[Fic] Dissidia: Final Fantasy - Nine Smiles
Title: Nine Smiles
Pairings: None
Rating: G
Summary: Nine stories about Cloud Strife
Warnings: None
Notes: Companion fic to Nine Lives
IV.
The first thing Cloud knew was it was cold. And despite that fact, he almost didn't want to wake up. Something, he didn't know what, drained him of his willpower. Told him that it would be better if he just drifted back to sleep and never woke up again. He almost listened to it, but a part of him refused. That he mustn't listen to whatever that was. And that part of him was what he obeyed.
Cloud opened his eyes, and what he saw was snow. Snow blanketing the land, snow covered mountains, and snowflakes drifting from grey skies down to the earth. A winter wonderland so beautiful that he didn't want to disturb it.
"Oh, thank goodness you're awake!"
Slowly, Cloud turned and saw the face of a man leaning over him, dressed in ornate medieval looking armor and with flowing white hair that seemed to match the snowy landscape they were in.
"I was so concerned," the man said, helping Cloud first sit up, then to his feet. "'Tis fortunate I happened upon you. I was afraid you were dead."
"Where am I?" Cloud asked. His voice was hoarse and his throat was dry. The armored man passed him a beaker containing water, and he sipped a tiny amount from it.
"They call this area the Elven Snowfields," the man answered. "But other than - surely you need more than that. Drink more, you need it. What was I saying? Ah, well, I cannot tell you much more than that." Not wanting to be rude, Cloud drank more water and the man pointed at the ground next to him. "Is that yours?"
Cloud looked down. Even though he could remember little more than his own name, he did remember what the man was pointing at was, indeed, his. The Buster Sword. Cloud nodded and bent down to pick it up. The man watched him in awe as he effortlessly lifted the gigantic weapon. He handed the now empty beaker back to the man.
"Thanks." And he started to walk away, but his steps were uneasy and the snow only hindered him more. When Cloud inevitably stumbled, the man caught him and steadied him before he fell.
"Do you have companions you need to reunite with?" When Cloud shook his head, the man continued, "Then why don't you come with me? My friends and I have taken shelter in an old building not too far from here."
Shaking his head again, Cloud replied, "...I'd only be a burden to you."
"Nonsense." The man removed his cape and wrapped it around Cloud's shoulders. "I'm not taking no for an answer; I refuse to leave you alone in this cold. Now, come with me." With little choice but to comply, Cloud agreed to go with the man. "My name is Cecil Harvey. You are?"
"...Cloud Strife."
II.
He had told himself that he would leave Cecil and his two friends as soon as he was fit enough to travel. Although he was weak at first, Cloud knew that all he needed was some food, warmth, and rest to recover quickly. His plan was to stay only for as long as necessary and leave right away to avoid making friends and getting attached.
That plan, Cloud mused as he trailed a bit behind Cecil and his friends, failed miserably.
Cecil had brought him back to where he and his friends were staying and his two friends, Firion and Tidus, welcomed Cloud warmly and seemed to have no trouble with having a stranger in their group. Cecil would later explain that it was how the three of them met, complete strangers who only met recently and banded together, but at the time, Cloud was surprised and a little confused that they were so accepting. They eagerly shared their food with him and invited him to sit with them at the fire. He learned that they were staying in one place for a few days - Firion had sustained a serious, but not life threatening injury and needed time to heal before they could travel again.
Cloud had tried being quiet and pretending that he preferred to be by himself, but the three of them were having none of that. Cecil and Firion regularly dragged him into conversation, telling him about themselves and the misadventures they had. Occasionally, they would ask Cloud some things, but he had few answers for them and instead did his best to give them decent advice for their journey. Tidus was less interested in serious conversation, but appreciated the fact that Cloud was a good listener. One time, he had performed a trick with that weird ball of his and Cloud made the fatal mistake of complementing his skill. Tidus would now often try to get his attention to show off more in an attempt to hear more praise. Cloud would indulge him every time, as the way Tidus' face would just light up was irresistible.
As he predicted, Cloud was fit and ready to travel after only one day's rest. But he couldn't bring himself to leave them, and would constantly come up with excuses to stay another day. Things like, "It's too late to go now since I was out all day looking for firewood," or "there's a blizzard, which would make travel more or less impossible." The day Cloud couldn't come up with an excuse, he reluctantly geared himself up to force himself to leave. Just before he reached the required amount of willpower to do so, Firion's voice interrupted him.
"Cloud, we're ready to leave," he said, and Cloud's heart sank. They were leaving now? What was he supposed to do? "Do you mind carrying the medicine bag? I was going to ask Tidus to do it, but I can't find him. He's probably already outside."
"...you want me to go with you guys?" Cloud asked, blinking.
"...yes?" Firion replied, equally confused. "You're our friend and a part of our group, aren't you?"
Cloud picked up the bag and he and Firion walked outside where Cecil and Tidus were waiting. And ever since then, Cloud had stuck around with them and was off to fulfill Cosmos' wishes with them.
"Can I ask you something?"
"What is it, Cloud?" Firion answered.
"You called me sensible...are you sure about that?"
It was a strange question to Firion. "Of course. Does that bother you?"
"It's just...I'm not sure if I am," Cloud said, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know exactly who I am or what's going on in this world. How can someone be sensible when he doesn't know anything?"
Firion smiled, placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "You're sensible because you have doubts. You don't go rushing into things like the rest of us. You want to be sure that all of us are making the right decisions. I wasn't lying when I said that we were fortunate to have you around. Think of all the trouble we'd be in without you."
Cloud tried, but found it hard to imagine. After all, they were doing just fine without him, right?
VI.
Cloud liked Terra. Not in that way, but he found her very relatable. She understood some of the things he was going through, and even if she didn't, it was hard to not like such a kind, gentle girl. She didn't deserve any of the pain and suffering she had gone through. In Cloud's opinion, she was handling it extremely well. Most other people would have buckled under the stress. He knew he would have. In fact, she seemed more upset over Onion Knight's disappearance more than anything else.
"He'll be okay," Cloud told her as they walked, but he suspected he didn't sound very convincing. Did she even hear him? He was never good at this kind of thing.
However, even if he was the best person in the world at cheering people up, Terra would have still worried. It wasn't just the fact that Onion Knight had gone missing. It was also because she felt responsible for his disappearance. She was the one Kefka was after, not him. If anyone should disappear, it should be her.
"You feel guilty."
Terra looked up at him. "Huh?"
"When something happens to someone you care about. You can't help but think, 'it should have been me,' or 'I should have done something to prevent it in the first place.'"
"Cloud...are you speaking from experience?" she asked.
All he could do is shrug his shoulders. His memories were starting to return to him, but only in small trickles. "Dunno. Maybe. Wouldn't be surprised if I was."
His reply and the sight of big, strong Cloud shrugging so haphazardly like that, well, to Terra, he just looked silly and she couldn't help but giggle a bit, but quickly stopped herself. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you."
