.::Down In The Dumps::.
Sometimes I wish that I was one of those girls that didn't care. No offense, But one of those girls that can go from Boyfriend to Boyfriend, with no problem, and say they love them, and then go to the next and feel the same way.
I'm not like that. and I Neverwill be. I've always been one of those girls that searched for love, and when I finally thought I found it, it ruined my whole life. I read my friends posts. They talk about how their boyfriends are so good to them. They suprise them with things, buy them presents, cuddle them and tell them how beautiful they are..It's just so hard to think that maybe I'll never have that. I know I'm not anywhere near beautiful, I'm not exactly Barbie, I have so many imperfections, But if I love someone I'll do ANYTHING in my power to make them happy. In the past few days, maybe even week, I've lost about 5 friends. I've basically just blown them off, told them to forget our friendship, and everything. I'm a wreck, I always am. It probably seems to some people that my whole life is a depressed mess because I lack attention, but I don't NEED attention, I need people to love me.Sometimes I watch movies and see these girls that have such close friendships. They do everything with eachother, call eachother constantly,share the deepest of secrets..it's kind of pathetic, but I've never had that I've never found someone exactly like me, I've never been able to talk to someone FULLY about anything for a longer period than a week. My friends come and go, they don't stay. They don't care.
They just highered my pill millagrams. I'm up to 75 now...Because My depression is continuously getting progressively worse as time goes on. I REALLY don't know what to do anymore. I'm so desperate I think I'm gonna get someone from online to come to my house and fucking hug me. heh.
btw, I was thinking. Maybe sometime, all of us "lj girls" that are friends, could meet. Like, we're all close, so we could pick 10 girls, like they'd have to be chosen, and all of them could meet, somehow someway, at a certain place in the united states. Hmm, might be difficult, but Interesting?
hmm..Someone please leave me lots of comments =[ lots and lots and lots..
I'm not like that. and I Neverwill be. I've always been one of those girls that searched for love, and when I finally thought I found it, it ruined my whole life. I read my friends posts. They talk about how their boyfriends are so good to them. They suprise them with things, buy them presents, cuddle them and tell them how beautiful they are..It's just so hard to think that maybe I'll never have that. I know I'm not anywhere near beautiful, I'm not exactly Barbie, I have so many imperfections, But if I love someone I'll do ANYTHING in my power to make them happy. In the past few days, maybe even week, I've lost about 5 friends. I've basically just blown them off, told them to forget our friendship, and everything. I'm a wreck, I always am. It probably seems to some people that my whole life is a depressed mess because I lack attention, but I don't NEED attention, I need people to love me.Sometimes I watch movies and see these girls that have such close friendships. They do everything with eachother, call eachother constantly,share the deepest of secrets..it's kind of pathetic, but I've never had that I've never found someone exactly like me, I've never been able to talk to someone FULLY about anything for a longer period than a week. My friends come and go, they don't stay. They don't care.
They just highered my pill millagrams. I'm up to 75 now...Because My depression is continuously getting progressively worse as time goes on. I REALLY don't know what to do anymore. I'm so desperate I think I'm gonna get someone from online to come to my house and fucking hug me. heh.
btw, I was thinking. Maybe sometime, all of us "lj girls" that are friends, could meet. Like, we're all close, so we could pick 10 girls, like they'd have to be chosen, and all of them could meet, somehow someway, at a certain place in the united states. Hmm, might be difficult, but Interesting?
hmm..Someone please leave me lots of comments =[ lots and lots and lots..