POV: My cat
I am Kaspar. I am more often called "Little Moo" and "Kittyface," such that my ears perk up at the phoneme "moo" but not the word "Kaspar." I am the cat of this apartment. The apartment is mine. This cardboard box is mine. The edge of this chair is mine. This thing with a hard plastic corner is also mine.
Look, it's the girl of this apartment. First I will rub my face on her to establish that she is mine. Then I will stare at her with dilated pupils for 17 minutes without pause.
It is time to sit in the window. I greatly admire the wheels of that car OMG BIRD OMG CAR OMG STROLLER FULL OF CHILDREN. I tire of this. It is time to lick my behind.
I am licking my behind.
I am finished licking my behind, as well as several areas on my abdomen, which now smell like fishcakes. It is time to stick my face in a pile of kibble for 4 minutes. Now I must lick the sides of my mouth constantly for 10 minutes or I will NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN OMG.
I must poo. Digging holes is fun. Digging digging digging digging digging digging.
I will meander over here. Just kidding, I will meander here instead.
The leaves of this potted palm are so deliciously green and savory and tasty and I gingerly bite AAUGH FINE I WON'T EAT THEM PLEASE STOP WITH THE SPRITZING I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK I PROMISE
What if I just stretch out vertically by sinking my claws into this delicious sheer plane of upholstery AAAUUUGH STOP SPRITZING WRATH TERROR
It is time to transform myself into a blob under the chair for 49 minutes.
Now it is time to sprawl on the bed and enter a coma, at which time my belly may be rubbed without consequences.
Look, it's the girl of this apartment. First I will rub my face on her to establish that she is mine. Then I will stare at her with dilated pupils for 17 minutes without pause.
It is time to sit in the window. I greatly admire the wheels of that car OMG BIRD OMG CAR OMG STROLLER FULL OF CHILDREN. I tire of this. It is time to lick my behind.
I am licking my behind.
I am finished licking my behind, as well as several areas on my abdomen, which now smell like fishcakes. It is time to stick my face in a pile of kibble for 4 minutes. Now I must lick the sides of my mouth constantly for 10 minutes or I will NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN OMG.
I must poo. Digging holes is fun. Digging digging digging digging digging digging.
I will meander over here. Just kidding, I will meander here instead.
The leaves of this potted palm are so deliciously green and savory and tasty and I gingerly bite AAUGH FINE I WON'T EAT THEM PLEASE STOP WITH THE SPRITZING I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK I PROMISE
What if I just stretch out vertically by sinking my claws into this delicious sheer plane of upholstery AAAUUUGH STOP SPRITZING WRATH TERROR
It is time to transform myself into a blob under the chair for 49 minutes.
Now it is time to sprawl on the bed and enter a coma, at which time my belly may be rubbed without consequences.