Rule 34, a poem

[cosmic_celery]

The poem I wrote for class today:
____________________

Oh my god.
OH. MY. GOD.
My childhood is ruined
FOREVER.
I have just found
something so
horribibble, so
intrinsically wrong
that it brings a new
and terrible realism
to rule thirty-four.

(#34: "If it exists
there is porn of it.
No exceptions.")

The now ex-friend who
sent the link to the story
must have been half-mad,
high, or sleep deprived.
For who in their right mind
would actually search
for

TETRIS PORN?

I have seen horrible things
in my internets, read questionable
tales wherein the characters
in no way resemble their
original canon characteristics,
hurriedly clicked away from photos
of Snape and Harry dueling boners,
Doctor Who doing who knows what,
...and you probably don't want to know
about Jabba the Hut.

But THIS. This abomination
is beyond comprehension.
Who WROTE this?
What drove them to write about
anthropomorphized L-shaped
Tetris blocks in bondage gear?

I don't think that Joseph Conrad
had Tetris porn in mind
when he wrote:
"The horror! The horror!"
but damn, that's how I feel.

________

The fanfic that inspired this is HERE, if you feel like traumatizing yourself.