"I don't mind," he answered, and they continued on in silence for a while, keeping an eye out for the missing Onion Knight. Sadly, their efforts were to no avail.
Terra wanted to keep going, but her feet ached from all the walking, and despite her immense talent in the magical arts, she could barely scrape together even the most basic of spells due to all the casting she had done just fighting off enemies. She noticed Cloud watching her across the campfire's flames and she met his gaze.
"You look like you want to say something."
Caught, Cloud fumbled a bit with his words. "I-It's nothing important."
"I still want to hear it."
"It's just..." Cloud paused, trying to find the right words. "Well, the kid. He did what he did because he wanted to protect you. He made that choice. None of this is your fault."
Tilting her head, Terra rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Cloud...are you speaking from experience?"
The faintest of smiles tugged at the corners of his mouth. Cloud shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe. Wouldn't be surprised if I was."
This time, Terra burst out laughing, and once she calmed down, moved to sit next to him. Cloud shifted awkwardly and then said, "...you should smile more."
"Hmm?"
"You have a nice smile," he elaborated, "When we find the kid, make sure you have your best smile on. It's what he'll want to see."
Pondering what he just said, Terra decided it was good advice. She wasn't sure how she would react if...when they found Onion Knight. But it made sense to her that smiles would be better than tears. A thought crossed her mind and without warning, she reached up with both hands to tug at the corners of Cloud's mouth.
"I will, but only if you smile too. I bet you have a great smile."
"...sure." It was a promise that Cloud wasn't sure if he could keep, but he was certainly going to try.
III.
Onion Knight wasn't sure what he thought about Cloud. On the one hand, it was nice to have another person around to watch their backs and he was definitely grateful that Cloud had protected Terra when he couldn't. On the other, he couldn't help but compare himself to Cloud. What if Terra decided she'd rather have Cloud protecting her than him? After all, Cloud was big (compared to Onion Knight), strong, and handsome. What girl wouldn't want someone like that protecting them?
Yeah, he was jealous, and he knew it. And logically, he knew that it was a completely unfound jealousy because Cloud was a rival only in the sense of being in the general vicinity. The soldier was not trying to usurp his position or anything. Onion Knight felt bad, but couldn't help it. Cloud was just so...awesome compared to him.
Realizing he was staring, Onion Knight blinked and tried looking away as Cloud poked at the campfire with a stick. It crackled and embers popped as the flames grew a little bit larger. Satisfied, Cloud tossed the stick onto the fire, watching as it quickly caught flame.
I bet you never felt this way.
"You think so?" Cloud asked.
...crap. Had he said that out loud?
"Want to hear a story?"
"About what?" Onion Knight asked.
"About me."
"Uh...sure."
Cloud closed his eyes, and after a few seconds, Onion Knight began to wonder if Cloud was trying to remember or if Cloud wasn't going to tell him anything after all. But thankfully, Cloud started to tell his story.
"When I was a kid..."
...very slowly.
"...when I was a kid, there was this girl I really liked. She was strong, pretty, popular, and smart."
A girl? Onion Knight wondered who she was and what she looked like.
"But I was really shy. I couldn't go talk to her. She had lots of friends, and all of them were cooler and more interesting than me. Why would she want to hang out with me when she could be with them?"
Onion Knight blinked when he heard that. Part of him couldn't believe it. He always pictured as Cloud as the type of guy that girls would have always swooned over. But when he thought about it again...it kind of made sense. Cloud was a bit of a loner, wasn't he?
Cloud paused to take a drink of water, and Onion Knight frowned when he seemed to be taking his sweet time. C'mon, he wanted to hear the rest! After what seemed like ages, Cloud lowered his canteen of water and wiped his mouth with his hand.
"Even so, even if she'd never notice me, I wanted to make sure that nothing bad would ever happen to her. So one day, when I was older, I finally asked her to meet with me."
Again, Cloud paused, this time looking up at the night sky. It was still hazy to him, but the stars above reminded him of that night. The sky was just as clear now as it was back then. Only when Onion Knight growled in impatience did he continue.
"I told her I was leaving town. I was going to join a military group and get stronger. And I promised her I'd always be there to save her when she was in trouble. It was unrealistic, I know."
Not wanting to endure another round of long pauses, Onion Knight prompted him. "And then what?"
Cloud shrugged. "I don't remember."
"...what?"
"I don't remember," Cloud repeated. "That part of my memory hasn't come back yet."
Onion Knight crossed his arms and pouted. "Then why did you tell me all this if you can't even remember how it ends?"
"I just wanted you to know," Cloud said. "Even if it's not complete, I thought it would make you feel better to hear it."
"Well, it didn't," Onion Knight huffed, then added. "...but tell me the rest when you do remember, okay?"
Cloud nodded, and picked up another stick to poke at the fire.
V.
Cloud shifted underneath the piercing gaze of brown eyes. Bartz circled him, letting out a very contemplative "hmm," sound as he did. He was clearly sizing Cloud up, but for what reason, the soldier didn't know. When he had finished, Bartz closed his eyes and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, letting out more "hmms." Without warning, he snapped his fingers and pointed at Cloud.
"You," he said, "are a chocobo person."
Cloud's first, instinctual reaction was annoyance, but then he realized that Bartz had said "are a chocobo person" and not "have chocobo hair."
"Am I right, or am I right?" Bartz asked. "Tell me I'm right. I bet you have a chocobo of your own."
He didn't know how Bartz could tell just by looking at him, but he was right. Cloud nodded.
"I knew it!" Bartz smiled. "Hey Cloud, what are chocobos like where you come from? Tell me about yours!"
He's like a kid, Cloud thought. Rumors of Bartz's affection for the birds were not exaggerated after all, it seemed. "Most chocobos are wild creatures, often found roaming with monsters. If you want one, you need to go find one and tame it. Or you can buy one. Some people are breeders that raise them and sell them."
"And you?" Bartz's eyes were shining.
"I have my own flock."
"Really!?" At that moment, Bartz had nothing but pure admiration for Cloud. A whole flock! Amazing!
"It's only a small one," Cloud said.
"You have a favorite one, right?"
Cloud thought for a second. "Probably the one I use for racing."
Chocobo racing! If Bartz could have been granted one wish right then and there, it would be to visit Cloud's world.
Not noticing Bartz's excitement, Cloud continued on, "I raised her from an egg. She comes from a family of strong racers. I guess you could call her a champion racer."
Privately, Bartz figured his Boco could take Cloud's bird on. "We should race some time!" he suggested, and he was thrilled that Cloud agreed to it. "My Boco versus your...uh...what's your chocobo's name?"
"Name?" Cloud blinked. "...she doesn't have one."
Was Cloud serious!? This was some kind of joke, right? What kind of chocobo lover doesn't name his chocobos?
"...am I supposed to give her one?"
Cloud, apparently, Bartz thought. "Of course you are! What do you call her if she doesn't have a name?"
"Just 'you.' Or 'my chocobo' if I'm talking about her."
