble maintaining their composure as the laughable story unfolded.
"People were leaving the courtroom with tears in their eyes," said RCMP Constable Peter McFarlane.
To add insult to injury, Surfluh was acquitted of all charges. It seems that the breathalyzer test revealed a blood alcohol level below the legal limit, which means he ate his shorts for no reason.
Don't get any funny ideas. Breathalyzers cannot be so easily fooled. Gum, breath mints, cigarettes, and BVD's have no effect on the readings they produce. A good way to beat a breathalyzer test is to hire an attorney and prove in court that they are not reliable. An even better idea is to avoid driving after you have been drinking. Either way, all that eating your shorts will do is prove to the world that you are a moron.