Gossip Girl: Unsettling [1/1]

Oct 21, 2009 15:42

Title: Unsettling [1/1]
Author: Diamondinsanity (lj) / Karmawiccan (ff)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Eric/Vanessa
Warnings: None
Summary: Someone once asked him why he was settling. He doesn't see it like that. He thinks that for once in their lives, they're unsettling.
Author’s Note: I have no idea where this came from. I really don’t. Has another E/V story ever even been written???



When he looks back at it now, it makes perfect sense. They’re a good fit for one reason: they’re the rejects; the ones left behind. They were never meant to live in the cut throat world of the Upper East Side. It’s too much for them to handle most of the time. They’re the ones who see the truths in everyone else’s lies. He knows they’re the only sane people, which make them useless to everyone else. Who wants to be honest when you can manipulate everyone to get the same results? He tends to like his methods much better.

Sometimes he just watches her with an intensity he knows his brother would be proud of. It makes no sense to him that someone as perfect as Vanessa can be so lonely all the time. She’s the kind of girl who saves bars, trees, trust fund kids, teenage billionaire playboys and whatever else needs saving that week. Nothing is out of her grasp.

She moves through life with a shine that reminds him of his sister, and an ease he knows Blair is jealous of. Dishonesty is her only flaw. Eric likes to think that she’s the most honest person he knows, and he knows her honesty gets her far, but he’s seen her when she tries to act like Blair. He’s seen what happens to her on those occasions she feels the need to lie, and he always feels this need to be the one to help her clean up the mess around her.

He watches the carrousel of people who move in and out of her life. Dan constantly drops her for his latest out-of-his-league conquest, leaving her alone with no one to help her survive in this world. Nate’s attention span is so short that Eric is always amazed when they get back together. He doesn’t know why she puts herself through it when he’s always gone again in a couple of months.
Jenny doesn’t give her the time of day any more, too busy with her minions and ruling the high school to care about anyone else. Serena tries to spend time with her when she can, but being a publicist’s assistant is more work than his sister anticipated. Scott doesn’t even return her phone calls any more.

Sometimes he thinks she’s friends with Blair, but as soon as Blair thinks that Vanessa’s getting too close to Chuck, she cuts Vanessa out of her life and drags Chuck along with her. Everyone just tends to abandon her in the end.

He understands it better than anyone else would. Growing up, he’d already dealt with a flaky mother, an irresponsible sister, and a stream of father-figures that never lasted for very long. Now he doesn’t even have that structured of a life. Who is he now but a guy with a series of cheating boyfriends and four siblings who barely give him the time of day? He doesn’t even attempt to try for any of his mother’s attention any more.

They’re the ones left behind. He knows it makes for a perfect fit. Everyone else leaves them behind, so at least they have each other. He used to think it was a strange arrangement, and now he couldn’t imagine not having her in his life.

She shows him Indie films that he doesn’t understand the meaning of, and he translates them from French so she can. He takes her to the opera and to parties, and tells her it’s preparation for when she’s a big time director. Most nights he falls asleep with her wrapped up in his arms, and for once in his life he’s grateful that his mother doesn’t notice him.

He tries to tell himself that it doesn’t bother him when he sees her hanging around Tripp’s campaign office or one of the hotels he knows that Chuck owns. He knows she’s a moralistic version of Blair Waldorf and that is why the two of them never could get along for very long. It never surprised him they had the exact same tastes in men. He’s fairly certain that he saw the similarities between the two of them before anyone else did, but no one tends to pay attention to the things he says and he’s okay with that sometimes.

Eric tries to tell himself that it doesn’t bother him, but deep down he knows it does. Even though he knows that in the end she’ll run back to him. She always does. When everyone else walks out, all they have is each other. There’s no one else for her to run to.

Someone asked him once why he was settling. He doesn’t look at it as settling; he never has. Every time she settles down next to him on the couch and tries to explain some movie he’ll never understand, all he can see is how perfectly she fits next to him. It’s a perfect fit. He likes this relationship better than all the other ones in his life. There’s no wealth or expectations involved here; just taking care of each other. There’s no fear of abandonment when he’s with Vanessa. It’s nice.

He likes to explain to people that he’s not settling: he’s unsettling. He’s sick of the life he settled for before.

Sometimes he thinks about how much easier life would be if he could be straight, but he knows the last thing either of them need is another lover. Being soul mates is a much better deal.

gossip girl, eric/vanessa

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