The Start of a New Chapter?
Not sure if anyone still comes here but my lovely friend Bran mentioned it and it seems like a good thing for me to do now. I am going through a new transformation... It's odd, some that feels pleasant and some not so much. First off, I have hit the worst stagnant weight I've ever dealt with in my life. That's been pretty much for the last couple of years. Recently, however, I have started to have other odd things happening to me and my body... Massive mood swings between wanting to tear someone's head off and fighting back tears. I've had some weird, stubborn acne, insomnia and hot flashes. I started doing a bit of research and really think I might be entering perimenopause. Things are not right in my body right now and that much I know. I have an appointment with a place that specializes in bioidentical hormone replacement therapy and they will be testing me for food allergies, thyroid, hormones and a bunch of other stuff. I'm excited about it.
My other change feels somewhat abrupt and odd but it feels good. I feel like some chains are falling off of me of the spiritual persuasion. I still have little to no interest in any kind of organized religion. I do believe in an afterlife. I do not, however, think all the rules and restrictions that come with organized religion make any bit of difference in a person's ability to access the afterlife. I have been reading up on near-death experiences and that actually holds more weight for me than any book. I like reading personal accounts. Organized religion turns me off because I do not believe that humans are evolved enough to be able to handle large amounts of money and power without it corrupting them. I have felt some closed doors open inside of me. I am now willing to explore my spiritual side more and do some reading based on various spiritual "masters". I'm starting out with learning about Buddhism and already I am told there are various types, just like in paganism. I'm going to start out focusing on Tibetin Buddhism and Zen Buddhism. I have a facebook friend who suggested a good zen book for me to check out. She said that flavor of Buddhism is the least "legalistic" which I took to mean it has fewer rules and regs. I like that. Rules are made to give humans structure and I can understand that but I'm not a "fit into a brown box" kind of girl. I have wings... big ones. They need to be stretched out from time to time and boxes and wings don't go well together.
Updates from my last entry are that I no longer work in dialysis. I am doing home health and working with one patient which works out much better for me. Also I have been very focused on nutrition and clean eating, which focuses less on calories and fat and more on quality of ingredients. It has to be actual food and not chemicals that are science experiments made to resemble food. I am much more healthy and have not needed any prescription medication for a year and a half now. It's been quite freeing to feel sane without medication. Shaun and I are still together and happier than ever. I thought about going back to school to get a degree in nutrition and after educating myself a little too well, I decided I will not likely ever spend another dime on conventional schools that share information that is swayed by large corporations and politicians. Anything medically related is and you can never really trust what you're told because I've learned that many studies are funded by a corporation in order to favor them and people are paid off to make it look like an objective piece of info. It's really just a big piece of crap that I would paying thousands of dollars to eat. I will continue to educate myself but it will be from places that really have no benefit from outside interests. That means no degrees in it but that doesn't matter too much to me anymore. I am no longer interested in changing the world. I'm not one of those chosen people. I can affect a small radius around me but my focus is on inner peace, wisdom, love and health.
Currently I am probably the most jaded I have ever been about the world around me. I no longer believe the media, politicians or religions. They all manipulate us like we are a herd of cows with cash. I'm not really angry about it. I'm just mostly tired and feel hopeless about the fate of humans. I feel more positive about the fate of the Earth, however. Greed has taken over the people who have the most money and ability to make big changes and most people seem to be more and more uneducated and desensitized to destruction and suffering. I believe eventually the planet will become too hostile for human life, due to our own inability to be in balance with her, and most of us will die off. Then the Earth will be able to regain balance again. We shall see.
Soooo let's see, what else? Well as you can see, my hair is black now. I'm also taking some fun classes rather than college classes. I'm learning how to sew. Our cat Biscuit was not working out so we took her back to the pound and she was adopted out to another family. We got 2 more rescues named Tater and Riversong. Tater is a big time lover kitty and River is sweet and loves her pets and kisses but she's also wild and a little nuts. She is named well. I will also never try to bathe her again... not without protective gloves at least. LOL!
Mainly I'm going to try to get back into journaling because of my new transformation. I think I really want to be able to have a dialogue about that process and it's just too much for facebook, besides the fact that facebook is just a giant database of consumer information for corporations and anyone who thinks differently is deluding themselves.
My other change feels somewhat abrupt and odd but it feels good. I feel like some chains are falling off of me of the spiritual persuasion. I still have little to no interest in any kind of organized religion. I do believe in an afterlife. I do not, however, think all the rules and restrictions that come with organized religion make any bit of difference in a person's ability to access the afterlife. I have been reading up on near-death experiences and that actually holds more weight for me than any book. I like reading personal accounts. Organized religion turns me off because I do not believe that humans are evolved enough to be able to handle large amounts of money and power without it corrupting them. I have felt some closed doors open inside of me. I am now willing to explore my spiritual side more and do some reading based on various spiritual "masters". I'm starting out with learning about Buddhism and already I am told there are various types, just like in paganism. I'm going to start out focusing on Tibetin Buddhism and Zen Buddhism. I have a facebook friend who suggested a good zen book for me to check out. She said that flavor of Buddhism is the least "legalistic" which I took to mean it has fewer rules and regs. I like that. Rules are made to give humans structure and I can understand that but I'm not a "fit into a brown box" kind of girl. I have wings... big ones. They need to be stretched out from time to time and boxes and wings don't go well together.
Updates from my last entry are that I no longer work in dialysis. I am doing home health and working with one patient which works out much better for me. Also I have been very focused on nutrition and clean eating, which focuses less on calories and fat and more on quality of ingredients. It has to be actual food and not chemicals that are science experiments made to resemble food. I am much more healthy and have not needed any prescription medication for a year and a half now. It's been quite freeing to feel sane without medication. Shaun and I are still together and happier than ever. I thought about going back to school to get a degree in nutrition and after educating myself a little too well, I decided I will not likely ever spend another dime on conventional schools that share information that is swayed by large corporations and politicians. Anything medically related is and you can never really trust what you're told because I've learned that many studies are funded by a corporation in order to favor them and people are paid off to make it look like an objective piece of info. It's really just a big piece of crap that I would paying thousands of dollars to eat. I will continue to educate myself but it will be from places that really have no benefit from outside interests. That means no degrees in it but that doesn't matter too much to me anymore. I am no longer interested in changing the world. I'm not one of those chosen people. I can affect a small radius around me but my focus is on inner peace, wisdom, love and health.
Currently I am probably the most jaded I have ever been about the world around me. I no longer believe the media, politicians or religions. They all manipulate us like we are a herd of cows with cash. I'm not really angry about it. I'm just mostly tired and feel hopeless about the fate of humans. I feel more positive about the fate of the Earth, however. Greed has taken over the people who have the most money and ability to make big changes and most people seem to be more and more uneducated and desensitized to destruction and suffering. I believe eventually the planet will become too hostile for human life, due to our own inability to be in balance with her, and most of us will die off. Then the Earth will be able to regain balance again. We shall see.
Soooo let's see, what else? Well as you can see, my hair is black now. I'm also taking some fun classes rather than college classes. I'm learning how to sew. Our cat Biscuit was not working out so we took her back to the pound and she was adopted out to another family. We got 2 more rescues named Tater and Riversong. Tater is a big time lover kitty and River is sweet and loves her pets and kisses but she's also wild and a little nuts. She is named well. I will also never try to bathe her again... not without protective gloves at least. LOL!
Mainly I'm going to try to get back into journaling because of my new transformation. I think I really want to be able to have a dialogue about that process and it's just too much for facebook, besides the fact that facebook is just a giant database of consumer information for corporations and anyone who thinks differently is deluding themselves.