Geriatric Workout
I went to a rec center in a Utah suburb today. This was my playlist:
TOY DOLLS Nellie the Elephant
DANCE DISASTER MOVEMENT C’est La Vie
MISFITS Where Eagles Dare
DECENDANTS Clean Sheets
DEAD KENNEDYS California Uber Alles
DEAD MILKMEN Taking Retards to the Zoo
DEAD MILKMEN Taking Retards to the Zoo (yes, twice, it’s essential)
FEAR We Gotta Get Out of this Place.
While on the elliptical, I accidentally mouthed; “those sheets are dirty and so are you” to an octogenarian gentleman using the lateral pull down thingy. He reminded me of Jack Palance.
There was a lady on oxygen doing the leg press. Oppositely, there was a girl on the stair machine dancing like flashdance.
On top of the “glasses donation box”, there were old people glasses I wanted to steal real bad. Shit you’d pay $50 for on eBay for. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Then I saw the pool.
It was an indoor water oasis including an epic water slide. Not just the straight shot water slide, but the kind that goes trough tubes and twists in spirals like a water park. Geriatrics and waterslides, it was like being in Cocoon or if there were hot dogs, Kelly Bumps’ idea of heaven.
TOY DOLLS Nellie the Elephant
DANCE DISASTER MOVEMENT C’est La Vie
MISFITS Where Eagles Dare
DECENDANTS Clean Sheets
DEAD KENNEDYS California Uber Alles
DEAD MILKMEN Taking Retards to the Zoo
DEAD MILKMEN Taking Retards to the Zoo (yes, twice, it’s essential)
FEAR We Gotta Get Out of this Place.
While on the elliptical, I accidentally mouthed; “those sheets are dirty and so are you” to an octogenarian gentleman using the lateral pull down thingy. He reminded me of Jack Palance.
There was a lady on oxygen doing the leg press. Oppositely, there was a girl on the stair machine dancing like flashdance.
On top of the “glasses donation box”, there were old people glasses I wanted to steal real bad. Shit you’d pay $50 for on eBay for. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Then I saw the pool.
It was an indoor water oasis including an epic water slide. Not just the straight shot water slide, but the kind that goes trough tubes and twists in spirals like a water park. Geriatrics and waterslides, it was like being in Cocoon or if there were hot dogs, Kelly Bumps’ idea of heaven.