No. No no no. This won't do. This won't do at all. Cloud's chocobo needed a name. Of that, Bartz was certain. "All right then. When I meet her, I'll give her a name."
Cloud shrugged. "Sure. Looking forward to it."
I.
Cloud didn't like being the center of attention. He never sought the spotlight. He liked being on the edges of the group, not in the middle. So, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why everybody liked to go out of their way to talk to him. At first, he figured it was the Buster Sword, but even after his weapon stopped being a novelty among them, they would still gravitate towards him.
"Should you not be mingling with the others?" Looking up, he saw the Warrior of Light walking towards him. The leader of the warriors of harmony. Now that Cloud thought about it, this was the first time that the Warrior of Light was coming to speak to him personally. "Is something on your mind, Cloud?"
"No," Cloud answered, turning his attention to the other eight warriors. He could see Tidus and Firion knocking the Blitzball around and Onion Knight showing off his fancy footwork to Terra, no doubt in some attempt to try to impress her. Even Squall was there, and Cloud watched him grab onto Zidane's tail just as the thief was no doubt about to do something foolhardy. A heated argument between them started as Bartz and Cecil watched, laughing at them.
"Lying doesn't suit you, Cloud," the Warrior of Light said. "You do a very poor job of it. Are you afraid of trying to join them?"
When Cloud winced at that, it was the only answer the warrior needed. He shook his head.
"I'm very disappointed in you, Cloud."
Cloud winced again, like he was being scolded by a parent after being caught with one hand in the cookie jar.
"I'm surprised you think so lowly of our companions."
"I don't-" Cloud started, but the Warrior of Light cut his protest short.
"Do you really think they'd be so cold hearted to reject you? Bartz thinks very highly of you, did you know that?" He didn't wait for Cloud to reply and continued. "As does Terra, and Onion Knight, though he is too proud to show it. And what of Cecil, Firion, and Tidus? They welcomed you into their group, do you really think they would turn you away now?"
Feeling very small, all Cloud could do was manage a quiet "no."
The Warrior of Light seemed to think that Cloud had enough of a stern talking to. "Then go. Enjoy yourself while we have this small bit of peace." Cloud got up and started to walk towards the others. Tidus noticed him first, and he kicked the Blitzball towards Cloud, who stopped it and returned it with a kick of his own.
"What about you?" he asked the warrior.
"Me?"
"I didn't see you with the others earlier. Shouldn't you come too?"
"I..." the Warrior of Light trailed off, not able to come up with a proper reason to why he hadn't mingled with the others either. "...you're right." And he joined Cloud as everyone started to gather close to the campfire to tell fantastic and whimsical stories of their homes.
X.
Tidus was upbeat, cheerful, and at times, surprisingly insightful. He might have not looked like it, but Tidus was remarkably talented in reading people, and his method of taking direct approaches to things sometimes gave him clarity that other people lacked.
"So basically," Tidus said once he finished listening to Zidane talk, "you're saying you like girls who can kick your ass and boss you around."
Zidane tilted his head to one side. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess." That would explain why being rejected sometimes made him like a girl more. And with his memory slowly returning to him, he certainly remembered falling for Dagger's toughness. And he would be lying if he said he didn't develop a crush on Freya when he was younger. "What can I say? I like strong, assertive women."
"You must be so whipped, man."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
The two of them broke out into laughter and once they stopped, Zidane got up to see what Onion Knight was up to. Now alone, Tidus looked around to find someone else to kill some time with. His gaze fell on Cloud and he made a direct beeline for him.
"Hey Cloud," he said, taking a seat behind the quiet man.
"Not going to show me anything today?" Cloud asked.
"I lent my ball to Bartz," Tidus sighed dramatically. In the distance, the two of them could see Bartz try to bounce the Blitzball of his head, yell out in pain, and question why it had bumps on it. "So sorry, nothing for you today."
"That's a shame," Cloud replied.
"Uh huh," Tidus agreed. "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I dodged two hundred lightning bolts in a row?"
"Yes." Cloud still really didn't understand many things about that tale. For one, why in Cosmos' name did Tidus decide to do something like that? And how did he get two hundred lightning bolts to strike at him? Didn't he say there were lightning rods all over that Thunder Land (Was it called that? Might have been something else. Electric Plains? Now that didn't sound right either...) place to prevent that kind of thing?
"Oh..." Tidus sounded a little crestfallen that he wouldn't be able to relate that tale again. "What about when I fought a dragon on top of an airship?"
"That too."
Dang! Uh...well, there had to be something Cloud hadn't heard before. "I got it! I'll tell you about the time I decided I had to save Yuna-"
"-from being forced to marry someone she didn't love," Cloud finished. Yep, he had heard that one too. "I think you've told me everything."
No matter how hard he tried, Tidus couldn't come up with anything he knew he hadn't already told Cloud. "Guess I'm out of stories for now, huh? At least I'll have some great things to tell everyone when I get back home."
"You think you'll remember?" Cloud asked. "That we'll all remember?"
"Absolutely," Tidus answered with a definitive nod. "I couldn't forget you guys even if I tried. And hey, even if I don't remember, it doesn't change the fact that we went through so much together. Even if my mind forgets, the memories will still be right here." He pounded the left side of his chest with his fist. "Even if I forget what happened...even if I can't recall your names or your faces, I'll never forget how it felt to fight, laugh, and cry alongside all of you."
Cloud was silent for a few moments, then spoke, "You're so optimistic and bright." He shook his head. "Wish I was more like you."
With an amused snort, Tidus gave him a friendly shove. Cloud barely budged from his spot. "Nah, you don't wanna be like me. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Besides," He lifted his hand and caught his Blitzball as it went sailing overhead. Looks like Bartz got fed up for now, but Tidus knew he'd be back to try again. Someone like him wouldn't be able to resist the allure of Blitz for long. "Besides," he repeated. "The great thing about stories is that each one is special and unique in its own way. They've all got something to tell. Wouldn't it suck if they were all the same?"
Cloud supposed so.
IX.
"Open it! Open it!"
Zidane was hovering over Cloud's shoulder, tail wagging like a dog's. Treasure always got him excited. It was less about the value of whatever might be inside and more about the thrill of finding it and the mystery of not knowing what was hidden away. Sometimes they found weapons or armor. Sometimes they found gil. And sometimes they found the strangest things like pebbles and monster teeth. Zidane figured they must have been valuable enough to somebody for them to be carefully put in a treasure chest, so even if it seemed like a worthless item, it was still treasure to him. After all, he remembered hiding similar things when he was a child.
After an agonizing wait of three seconds, Cloud undid the latch on the treasure chest and lifted the lid, and Zidane tried to peer around him in order to see the contents inside. Cloud frowned and shut the lid before he could.
"Aw, come on," Zidane whined. "What is it?"
"Why don't you look for yourself?" Cloud grumbled, then stood up to leave. And Zidane did, curiously crouching down and opening the lid. Really? That was it? He thought it might have been empty or contained something horrible like a dead moogle. Scooping up the object inside with his arms, he hustled to catch up with Cloud.
