.::Someone told me, Love would all Save us...But how can that be? look what love gave us::.
This is gonna be a long entry. If you don't care about me a lot, you might not want to read it. I'm sorry if I have too much DRAMA in this entry, But I need to get my feelings out, I need to tell you what My heart is feeling. So no matter whos listening, here goes.
Alright, today I went to see Will. As you all know, for some time now we haven't been the same. Before he left for Kansas, he wrote me this extremely sweet thing and put it in his Journal. You can read it...thriller2002<-- go there. I figured everything would be alright, but he didn't call me, and he basically failed to talk to me. Turns out basically I just think he needed to get away from everything, and I completely understand that because he's going through a hard time right now..But also When he got home, I figured he'd be really excited to see me, and want to see me like the DAY he got back, but he Didn't and it really worried me. He said he was really tired from the bus ride home, and to let him get back to normal. When he said that It kind of made me think he wanted me to give him space, so I asked him if he did, and he said no, that he wanted to talk to me. Basically by this time last night I was hysterically crying. If you don't know about our relationship by now, we've been through so much MORE than a lot. We went from loving eachother to death, to telling eachother to die, to loving eachother, and it was pathetic. But we got through it all, got back together, and then we slowly started to fall apart again. =[ Today I saw Him, we went to the mall for about 45 minutes, and just talked, and he was acting really wierd, and I was suddenly starting to think that maybe we should just be friends. Maybe I should let him relax, and get ready for his future, and not have to worry about PATHETIC,IMMATURE,UGLY,STUPID, ME.
So I dumped him. I can't believe I did, but hes not open with me, and I really REALLY don't know what he wants, and if I can't fulfill his needs, I Don't wanna waste his time. I cried on the car ride home from his house, for about 20 minutes, then I fell asleep, and I had a dream about Will.. =[ to make things worse. I was laying on the beach and Will whispered in my ear that the stars were out. So we looked at them, together. Guys, I almost gave up, But I can't yet. I'm just gonna let him be, and hopefully, he still loves me. From his away message, he still does, but I really don't know. I did some stupid Shit, like I scratched my arms up so bad and i ripped hair out of my head. Physco huh?. I cried outside of his house , for like 10 minutes, and his MOM came out..omg.. I'm so..omg =[
W what I'm trying to say, is I'm gonna be strong this time. Like I've always said. If it's meant to be, It will be and I truly do believe that. I just need to give it time.Will, always remember, my heart is yours, no matter what. It always has been and it always will be. You're my shining star baby, my shining star. Don't ever forget what a special person you are. I'm Special person you are.
For now, I'm gonna go lay down, because my head really hurts. Riley called me to cheer me up, I'm glad she cares, It means a lot. <33.
No matter what guys, Don't feel bad for me. You have problems of your own, you don't have perfect lives either, but I thought since this is where you write about your life, I should vent. <3 u , and talk to you all later.
...Emotions taking me over :/
Look at the pictures we took today ::wahhh::
Alright, today I went to see Will. As you all know, for some time now we haven't been the same. Before he left for Kansas, he wrote me this extremely sweet thing and put it in his Journal. You can read it...thriller2002<-- go there. I figured everything would be alright, but he didn't call me, and he basically failed to talk to me. Turns out basically I just think he needed to get away from everything, and I completely understand that because he's going through a hard time right now..But also When he got home, I figured he'd be really excited to see me, and want to see me like the DAY he got back, but he Didn't and it really worried me. He said he was really tired from the bus ride home, and to let him get back to normal. When he said that It kind of made me think he wanted me to give him space, so I asked him if he did, and he said no, that he wanted to talk to me. Basically by this time last night I was hysterically crying. If you don't know about our relationship by now, we've been through so much MORE than a lot. We went from loving eachother to death, to telling eachother to die, to loving eachother, and it was pathetic. But we got through it all, got back together, and then we slowly started to fall apart again. =[ Today I saw Him, we went to the mall for about 45 minutes, and just talked, and he was acting really wierd, and I was suddenly starting to think that maybe we should just be friends. Maybe I should let him relax, and get ready for his future, and not have to worry about PATHETIC,IMMATURE,UGLY,STUPID, ME.
So I dumped him. I can't believe I did, but hes not open with me, and I really REALLY don't know what he wants, and if I can't fulfill his needs, I Don't wanna waste his time. I cried on the car ride home from his house, for about 20 minutes, then I fell asleep, and I had a dream about Will.. =[ to make things worse. I was laying on the beach and Will whispered in my ear that the stars were out. So we looked at them, together. Guys, I almost gave up, But I can't yet. I'm just gonna let him be, and hopefully, he still loves me. From his away message, he still does, but I really don't know. I did some stupid Shit, like I scratched my arms up so bad and i ripped hair out of my head. Physco huh?. I cried outside of his house , for like 10 minutes, and his MOM came out..omg.. I'm so..omg =[
W what I'm trying to say, is I'm gonna be strong this time. Like I've always said. If it's meant to be, It will be and I truly do believe that. I just need to give it time.Will, always remember, my heart is yours, no matter what. It always has been and it always will be. You're my shining star baby, my shining star. Don't ever forget what a special person you are. I'm Special person you are.
For now, I'm gonna go lay down, because my head really hurts. Riley called me to cheer me up, I'm glad she cares, It means a lot. <33.
No matter what guys, Don't feel bad for me. You have problems of your own, you don't have perfect lives either, but I thought since this is where you write about your life, I should vent. <3 u , and talk to you all later.
...Emotions taking me over :/
Look at the pictures we took today ::wahhh::