Well they’re gonna tell you that everything is just dirt.
Since I've been back I'm just going through the motions of all the things I have to do. I feel separated from myself, just pensively watching myself do the chores of daily life. I think that's why I'm able to do it though.. I'm not feeling it. I've been doing fine at work and everything despite feeling like ass. I'm just not emotionally there. I've even done all my laundry and returned all my phone calls.
My chest hurts though. I know this will pass, but since it's stopped being the norm for daily life I dread being in it that much more. I forget how bad it is.
Just got to keep myself occupied and do the right things and pretty soon I'll be super. Or.. not, but I'll live. Would I survive an Outward Bounds trip?
Oh, funny story.. this evening I was running late (as usual) between the Humane Society and work. So I was speeding, and I come up behind a cop before realizing it. So I slow down immediately and he tailgates me for a second before pulling up next to me at a red light. He rolls down his window and yells at me. I apologize. I proceed to work. I'm not there ten minutes when a police officer comes in and I tell him I got yelled at on the way in. He laughs at me and tells me I'm lucky I didn't get a ticket. I agree. Then the police officer who yelled at me comes in. He goes "Oh! Now I get why you were going so fast!" and I say "Yep. I was going to be late for work." and he apologizes for yelling at me! He says "Sorry! I wouldn't have yelled at you if I knew who you were!" and I crack up because he was in the right. I was speeding. He had every right to yell at me. I said "No problem, I was speeding. I'm just glad you didn't give me a ticket!" And I told him "Just for that, I won't charge you for your frappucino." He reminded me I don't charge him anyway. I said "I know, but now it's just for that." And all his cop buddies laughed and teased him for yelling at the poor litte Starbucks girl. It amused me.
My chest hurts though. I know this will pass, but since it's stopped being the norm for daily life I dread being in it that much more. I forget how bad it is.
Just got to keep myself occupied and do the right things and pretty soon I'll be super. Or.. not, but I'll live. Would I survive an Outward Bounds trip?
Oh, funny story.. this evening I was running late (as usual) between the Humane Society and work. So I was speeding, and I come up behind a cop before realizing it. So I slow down immediately and he tailgates me for a second before pulling up next to me at a red light. He rolls down his window and yells at me. I apologize. I proceed to work. I'm not there ten minutes when a police officer comes in and I tell him I got yelled at on the way in. He laughs at me and tells me I'm lucky I didn't get a ticket. I agree. Then the police officer who yelled at me comes in. He goes "Oh! Now I get why you were going so fast!" and I say "Yep. I was going to be late for work." and he apologizes for yelling at me! He says "Sorry! I wouldn't have yelled at you if I knew who you were!" and I crack up because he was in the right. I was speeding. He had every right to yell at me. I said "No problem, I was speeding. I'm just glad you didn't give me a ticket!" And I told him "Just for that, I won't charge you for your frappucino." He reminded me I don't charge him anyway. I said "I know, but now it's just for that." And all his cop buddies laughed and teased him for yelling at the poor litte Starbucks girl. It amused me.