"It's just a dress," he said. "And not the first one, either. Cecil found one in a chest a couple days ago." When Cloud responded only with a grunt, he dared to ask, "What, you have bad memories associated with dresses or something?"
"...I had to wear one once."
"That all?" Zidane poked at Cloud with his tail. Hmm, maybe Terra would like this dress? The other one they had was too small for her. Would giving this to her win some favor? A kiss maybe? "It couldn't have been that bad, could it?"
Cloud stared at him in response. And that stare told Zidane that yes, it really was that bad. Probably worse than he was imagining. Zidane would take his word for it, then.
"If it makes you feel better, I've done it too," he said. "Loads of times." He didn't even have to look at Cloud to know that he was giving him the oddest stare. "I told you I'm an actor, right? Well, the thing about my group is, we only had one girl in the group. And a lot of plays have more than one female parts. Ruby couldn't play all of them, especially when two of them had to be on stage at the same time. So guess who that job went to?" He smiled at the memory. "'Zidane,' they said. 'You're the prettiest,' they said. 'Put on the dress.'" Zidane paused for a moment to fold the garment properly. Didn't want it dragging in the dirt now. "I got used to it after a while. Pretty good at it too, if I do say so myself. And hey, it was useful. Pretending to be a damsel in distress turned out to be a good trick to make a quick gil."
Cloud was polite enough to not point out that being a con artist wasn't quite the same as earning money.
"But I wish we found something more," Zidane continued. "I mean, everyone's in really low spirits for now. Can't blame them. Everything's gone to hell right now. I was hoping we could find something awesome to cheer them up." To be able to show them a really neat sword or a shiny ring or something would make them smile, if only for a short amount of time. Zidane felt like he was letting his friends down and that feeling only amplified when they entered the quiet and miserable campsite. He was out with Cloud all day and all they had to show for it was a dress.
...a dress, huh? Well, you should work with what you have, right?
"You. Come with me," he said, grabbing Cloud's wrist and tugging him along. "Terra! Hey Terra! I need some help here! You know where that dress from the other day is?"
Sometimes, Cloud wasn't sure what the people around him were up to. This time however? He knew exactly what Zidane was scheming. "I'm not doing this."
"It'll be fun," Zidane insisted, going through the party's stash of equipment and accessories, pulling out a circlet and two earrings. "More importantly, I just want everyone to laugh and smile, even if only for a little bit."
"...just this once then. But next time, get someone else to do it."
Zidane laughed as Terra pulled out the second dress, then stared at Cloud for a few seconds. "...this is gonna be hard. A challenge even. Don't worry, me and Terra'll get you all dolled up in no time."
An hour later, Terra stepped into the middle of the camp. "Um...can I have your attention everybody?" When all eyes were on her, she felt awkward and almost wanted to back out. But no, she wouldn't. She, Zidane, and Cloud had worked hard on this. "I would like to announce a...uh...a performance is being held right now by our very own Cloud Strife and Zidane Tribal. You can come out now, Cloud...er, 'Miss Cloudette.'" Deciding that was good enough, she stepped aside as Cloud timidly stepped out from behind a tree, wearing one of the dresses and various pieces of jewelry. His trademark spiked hair looked different, slicked down when Zidane and Terra dumped a bucket full of water on his head. He was supposed to say something or other, but with everyone staring at him, he forgot his line.
There was nothing but dead silence for what felt like forever. It was eventually broken by Tidus being unable to hold in his laughter any longer. While they had tried their best, in the end, Cloud still looked like a muscular man wearing a dress. And how was that not hilarious? Bartz quickly joined in on the laughter and Cecil stifled a chuckle while Onion Knight was struggling to keep his composure. Firion shook his head, clearly amused and even the Warrior of Light cracked a smile. Squall Leonhart, however, just looked disturbed.
Next it was Zidane's turn, and everyone just had to stop and stare when he came out. Was that...really Zidane? No, that had to be some kind of identical twin sister, right? He had gone for a princess look, and presented himself as dainty and regal. He changed his hairstyle a bit, parting his hair on the side and letting it fall over his eye. The circlet was perched on top of his head, and he had taken care to pick out accessories that would go with it.
"Good evening, everybody," he said, in a convincing girl's voice. "It's so nice to see you all."
Tidus started laughing again and Cecil clapped at such a good costume and performance. Bartz decided to play along and asked Zidane to dance with him with an exaggerated bow. (He would later discover his gil pouch missing.) Squall looked even more disturbed than before. Firion picked a flower from the ground and presented it to Cloud.
"For..." It was pretty obvious that he was trying not to laugh. "...for you, Miss...Cloudette."
Cloud stared at it for a bit and wanted to tell Firion to go away, but he remembered why he (reluctantly) agreed to do this in the first place. "Uh...thanks." He made no effort to try to sound more feminine.
"Please excuse me for a second." Firion turned around and Cloud could see him shaking with laughter.
The mood in the camp had brightened considerably, and later on, Cloud decided that, okay maybe Zidane was right and it was worth it to see everyone smile.
But he still wasn't going to do that ever again.
VIII.
In the shade of the gorge, Cloud rested with Squall Leonhart beside him. The two of them were exhausted from the duel the Warrior of Light asked them to have. It ended with no real winner, as the two of them fought stubbornly until they were forced to stop, lest they collapse from fatigue. Squall was a phenominal fighter. Cloud wasn't even half as good as he was when he was his age. But he supposed he wasn't being fair to himself. Squall said he had been learning to fight since he was a child.
Squall rarely talked about himself, and when he did, it was small, choice pieces. But it was enough to give Cloud a picture of what his life was like. It wasn't unlike what he could remember: in a military, serving under a commander. When you were told to move, you moved. When you were told to stop, you stopped. When you were told to kill, you killed. It wasn't like what Cloud had imagined when he first left Nibelheim. Maybe that was why he never made the cut. Squall probably could.
They had never actually had a real converstaion before, but Cloud felt compelled to ask, "How do you do it?"
"Do what?" Squall was nearly asleep, but Cloud's question woke him right up.
"Do what you do. How do you know you're doing the right thing?"
Squall gave him a Look. He always felt weird giving advice out, especially on philosophical crap like this. Were it anyone else, he might have said, 'I don't know. Go ask Cecil.' But, he was feeling generous, and he always kind of did want to talk to Cloud.
"You can't ever be sure," he said. "And you can't just stay in one place like an idiot, paralyzed with fear. You'll never find out if you do. Pick a path that you like and go down it. If you don't like where it's going, then pick another one."
He wasn't one for holding back his words, was he? Still, Cloud appreciated the honesty. "Guess I gotta find one I like then."
"It's not that hard," Squall snorted, leaning against the gorge and closing his eyes. "Don't overcomplicate it by worrying about stupid things."
Maybe Cloud did worry too much about things that couldn't be changed or things that didn't need to be worried about in the first place. Maybe Squall was right. Maybe he had to sort himself out.
