The end of Love
Wow it have been like 6 months before my engagement day and the day I moved in with my ex-fiance. Yes right now he has become a ex-fiance. During April and may a lot have happen. During those days I got to feel that something happened with the ex and that he began hiding something from me. Like getting himself a password on his computer all of a sudden and that he was sms someone or someone sms him back. When I asked him he will say it is only his mother that always does that. So of course I believe him and didn't think more about it. But when I confronted him of it and if he is cheating on me he said he didn't but he couldn't say WHAT he was hiding about. So days pass by and he started to not like being around me or got angry for some small reason. And it escalated to more fights and soon that one night he hit me very hard. So I got a bruise in my right arm. After that it just went downhill. I started to get scared of him for I didn't want to get hit or he could through something at me. He got a lot more sleepy and angry when he got a NEW medicine. And he then soon decided that I shall sleep in my own bed that was on the other room. So soon sleeping together never happened. I wanted hugs and kisses and he started to not want to give any. Also we always massage each other that too was now not necessary. So slowly we ended up not having anything with each other only when he wanted me to come join him for a little while. So one day on April I got the chance to have the talk to him and asked if he didn't see any future together. And I got to know that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that he hated me so much so he almost dreamed of having another girl as a girlfriend. And of course on that moment I felt that that day was the end of us. And we were going to move apart and I also at that day got to know that I will begin my trainee and will get help with my money problem. So I was so sad and didn't know what to do. I guess he felt pity on me and we somehow got back together for only a week. Till he became weird again and angry and these time he through a teabag at me and that was it that he crossed the line and made me SO ANGRY and MAD that I laid on top of him while crying and asking him what was his problem. And he fight back and said that I WAS HIS PROBLEM. He couldn't be with me cause I was SOOOOO STUPID. And he couldn't be with someone who was stupid and couldn't do anything right and he also said that he couldn't speak to. Hearing all those hurtful words that I was like his psycho mom of his and that I was NOT WELL and clear in the head and that HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH a person who is not CLEAR in the head. Also that day I think I was a bit relief that I have the courage to talk and fight back at him.
I was also afraid because before that day at night I had a dream of me hitting him so he died in my dreams and of course it made me I don't know really scared of my self and scared of him that he fight back if I fight back too. He doesn't have any feeling or thoughts of that he is hitting his own girlfriend or fiance. He just do it when he is angry.
So another fight came again and this was the last one I think. cause it ended with he wanted to talk to my mom so he could say that I shall go home cause I being crazy.
I in the other hand didn't want to go home. Cause I know it will be the end of us. And I still wanted us to talk things out and try to communicate with each other and maybe solve our problem before we could talk with my parents. But it didn't go that way he got more angry and pushed me into a wall and I cried out and thought these isn't working at all.
And called my mom and it ended the way I didn't wanted it to end. He got what he wanted. He wanted me out of his apartment and that I shall go home to my parents house.
So now I am at my parents house. For me our relationship ended when in the heat of our fight he trough his engagement ring on to the floor. And that next day I saw him inactivate his Facebook profile. So our status of being engage was gone. So now I guess he is just a roommate that I will have if I don't get to find a new place to stay.
I am forced to find a new apartment for my self. Cause I will begin with a trainee program at the ams department.
And help by them I might get to gain some money and maybe start a new life as a single trainee girl.
I still love my ex. He knows that and also he has said before we had sex that he wanted to be with me but he couldn't. There is no future for us. And I didn't want to be with someone who gets angry and hit people. And he didn't want a stupid girl that need his help all the time and can't do anything right. So we will live and go separate ways.
I am looking for a apartment now and are hoping to find a place there it's nice and calm and awesome to live on. Still it sad that my dream of living with him on that apartment of his didn't worked out as I wanted to. I was hoping that we was meant to be together. But I think I was more in love with him than he was in love with me. So now is over and I am single again. my relationship with him lasted just in 2 years and a half. I met him on year 2011 and we got engage on year 2012 and it ended 2013 may. I was grateful for having the chance to get a ring on my finger and get to live with someone you love. But it didn't last long like 5 months in that apartment. But I love that apartment a lot cause it had a big space and the neighborhood was quite and nice. You also could just walk to the food market. And I was happy with him when he was on his good moods. I asked myself if there was a chance that he would say that he wanted a future with me. Then I know deep down in myself that the answer to it would be. Never there is no future of us together. I will always remember his bad side. And he will always hate my ways. So right now all I can think of is. All I can do is for now is to find a better guy that will love me for the way I am and know the REAL MEANING of understanding and patience. And that being clueless is better to have bad thoughts and suspect everything of being bad.
I was also afraid because before that day at night I had a dream of me hitting him so he died in my dreams and of course it made me I don't know really scared of my self and scared of him that he fight back if I fight back too. He doesn't have any feeling or thoughts of that he is hitting his own girlfriend or fiance. He just do it when he is angry.
So another fight came again and this was the last one I think. cause it ended with he wanted to talk to my mom so he could say that I shall go home cause I being crazy.
I in the other hand didn't want to go home. Cause I know it will be the end of us. And I still wanted us to talk things out and try to communicate with each other and maybe solve our problem before we could talk with my parents. But it didn't go that way he got more angry and pushed me into a wall and I cried out and thought these isn't working at all.
And called my mom and it ended the way I didn't wanted it to end. He got what he wanted. He wanted me out of his apartment and that I shall go home to my parents house.
So now I am at my parents house. For me our relationship ended when in the heat of our fight he trough his engagement ring on to the floor. And that next day I saw him inactivate his Facebook profile. So our status of being engage was gone. So now I guess he is just a roommate that I will have if I don't get to find a new place to stay.
I am forced to find a new apartment for my self. Cause I will begin with a trainee program at the ams department.
And help by them I might get to gain some money and maybe start a new life as a single trainee girl.
I still love my ex. He knows that and also he has said before we had sex that he wanted to be with me but he couldn't. There is no future for us. And I didn't want to be with someone who gets angry and hit people. And he didn't want a stupid girl that need his help all the time and can't do anything right. So we will live and go separate ways.
I am looking for a apartment now and are hoping to find a place there it's nice and calm and awesome to live on. Still it sad that my dream of living with him on that apartment of his didn't worked out as I wanted to. I was hoping that we was meant to be together. But I think I was more in love with him than he was in love with me. So now is over and I am single again. my relationship with him lasted just in 2 years and a half. I met him on year 2011 and we got engage on year 2012 and it ended 2013 may. I was grateful for having the chance to get a ring on my finger and get to live with someone you love. But it didn't last long like 5 months in that apartment. But I love that apartment a lot cause it had a big space and the neighborhood was quite and nice. You also could just walk to the food market. And I was happy with him when he was on his good moods. I asked myself if there was a chance that he would say that he wanted a future with me. Then I know deep down in myself that the answer to it would be. Never there is no future of us together. I will always remember his bad side. And he will always hate my ways. So right now all I can think of is. All I can do is for now is to find a better guy that will love me for the way I am and know the REAL MEANING of understanding and patience. And that being clueless is better to have bad thoughts and suspect everything of being bad.