I hate the uncertainty and pressure that is coming with being close to finishing school and feeling like I need to find a job. I literally hate it
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I don't know...I'm doubting myself a lot lately. I'm not a self doubter typically. I try not to be arrogant, but I feel I'm someone who is pretty certain of their own capabilities/self worth, and I find myself doubting on a consistent basis that I'm going to be able to pursue a career in law and break into this job.
& that's stupid, because I've barely even started trying. I find myself applying for things, and thinking it's pointless and never going to amount to anything. It feels hopeless and like I might as well not try, but the fact is, if I DON'T try then I'm guaranteed an outcome. If I do, well, it's bound to pay off eventually right?
& in my head, I know all this, and I can rationalize it and tell myself that, but the doubt just keeps creeping back in. I want to think of myself as capable of this. I AM capable of this, but I'm having issues overcoming my mental hurdles, and it perpetuates a cycle because I get mad at myself for buying into my own insecurities. It's not productive, and it doesn't get me anywhere.
Hard word, perseverance and effort will get me where I want to go. Telling myself I won't get there helps absolutely no one.
Since you are normally certain about your own capabilities and selfworth then whatever is causing you to doubt yourself now is most likely coming from an outside source. Set the future aside for the moment and think, what else is going on in your life at the moment that is causing you to feel doubt and uncertainty? Could it be school, social, or family related?
Find that source and stopping the doubt it is instilling in you should be a top priority.
As I see it, you know what you're doing and you already know how to overcome it. I keep rereading what you wrote and Andrea, you KNOW how to overcome this. It's all right there. I think there is a lack of positive things going on around you at the moment and that is making it harder for you to overcome these hurdles.
One thing you should do, is stop getting mad at yourself over this. Cause that right there is only making it harder and you know that. Break that cycle now before it really takes root and gets worse.
When you feel yourself getting to the point where you are getting mad at yourself, stop, think, and take control. Accept that it has/is happened and that those doubts are there, aknowledge that they are unfounded, and resolve yourself to do better overcoming them.
Yes but, I can't overlook the fact that this is the first time in my life that I will be almost certainly finished with school, and without much more of a plan. I truly believe that that is, at the very least, the prominent source of where my anxiety and issues are stemming from. Before this 'the future' was a concept that would occur once I finished my undergraduate, or, once I got into and completed law school. It's unavoidable that come July I will officially be finished and those background certainties are done and finished. I need to come up with alternative game plans (as we all do) and I currently don't have anything set up.
So that is what I'm trying to focus on. What do I do now essentially. Where will I go, how will I accomplish what I want (and support myself in the process) and so on. Where does my path go to next?
& unfortunately, that's all really up in the air. I know I need to just keep pushing at the periphery of this legal circle, and just keep trying, but it doesn't make it less worrying and frustrating.
You're right though, getting angry at myself does nothing. & I am fully aware of what is necessary and likely required of me, I'm just getting bogged down in it at all. & certainly a little bit out of control in many aspects. So, I've just got to try and focus on what I can do, and what I can control and let go of the issues that are entirely out of my hands.
Well there's your first step already done, you know what you need. You need a plan.
Okay, instead of looking at the larger picture, break it down in to small steps. What do you need most once you are done with school? A place to live? Find a place to live, do that and that's one more thing out of the way. If you can set that up now I'm sure it will likely clarify the next part of your plan.
Just break it all down into what is most needed once you finish school, a single item at a time. I know you can do this and you know you can do this. You may have the occasional doubt, but I never doubt you.
& that's stupid, because I've barely even started trying. I find myself applying for things, and thinking it's pointless and never going to amount to anything. It feels hopeless and like I might as well not try, but the fact is, if I DON'T try then I'm guaranteed an outcome. If I do, well, it's bound to pay off eventually right?
& in my head, I know all this, and I can rationalize it and tell myself that, but the doubt just keeps creeping back in. I want to think of myself as capable of this. I AM capable of this, but I'm having issues overcoming my mental hurdles, and it perpetuates a cycle because I get mad at myself for buying into my own insecurities. It's not productive, and it doesn't get me anywhere.
Hard word, perseverance and effort will get me where I want to go. Telling myself I won't get there helps absolutely no one.
Reply
Find that source and stopping the doubt it is instilling in you should be a top priority.
As I see it, you know what you're doing and you already know how to overcome it. I keep rereading what you wrote and Andrea, you KNOW how to overcome this. It's all right there. I think there is a lack of positive things going on around you at the moment and that is making it harder for you to overcome these hurdles.
One thing you should do, is stop getting mad at yourself over this. Cause that right there is only making it harder and you know that. Break that cycle now before it really takes root and gets worse.
When you feel yourself getting to the point where you are getting mad at yourself, stop, think, and take control. Accept that it has/is happened and that those doubts are there, aknowledge that they are unfounded, and resolve yourself to do better overcoming them.
Reply
So that is what I'm trying to focus on. What do I do now essentially. Where will I go, how will I accomplish what I want (and support myself in the process) and so on. Where does my path go to next?
& unfortunately, that's all really up in the air. I know I need to just keep pushing at the periphery of this legal circle, and just keep trying, but it doesn't make it less worrying and frustrating.
You're right though, getting angry at myself does nothing. & I am fully aware of what is necessary and likely required of me, I'm just getting bogged down in it at all. & certainly a little bit out of control in many aspects. So, I've just got to try and focus on what I can do, and what I can control and let go of the issues that are entirely out of my hands.
Reply
Okay, instead of looking at the larger picture, break it down in to small steps. What do you need most once you are done with school? A place to live? Find a place to live, do that and that's one more thing out of the way. If you can set that up now I'm sure it will likely clarify the next part of your plan.
Just break it all down into what is most needed once you finish school, a single item at a time. I know you can do this and you know you can do this. You may have the occasional doubt, but I never doubt you.
Reply
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