Maybe he should take a nap first.
Pairings: None
Rating: G
Summary: Nine stories about Cloud Strife
Warnings: None
Notes: Companion fic to Nine Lives
IV.
The first thing Cloud knew was it was cold. And despite that fact, he almost didn't want to wake up. Something, he didn't know what, drained him of his willpower. Told him that it would be better if he just drifted back to sleep and never woke up again. He almost listened to it, but a part of him refused. That he mustn't listen to whatever that was. And that part of him was what he obeyed.
Cloud opened his eyes, and what he saw was snow. Snow blanketing the land, snow covered mountains, and snowflakes drifting from grey skies down to the earth. A winter wonderland so beautiful that he didn't want to disturb it.
"Oh, thank goodness you're awake!"
Slowly, Cloud turned and saw the face of a man leaning over him, dressed in ornate medieval looking armor and with flowing white hair that seemed to match the snowy landscape they were in.
"I was so concerned," the man said, helping Cloud first sit up, then to his feet. "'Tis fortunate I happened upon you. I was afraid you were dead."
"Where am I?" Cloud asked. His voice was hoarse and his throat was dry. The armored man passed him a beaker containing water, and he sipped a tiny amount from it.
"They call this area the Elven Snowfields," the man answered. "But other than - surely you need more than that. Drink more, you need it. What was I saying? Ah, well, I cannot tell you much more than that." Not wanting to be rude, Cloud drank more water and the man pointed at the ground next to him. "Is that yours?"
Cloud looked down. Even though he could remember little more than his own name, he did remember what the man was pointing at was, indeed, his. The Buster Sword. Cloud nodded and bent down to pick it up. The man watched him in awe as he effortlessly lifted the gigantic weapon. He handed the now empty beaker back to the man.
"Thanks." And he started to walk away, but his steps were uneasy and the snow only hindered him more. When Cloud inevitably stumbled, the man caught him and steadied him before he fell.
"Do you have companions you need to reunite with?" When Cloud shook his head, the man continued, "Then why don't you come with me? My friends and I have taken shelter in an old building not too far from here."
Shaking his head again, Cloud replied, "...I'd only be a burden to you."
"Nonsense." The man removed his cape and wrapped it around Cloud's shoulders. "I'm not taking no for an answer; I refuse to leave you alone in this cold. Now, come with me." With little choice but to comply, Cloud agreed to go with the man. "My name is Cecil Harvey. You are?"
"...Cloud Strife."
II.
He had told himself that he would leave Cecil and his two friends as soon as he was fit enough to travel. Although he was weak at first, Cloud knew that all he needed was some food, warmth, and rest to recover quickly. His plan was to stay only for as long as necessary and leave right away to avoid making friends and getting attached.
That plan, Cloud mused as he trailed a bit behind Cecil and his friends, failed miserably.
Cecil had brought him back to where he and his friends were staying and his two friends, Firion and Tidus, welcomed Cloud warmly and seemed to have no trouble with having a stranger in their group. Cecil would later explain that it was how the three of them met, complete strangers who only met recently and banded together, but at the time, Cloud was surprised and a little confused that they were so accepting. They eagerly shared their food with him and invited him to sit with them at the fire. He learned that they were staying in one place for a few days - Firion had sustained a serious, but not life threatening injury and needed time to heal before they could travel again.
Cloud had tried being quiet and pretending that he preferred to be by himself, but the three of them were having none of that. Cecil and Firion regularly dragged him into conversation, telling him about themselves and the misadventures they had. Occasionally, they would ask Cloud some things, but he had few answers for them and instead did his best to give them decent advice for their journey. Tidus was less interested in serious conversation, but appreciated the fact that Cloud was a good listener. One time, he had performed a trick with that weird ball of his and Cloud made the fatal mistake of complementing his skill. Tidus would now often try to get his attention to show off more in an attempt to hear more praise. Cloud would indulge him every time, as the way Tidus' face would just light up was irresistible.
As he predicted, Cloud was fit and ready to travel after only one day's rest. But he couldn't bring himself to leave them, and would constantly come up with excuses to stay another day. Things like, "It's too late to go now since I was out all day looking for firewood," or "there's a blizzard, which would make travel more or less impossible." The day Cloud couldn't come up with an excuse, he reluctantly geared himself up to force himself to leave. Just before he reached the required amount of willpower to do so, Firion's voice interrupted him.
"Cloud, we're ready to leave," he said, and Cloud's heart sank. They were leaving now? What was he supposed to do? "Do you mind carrying the medicine bag? I was going to ask Tidus to do it, but I can't find him. He's probably already outside."
"...you want me to go with you guys?" Cloud asked, blinking.
"...yes?" Firion replied, equally confused. "You're our friend and a part of our group, aren't you?"
Cloud picked up the bag and he and Firion walked outside where Cecil and Tidus were waiting. And ever since then, Cloud had stuck around with them and was off to fulfill Cosmos' wishes with them.
"Can I ask you something?"
"What is it, Cloud?" Firion answered.
"You called me sensible...are you sure about that?"
It was a strange question to Firion. "Of course. Does that bother you?"
"It's just...I'm not sure if I am," Cloud said, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know exactly who I am or what's going on in this world. How can someone be sensible when he doesn't know anything?"
Firion smiled, placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "You're sensible because you have doubts. You don't go rushing into things like the rest of us. You want to be sure that all of us are making the right decisions. I wasn't lying when I said that we were fortunate to have you around. Think of all the trouble we'd be in without you."
Cloud tried, but found it hard to imagine. After all, they were doing just fine without him, right?
VI.
Cloud liked Terra. Not in that way, but he found her very relatable. She understood some of the things he was going through, and even if she didn't, it was hard to not like such a kind, gentle girl. She didn't deserve any of the pain and suffering she had gone through. In Cloud's opinion, she was handling it extremely well. Most other people would have buckled under the stress. He knew he would have. In fact, she seemed more upset over Onion Knight's disappearance more than anything else.
"He'll be okay," Cloud told her as they walked, but he suspected he didn't sound very convincing. Did she even hear him? He was never good at this kind of thing.
However, even if he was the best person in the world at cheering people up, Terra would have still worried. It wasn't just the fact that Onion Knight had gone missing. It was also because she felt responsible for his disappearance. She was the one Kefka was after, not him. If anyone should disappear, it should be her.
"You feel guilty."
Terra looked up at him. "Huh?"
"When something happens to someone you care about. You can't help but think, 'it should have been me,' or 'I should have done something to prevent it in the first place.'"
"Cloud...are you speaking from experience?" she asked.
All he could do is shrug his shoulders. His memories were starting to return to him, but only in small trickles. "Dunno. Maybe. Wouldn't be surprised if I was."
His reply and the sight of big, strong Cloud shrugging so haphazardly like that, well, to Terra, he just looked silly and she couldn't help but giggle a bit, but quickly stopped herself. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you."
"I don't mind," he answered, and they continued on in silence for a while, keeping an eye out for the missing Onion Knight. Sadly, their efforts were to no avail.
