Insomniatic ramblings
Every so often, about once or twice a year I get into a weird nostalgic depression (for want of a better word). Usually this happens around mid March or early April (for whatever reason the start of spring seems to mess with me); I appear to be getting a late summer/early fall version of it. This time its hitting really weird. I find myself missing outdated communication platforms (theres an app for that now, I guess), and old shitty games I once played (though I suspect I really just miss the communities these fostered).
As usual, its lead me here late at night, to ge reaquainted with High School me, I guess. High School me feels more and more foreign everytime I come back here, which I'm sure is for the best. I've been told high school me was a good guy, but to me he comes off as a whiny jerk. Would it have hurt that guy to post anything of substance? Honestly, he's kind of a tool. I poke through these posts and I see a refusal to be open and the smatterings of started self discovery projects.
Anyways I digress and am no longer really sure what the point I was trying to make with this was.
I think I come back here because my weird Sprng time down swings (and this early fall one, I refuse to conform to your calendar damnit!) are sparked by rembering what I thought my adulthood would be (maybe? It might be that the downswing brings some of that to fore. Oh well, chicken, egg.). I'm pretty sure many of those notions were pie in the sky, but that's unimportant. I'm also really happy with how my life actually turned out, so these swings always feel really self indulgent and kind of stupid really.
Anyway, I know there was more I wanted to say, but I can't remember where this thought train was going and I should really get to bed, its my third night like this in a row and I'm already sleep deprived. I'm not even sure anyone will read this. Well, I know future me will read this. Hopefully it will help him reframe the posts that follow.
I guess I'll sign off with this. Anyone want to open a tourist trap roadside attraction with me? I was thinking along the lines of the worlds largest pipe oragan. We can put an artictic hedge mze behind it. Maybe make some armor for dinosaurs.
As usual, its lead me here late at night, to ge reaquainted with High School me, I guess. High School me feels more and more foreign everytime I come back here, which I'm sure is for the best. I've been told high school me was a good guy, but to me he comes off as a whiny jerk. Would it have hurt that guy to post anything of substance? Honestly, he's kind of a tool. I poke through these posts and I see a refusal to be open and the smatterings of started self discovery projects.
Anyways I digress and am no longer really sure what the point I was trying to make with this was.
I think I come back here because my weird Sprng time down swings (and this early fall one, I refuse to conform to your calendar damnit!) are sparked by rembering what I thought my adulthood would be (maybe? It might be that the downswing brings some of that to fore. Oh well, chicken, egg.). I'm pretty sure many of those notions were pie in the sky, but that's unimportant. I'm also really happy with how my life actually turned out, so these swings always feel really self indulgent and kind of stupid really.
Anyway, I know there was more I wanted to say, but I can't remember where this thought train was going and I should really get to bed, its my third night like this in a row and I'm already sleep deprived. I'm not even sure anyone will read this. Well, I know future me will read this. Hopefully it will help him reframe the posts that follow.
I guess I'll sign off with this. Anyone want to open a tourist trap roadside attraction with me? I was thinking along the lines of the worlds largest pipe oragan. We can put an artictic hedge mze behind it. Maybe make some armor for dinosaurs.