Crack pairing ficlets.
Last night I decided to clean out my computer and I found these drabbles/ficlets I wrote a couple of months ago. The pairings are all pure crack and I'm pretty sure I just randomly chose names at random to see if I could pull them off.
Soulless. [Angel the Series/Gossip Girl] (Angelus/Bart Bass) - R |Slash|
They both had something in common. They'd both lost their souls a long time ago, if only in different ways. Angelus had lost his with a sharp bite and the bitter taste of blood pouring down his throat while Bart had lost his the moment the doctor told him they were sorry, but there was nothing they could do.
Funny how a woman caused them both to lose their souls, not that Bart thought too much about that. It was difficult to think when you were fucking someone who would have no qualms with killing you in your sleep.
Sometimes Bart wished Angelus would just get it over with and kill him already.
And sometimes Angelus wished he could kill him, but fucking Bart was as close as he could get to fucking the devil, and that really appealed to him. It was poetic and all that. Besides, he had all the time in the world to kill him when he grew bored, but then again, it'd been a long time since he had an obsession who had no problem playing his games.
What was with people with "B" names that made his games that much more fun?
Home. [Gossip Girl/Glee] (Blair Waldorf/Brittany) - R |Fem-Slash|
At first Blair thought the blonde girl would make a perfect minion. She was dumb, easily pliable, and really good at sending pictures into Gossip Girl. Okay. Maybe she wasn't subtle about sending in the pictures, but honestly when it came to Gossip Girl, who was? But Blair quickly learned that although dumb, Brittany had an incredible short attention span, which made her crappy at carrying out her evil plans. However, Blair quickly found a use for Brittany.
With her blonde hair and infectious laugh, she could pretend (if only for a moment) that she was someone else. And for those brief moments in time, when Brittany's tongue slipped inside her, she felt like she was home.
Choices. [Gossip Girl] (Celia "CeCe" Rhodes/Chuck Bass) - PG-13 |Incest|
Now, Chuck was all for keeping it in the family. After all, he’d propositioned Serena on numerous occasions. The family that played together stayed together. But this wasn’t exactly how he pictured it. Still, who was he to complain? CeCe may have been an older woman, but she’d kept herself in pretty good shape (at least on the outside). He could live with his drunken decision. Besides, he’d made far worse choices over the years.
Diamonds. [Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Twilight] (Drusilla/Edward Cullen) - PG
Oh! It wasn’t fair at all! All those shiny fairy lights and she didn’t even get to touch them. Oh, if she was careful enough and angled herself just right towards the window, she could catch a glimpse of the way his skin shimmered in the sunlight. The little diamonds shot rainbows everywhere and Drusilla thought it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever saw in her life.
They were even more beautiful to her than the stars were. The only part she didn’t like was that she couldn’t be outside to touch them. Catching a diamond with her teeth sounded like so much fun!
But she would settle for what she could get. Like marble skin that bruised her in all the right places, and if she was lucky, she could still taste the sun on his skin.
Still, she decided that if she ever died, it would be catching the diamonds as they fell off his skin.
Terrified. [Glee/Gossip Girl] (Finn Hudson/Georgina Sparks) - PG-13
Finn had no idea what he was getting himself into when he agreed to go on a date with her. She’d reminded him of a mixture of Quinn and Rachel, which was nice. Except she really couldn’t sing, which was disappointing, but Finn could deal with that. She was like, really, really, really pretty which made up for a lot of things in Finn’s mind. The only problem was that he was pretty sure she was evil. Like, not Darth Vader evil, but definitely girly evil. He was pretty sure she was eviler than Coach Sylvester, and Finn didn’t even know that was possible.
But, did he mention that she was really, really, really pretty? And she totally let him go all the way! He didn’t even have to ask permission to touch her boob the first time! Well… Actually, he was pretty sure she grabbed his junk first. So it was totally cool that he went for second base. It totally made up for the evil, but he wasn’t sure if it made up for the crazy.
Rachel had been scary get-really-close-to-your-face-and-stalk-you-for-days crazy, but Georgina totally topped that. She didn’t just stalk him. No. She, like, showed up wherever he was all the time, and got really mad when he even looked at another girl, let alone talk to her. And then she would ask him about things that happened during his day like she hadn’t been there the whole time. And if he did anything wrong, she went all crazy and screamed at him before trying to eat his face. The girl didn’t kiss; she tried to suck your soul out through your mouth.
Frankly, she terrified him, but he wouldn’t break up with her.
Did he mention that she terrified him?
Plays. [Glee/Gossip Girl] (Kurt Hummel/Lily (Bass) Humphrey) - PG
Cougars were more Puck’s thing, but when Kurt got an invitation to attend a Lily Bass party, he jumped at the opportunity. Hello? Have you seen her hair? It was amazing! He just had to know what kind of conditioner the woman used. And hello! Her step-daughter Jenny? Her new line was to die for. And maybe if he was lucky, he’d even get a chance to talk to her son, Chuck. Because damn that boy was fine. And if flirting was all it took to get invited to the gala of the season, well then, Kurt had no problem taking a couple of plays out of Puck’s book. Because when it came to fashion, Kurt would do dirty, slutty things without shame.