Terra wanted to keep going, but her feet ached from all the walking, and despite her immense talent in the magical arts, she could barely scrape together even the most basic of spells due to all the casting she had done just fighting off enemies. She noticed Cloud watching her across the campfire's flames and she met his gaze.
"You look like you want to say something."
Caught, Cloud fumbled a bit with his words. "I-It's nothing important."
"I still want to hear it."
"It's just..." Cloud paused, trying to find the right words. "Well, the kid. He did what he did because he wanted to protect you. He made that choice. None of this is your fault."
Tilting her head, Terra rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Cloud...are you speaking from experience?"
The faintest of smiles tugged at the corners of his mouth. Cloud shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe. Wouldn't be surprised if I was."
This time, Terra burst out laughing, and once she calmed down, moved to sit next to him. Cloud shifted awkwardly and then said, "...you should smile more."
"Hmm?"
"You have a nice smile," he elaborated, "When we find the kid, make sure you have your best smile on. It's what he'll want to see."
Pondering what he just said, Terra decided it was good advice. She wasn't sure how she would react if...when they found Onion Knight. But it made sense to her that smiles would be better than tears. A thought crossed her mind and without warning, she reached up with both hands to tug at the corners of Cloud's mouth.
"I will, but only if you smile too. I bet you have a great smile."
"...sure." It was a promise that Cloud wasn't sure if he could keep, but he was certainly going to try.
III.
Onion Knight wasn't sure what he thought about Cloud. On the one hand, it was nice to have another person around to watch their backs and he was definitely grateful that Cloud had protected Terra when he couldn't. On the other, he couldn't help but compare himself to Cloud. What if Terra decided she'd rather have Cloud protecting her than him? After all, Cloud was big (compared to Onion Knight), strong, and handsome. What girl wouldn't want someone like that protecting them?
Yeah, he was jealous, and he knew it. And logically, he knew that it was a completely unfound jealousy because Cloud was a rival only in the sense of being in the general vicinity. The soldier was not trying to usurp his position or anything. Onion Knight felt bad, but couldn't help it. Cloud was just so...awesome compared to him.
Realizing he was staring, Onion Knight blinked and tried looking away as Cloud poked at the campfire with a stick. It crackled and embers popped as the flames grew a little bit larger. Satisfied, Cloud tossed the stick onto the fire, watching as it quickly caught flame.
I bet you never felt this way.
"You think so?" Cloud asked.
...crap. Had he said that out loud?
"Want to hear a story?"
"About what?" Onion Knight asked.
"About me."
"Uh...sure."
Cloud closed his eyes, and after a few seconds, Onion Knight began to wonder if Cloud was trying to remember or if Cloud wasn't going to tell him anything after all. But thankfully, Cloud started to tell his story.
"When I was a kid..."
...very slowly.
"...when I was a kid, there was this girl I really liked. She was strong, pretty, popular, and smart."
A girl? Onion Knight wondered who she was and what she looked like.
"But I was really shy. I couldn't go talk to her. She had lots of friends, and all of them were cooler and more interesting than me. Why would she want to hang out with me when she could be with them?"
Onion Knight blinked when he heard that. Part of him couldn't believe it. He always pictured as Cloud as the type of guy that girls would have always swooned over. But when he thought about it again...it kind of made sense. Cloud was a bit of a loner, wasn't he?
Cloud paused to take a drink of water, and Onion Knight frowned when he seemed to be taking his sweet time. C'mon, he wanted to hear the rest! After what seemed like ages, Cloud lowered his canteen of water and wiped his mouth with his hand.
"Even so, even if she'd never notice me, I wanted to make sure that nothing bad would ever happen to her. So one day, when I was older, I finally asked her to meet with me."
Again, Cloud paused, this time looking up at the night sky. It was still hazy to him, but the stars above reminded him of that night. The sky was just as clear now as it was back then. Only when Onion Knight growled in impatience did he continue.
"I told her I was leaving town. I was going to join a military group and get stronger. And I promised her I'd always be there to save her when she was in trouble. It was unrealistic, I know."
Not wanting to endure another round of long pauses, Onion Knight prompted him. "And then what?"
Cloud shrugged. "I don't remember."
"...what?"
"I don't remember," Cloud repeated. "That part of my memory hasn't come back yet."
Onion Knight crossed his arms and pouted. "Then why did you tell me all this if you can't even remember how it ends?"
"I just wanted you to know," Cloud said. "Even if it's not complete, I thought it would make you feel better to hear it."
"Well, it didn't," Onion Knight huffed, then added. "...but tell me the rest when you do remember, okay?"
Cloud nodded, and picked up another stick to poke at the fire.
V.
Cloud shifted underneath the piercing gaze of brown eyes. Bartz circled him, letting out a very contemplative "hmm," sound as he did. He was clearly sizing Cloud up, but for what reason, the soldier didn't know. When he had finished, Bartz closed his eyes and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, letting out more "hmms." Without warning, he snapped his fingers and pointed at Cloud.
"You," he said, "are a chocobo person."
Cloud's first, instinctual reaction was annoyance, but then he realized that Bartz had said "are a chocobo person" and not "have chocobo hair."
"Am I right, or am I right?" Bartz asked. "Tell me I'm right. I bet you have a chocobo of your own."
He didn't know how Bartz could tell just by looking at him, but he was right. Cloud nodded.
"I knew it!" Bartz smiled. "Hey Cloud, what are chocobos like where you come from? Tell me about yours!"
He's like a kid, Cloud thought. Rumors of Bartz's affection for the birds were not exaggerated after all, it seemed. "Most chocobos are wild creatures, often found roaming with monsters. If you want one, you need to go find one and tame it. Or you can buy one. Some people are breeders that raise them and sell them."
"And you?" Bartz's eyes were shining.
"I have my own flock."
"Really!?" At that moment, Bartz had nothing but pure admiration for Cloud. A whole flock! Amazing!
"It's only a small one," Cloud said.
"You have a favorite one, right?"
Cloud thought for a second. "Probably the one I use for racing."
Chocobo racing! If Bartz could have been granted one wish right then and there, it would be to visit Cloud's world.
Not noticing Bartz's excitement, Cloud continued on, "I raised her from an egg. She comes from a family of strong racers. I guess you could call her a champion racer."
Privately, Bartz figured his Boco could take Cloud's bird on. "We should race some time!" he suggested, and he was thrilled that Cloud agreed to it. "My Boco versus your...uh...what's your chocobo's name?"
"Name?" Cloud blinked. "...she doesn't have one."
Was Cloud serious!? This was some kind of joke, right? What kind of chocobo lover doesn't name his chocobos?
"...am I supposed to give her one?"
Cloud, apparently, Bartz thought. "Of course you are! What do you call her if she doesn't have a name?"
"Just 'you.' Or 'my chocobo' if I'm talking about her."
No. No no no. This won't do. This won't do at all. Cloud's chocobo needed a name. Of that, Bartz was certain. "All right then. When I meet her, I'll give her a name."
Cloud shrugged. "Sure. Looking forward to it."
I.
Cloud didn't like being the center of attention. He never sought the spotlight. He liked being on the edges of the group, not in the middle. So, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why everybody liked to go out of their way to talk to him. At first, he figured it was the Buster Sword, but even after his weapon stopped being a novelty among them, they would still gravitate towards him.
"Should you not be mingling with the others?" Looking up, he saw the Warrior of Light walking towards him. The leader of the warriors of harmony. Now that Cloud thought about it, this was the first time that the Warrior of Light was coming to speak to him personally. "Is something on your mind, Cloud?"
"No," Cloud answered, turning his attention to the other eight warriors. He could see Tidus and Firion knocking the Blitzball around and Onion Knight showing off his fancy footwork to Terra, no doubt in some attempt to try to impress her. Even Squall was there, and Cloud watched him grab onto Zidane's tail just as the thief was no doubt about to do something foolhardy. A heated argument between them started as Bartz and Cecil watched, laughing at them.
"Lying doesn't suit you, Cloud," the Warrior of Light said. "You do a very poor job of it. Are you afraid of trying to join them?"
When Cloud winced at that, it was the only answer the warrior needed. He shook his head.
"I'm very disappointed in you, Cloud."
Cloud winced again, like he was being scolded by a parent after being caught with one hand in the cookie jar.
"I'm surprised you think so lowly of our companions."
"I don't-" Cloud started, but the Warrior of Light cut his protest short.
"Do you really think they'd be so cold hearted to reject you? Bartz thinks very highly of you, did you know that?" He didn't wait for Cloud to reply and continued. "As does Terra, and Onion Knight, though he is too proud to show it. And what of Cecil, Firion, and Tidus? They welcomed you into their group, do you really think they would turn you away now?"
Feeling very small, all Cloud could do was manage a quiet "no."
The Warrior of Light seemed to think that Cloud had enough of a stern talking to. "Then go. Enjoy yourself while we have this small bit of peace." Cloud got up and started to walk towards the others. Tidus noticed him first, and he kicked the Blitzball towards Cloud, who stopped it and returned it with a kick of his own.
"What about you?" he asked the warrior.
"Me?"
"I didn't see you with the others earlier. Shouldn't you come too?"
"I..." the Warrior of Light trailed off, not able to come up with a proper reason to why he hadn't mingled with the others either. "...you're right." And he joined Cloud as everyone started to gather close to the campfire to tell fantastic and whimsical stories of their homes.
X.
Tidus was upbeat, cheerful, and at times, surprisingly insightful. He might have not looked like it, but Tidus was remarkably talented in reading people, and his method of taking direct approaches to things sometimes gave him clarity that other people lacked.
"So basically," Tidus said once he finished listening to Zidane talk, "you're saying you like girls who can kick your ass and boss you around."
Zidane tilted his head to one side. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess." That would explain why being rejected sometimes made him like a girl more. And with his memory slowly returning to him, he certainly remembered falling for Dagger's toughness. And he would be lying if he said he didn't develop a crush on Freya when he was younger. "What can I say? I like strong, assertive women."
"You must be so whipped, man."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
The two of them broke out into laughter and once they stopped, Zidane got up to see what Onion Knight was up to. Now alone, Tidus looked around to find someone else to kill some time with. His gaze fell on Cloud and he made a direct beeline for him.
"Hey Cloud," he said, taking a seat behind the quiet man.
"Not going to show me anything today?" Cloud asked.
"I lent my ball to Bartz," Tidus sighed dramatically. In the distance, the two of them could see Bartz try to bounce the Blitzball of his head, yell out in pain, and question why it had bumps on it. "So sorry, nothing for you today."
"That's a shame," Cloud replied.
"Uh huh," Tidus agreed. "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I dodged two hundred lightning bolts in a row?"
"Yes." Cloud still really didn't understand many things about that tale. For one, why in Cosmos' name did Tidus decide to do something like that? And how did he get two hundred lightning bolts to strike at him? Didn't he say there were lightning rods all over that Thunder Land (Was it called that? Might have been something else. Electric Plains? Now that didn't sound right either...) place to prevent that kind of thing?
"Oh..." Tidus sounded a little crestfallen that he wouldn't be able to relate that tale again. "What about when I fought a dragon on top of an airship?"
"That too."
Dang! Uh...well, there had to be something Cloud hadn't heard before. "I got it! I'll tell you about the time I decided I had to save Yuna-"
"-from being forced to marry someone she didn't love," Cloud finished. Yep, he had heard that one too. "I think you've told me everything."
No matter how hard he tried, Tidus couldn't come up with anything he knew he hadn't already told Cloud. "Guess I'm out of stories for now, huh? At least I'll have some great things to tell everyone when I get back home."
"You think you'll remember?" Cloud asked. "That we'll all remember?"
"Absolutely," Tidus answered with a definitive nod. "I couldn't forget you guys even if I tried. And hey, even if I don't remember, it doesn't change the fact that we went through so much together. Even if my mind forgets, the memories will still be right here." He pounded the left side of his chest with his fist. "Even if I forget what happened...even if I can't recall your names or your faces, I'll never forget how it felt to fight, laugh, and cry alongside all of you."
Cloud was silent for a few moments, then spoke, "You're so optimistic and bright." He shook his head. "Wish I was more like you."
With an amused snort, Tidus gave him a friendly shove. Cloud barely budged from his spot. "Nah, you don't wanna be like me. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Besides," He lifted his hand and caught his Blitzball as it went sailing overhead. Looks like Bartz got fed up for now, but Tidus knew he'd be back to try again. Someone like him wouldn't be able to resist the allure of Blitz for long. "Besides," he repeated. "The great thing about stories is that each one is special and unique in its own way. They've all got something to tell. Wouldn't it suck if they were all the same?"
Cloud supposed so.
IX.
"Open it! Open it!"
Zidane was hovering over Cloud's shoulder, tail wagging like a dog's. Treasure always got him excited. It was less about the value of whatever might be inside and more about the thrill of finding it and the mystery of not knowing what was hidden away. Sometimes they found weapons or armor. Sometimes they found gil. And sometimes they found the strangest things like pebbles and monster teeth. Zidane figured they must have been valuable enough to somebody for them to be carefully put in a treasure chest, so even if it seemed like a worthless item, it was still treasure to him. After all, he remembered hiding similar things when he was a child.
After an agonizing wait of three seconds, Cloud undid the latch on the treasure chest and lifted the lid, and Zidane tried to peer around him in order to see the contents inside. Cloud frowned and shut the lid before he could.
"Aw, come on," Zidane whined. "What is it?"
"Why don't you look for yourself?" Cloud grumbled, then stood up to leave. And Zidane did, curiously crouching down and opening the lid. Really? That was it? He thought it might have been empty or contained something horrible like a dead moogle. Scooping up the object inside with his arms, he hustled to catch up with Cloud.