Soulless. [Angel the Series/Gossip Girl] (Angelus/Bart Bass) - R |Slash|
They both had something in common. They'd both lost their souls a long time ago, if only in different ways. Angelus had lost his with a sharp bite and the bitter taste of blood pouring down his throat while Bart had lost his the moment the doctor told him they were sorry, but there was nothing they could do.
Funny how a woman caused them both to lose their souls, not that Bart thought too much about that. It was difficult to think when you were fucking someone who would have no qualms with killing you in your sleep.
Sometimes Bart wished Angelus would just get it over with and kill him already.
And sometimes Angelus wished he could kill him, but fucking Bart was as close as he could get to fucking the devil, and that really appealed to him. It was poetic and all that. Besides, he had all the time in the world to kill him when he grew bored, but then again, it'd been a long time since he had an obsession who had no problem playing his games.
What was with people with "B" names that made his games that much more fun?
Home. [Gossip Girl/Glee] (Blair Waldorf/Brittany) - R |Fem-Slash|
At first Blair thought the blonde girl would make a perfect minion. She was dumb, easily pliable, and really good at sending pictures into Gossip Girl. Okay. Maybe she wasn't subtle about sending in the pictures, but honestly when it came to Gossip Girl, who was? But Blair quickly learned that although dumb, Brittany had an incredible short attention span, which made her crappy at carrying out her evil plans. However, Blair quickly found a use for Brittany.
With her blonde hair and infectious laugh, she could pretend (if only for a moment) that she was someone else. And for those brief moments in time, when Brittany's tongue slipped inside her, she felt like she was home.
Choices. [Gossip Girl] (Celia "CeCe" Rhodes/Chuck Bass) - PG-13 |Incest|
Now, Chuck was all for keeping it in the family. After all, he’d propositioned Serena on numerous occasions. The family that played together stayed together. But this wasn’t exactly how he pictured it. Still, who was he to complain? CeCe may have been an older woman, but she’d kept herself in pretty good shape (at least on the outside). He could live with his drunken decision. Besides, he’d made far worse choices over the years.
Diamonds. [Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Twilight] (Drusilla/Edward Cullen) - PG
Oh! It wasn’t fair at all! All those shiny fairy lights and she didn’t even get to touch them. Oh, if she was careful enough and angled herself just right towards the window, she could catch a glimpse of the way his skin shimmered in the sunlight. The little diamonds shot rainbows everywhere and Drusilla thought it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever saw in her life.
They were even more beautiful to her than the stars were. The only part she didn’t like was that she couldn’t be outside to touch them. Catching a diamond with her teeth sounded like so much fun!
But she would settle for what she could get. Like marble skin that bruised her in all the right places, and if she was lucky, she could still taste the sun on his skin.
Still, she decided that if she ever died, it would be catching the diamonds as they fell off his skin.
Terrified. [Glee/Gossip Girl] (Finn Hudson/Georgina Sparks) - PG-13
Finn had no idea what he was getting himself into when he agreed to go on a date with her. She’d reminded him of a mixture of Quinn and Rachel, which was nice. Except she really couldn’t sing, which was disappointing, but Finn could deal with that. She was like, really, really, really pretty which made up for a lot of things in Finn’s mind. The only problem was that he was pretty sure she was evil. Like, not Darth Vader evil, but definitely girly evil. He was pretty sure she was eviler than Coach Sylvester, and Finn didn’t even know that was possible.
But, did he mention that she was really, really, really pretty? And she totally let him go all the way! He didn’t even have to ask permission to touch her boob the first time! Well… Actually, he was pretty sure she grabbed his junk first. So it was totally cool that he went for second base. It totally made up for the evil, but he wasn’t sure if it made up for the crazy.
Rachel had been scary get-really-close-to-your-face-and-stalk-you-for-days crazy, but Georgina totally topped that. She didn’t just stalk him. No. She, like, showed up wherever he was all the time, and got really mad when he even looked at another girl, let alone talk to her. And then she would ask him about things that happened during his day like she hadn’t been there the whole time. And if he did anything wrong, she went all crazy and screamed at him before trying to eat his face. The girl didn’t kiss; she tried to suck your soul out through your mouth.
Frankly, she terrified him, but he wouldn’t break up with her.
Did he mention that she terrified him?
Plays. [Glee/Gossip Girl] (Kurt Hummel/Lily (Bass) Humphrey) - PG
Cougars were more Puck’s thing, but when Kurt got an invitation to attend a Lily Bass party, he jumped at the opportunity. Hello? Have you seen her hair? It was amazing! He just had to know what kind of conditioner the woman used. And hello! Her step-daughter Jenny? Her new line was to die for. And maybe if he was lucky, he’d even get a chance to talk to her son, Chuck. Because damn that boy was fine. And if flirting was all it took to get invited to the gala of the season, well then, Kurt had no problem taking a couple of plays out of Puck’s book. Because when it came to fashion, Kurt would do dirty, slutty things without shame.