"It's just a dress," he said. "And not the first one, either. Cecil found one in a chest a couple days ago." When Cloud responded only with a grunt, he dared to ask, "What, you have bad memories associated with dresses or something?"
"...I had to wear one once."
"That all?" Zidane poked at Cloud with his tail. Hmm, maybe Terra would like this dress? The other one they had was too small for her. Would giving this to her win some favor? A kiss maybe? "It couldn't have been that bad, could it?"
Cloud stared at him in response. And that stare told Zidane that yes, it really was that bad. Probably worse than he was imagining. Zidane would take his word for it, then.
"If it makes you feel better, I've done it too," he said. "Loads of times." He didn't even have to look at Cloud to know that he was giving him the oddest stare. "I told you I'm an actor, right? Well, the thing about my group is, we only had one girl in the group. And a lot of plays have more than one female parts. Ruby couldn't play all of them, especially when two of them had to be on stage at the same time. So guess who that job went to?" He smiled at the memory. "'Zidane,' they said. 'You're the prettiest,' they said. 'Put on the dress.'" Zidane paused for a moment to fold the garment properly. Didn't want it dragging in the dirt now. "I got used to it after a while. Pretty good at it too, if I do say so myself. And hey, it was useful. Pretending to be a damsel in distress turned out to be a good trick to make a quick gil."
Cloud was polite enough to not point out that being a con artist wasn't quite the same as earning money.
"But I wish we found something more," Zidane continued. "I mean, everyone's in really low spirits for now. Can't blame them. Everything's gone to hell right now. I was hoping we could find something awesome to cheer them up." To be able to show them a really neat sword or a shiny ring or something would make them smile, if only for a short amount of time. Zidane felt like he was letting his friends down and that feeling only amplified when they entered the quiet and miserable campsite. He was out with Cloud all day and all they had to show for it was a dress.
...a dress, huh? Well, you should work with what you have, right?
"You. Come with me," he said, grabbing Cloud's wrist and tugging him along. "Terra! Hey Terra! I need some help here! You know where that dress from the other day is?"
Sometimes, Cloud wasn't sure what the people around him were up to. This time however? He knew exactly what Zidane was scheming. "I'm not doing this."
"It'll be fun," Zidane insisted, going through the party's stash of equipment and accessories, pulling out a circlet and two earrings. "More importantly, I just want everyone to laugh and smile, even if only for a little bit."
"...just this once then. But next time, get someone else to do it."
Zidane laughed as Terra pulled out the second dress, then stared at Cloud for a few seconds. "...this is gonna be hard. A challenge even. Don't worry, me and Terra'll get you all dolled up in no time."
An hour later, Terra stepped into the middle of the camp. "Um...can I have your attention everybody?" When all eyes were on her, she felt awkward and almost wanted to back out. But no, she wouldn't. She, Zidane, and Cloud had worked hard on this. "I would like to announce a...uh...a performance is being held right now by our very own Cloud Strife and Zidane Tribal. You can come out now, Cloud...er, 'Miss Cloudette.'" Deciding that was good enough, she stepped aside as Cloud timidly stepped out from behind a tree, wearing one of the dresses and various pieces of jewelry. His trademark spiked hair looked different, slicked down when Zidane and Terra dumped a bucket full of water on his head. He was supposed to say something or other, but with everyone staring at him, he forgot his line.
There was nothing but dead silence for what felt like forever. It was eventually broken by Tidus being unable to hold in his laughter any longer. While they had tried their best, in the end, Cloud still looked like a muscular man wearing a dress. And how was that not hilarious? Bartz quickly joined in on the laughter and Cecil stifled a chuckle while Onion Knight was struggling to keep his composure. Firion shook his head, clearly amused and even the Warrior of Light cracked a smile. Squall Leonhart, however, just looked disturbed.
Next it was Zidane's turn, and everyone just had to stop and stare when he came out. Was that...really Zidane? No, that had to be some kind of identical twin sister, right? He had gone for a princess look, and presented himself as dainty and regal. He changed his hairstyle a bit, parting his hair on the side and letting it fall over his eye. The circlet was perched on top of his head, and he had taken care to pick out accessories that would go with it.
"Good evening, everybody," he said, in a convincing girl's voice. "It's so nice to see you all."
Tidus started laughing again and Cecil clapped at such a good costume and performance. Bartz decided to play along and asked Zidane to dance with him with an exaggerated bow. (He would later discover his gil pouch missing.) Squall looked even more disturbed than before. Firion picked a flower from the ground and presented it to Cloud.
"For..." It was pretty obvious that he was trying not to laugh. "...for you, Miss...Cloudette."
Cloud stared at it for a bit and wanted to tell Firion to go away, but he remembered why he (reluctantly) agreed to do this in the first place. "Uh...thanks." He made no effort to try to sound more feminine.
"Please excuse me for a second." Firion turned around and Cloud could see him shaking with laughter.
The mood in the camp had brightened considerably, and later on, Cloud decided that, okay maybe Zidane was right and it was worth it to see everyone smile.
But he still wasn't going to do that ever again.
VIII.
In the shade of the gorge, Cloud rested with Squall Leonhart beside him. The two of them were exhausted from the duel the Warrior of Light asked them to have. It ended with no real winner, as the two of them fought stubbornly until they were forced to stop, lest they collapse from fatigue. Squall was a phenominal fighter. Cloud wasn't even half as good as he was when he was his age. But he supposed he wasn't being fair to himself. Squall said he had been learning to fight since he was a child.
Squall rarely talked about himself, and when he did, it was small, choice pieces. But it was enough to give Cloud a picture of what his life was like. It wasn't unlike what he could remember: in a military, serving under a commander. When you were told to move, you moved. When you were told to stop, you stopped. When you were told to kill, you killed. It wasn't like what Cloud had imagined when he first left Nibelheim. Maybe that was why he never made the cut. Squall probably could.
They had never actually had a real converstaion before, but Cloud felt compelled to ask, "How do you do it?"
"Do what?" Squall was nearly asleep, but Cloud's question woke him right up.
"Do what you do. How do you know you're doing the right thing?"
Squall gave him a Look. He always felt weird giving advice out, especially on philosophical crap like this. Were it anyone else, he might have said, 'I don't know. Go ask Cecil.' But, he was feeling generous, and he always kind of did want to talk to Cloud.
"You can't ever be sure," he said. "And you can't just stay in one place like an idiot, paralyzed with fear. You'll never find out if you do. Pick a path that you like and go down it. If you don't like where it's going, then pick another one."
He wasn't one for holding back his words, was he? Still, Cloud appreciated the honesty. "Guess I gotta find one I like then."
"It's not that hard," Squall snorted, leaning against the gorge and closing his eyes. "Don't overcomplicate it by worrying about stupid things."
Maybe Cloud did worry too much about things that couldn't be changed or things that didn't need to be worried about in the first place. Maybe Squall was right. Maybe he had to sort himself out.
Maybe he should take a nap first.