Boredom of a Different Color
Back in the day, I used to have about a dozen different hobbies that could stave off my boredom. Admittedly, I was living with my parents, out of high school, unemployed, and falling under a cloud of depression. Now that I'm in college (graduate in December with a general studies degree, moving on to a private school for...something yet to be determined), have a job that mostly pays the bills, a wonderful fiance, etc., I can't get myself to jump into those hobbies anymore. Why? Well, I've been thinking about it, and these are my theories:
Writing
I still have ideas that come out of the blue that actually interest me, but I can't write more than a few pages before leaving everything in the dust. Why? I have friends that write, am contacting fellow aspiring writers, and have looked into writing groups. These things should help me, but...they make things worse.
I'm terrified of failure. I hate to let my friends read what I've written out of fear that we will realize that I can't write with a damn and that I should give up forever. What if the praise I've received in the past from teachers and my peers is empty? What if no one wanted to hurt my feelings by telling me, however subtly, that maybe my talents lay elsewhere? What if I go into a writing group and have the revelation that I don't belong?
I'm still working on this one. Dave, my fiance, and my friends are all helping me gain self-esteem. I don't put myself down as much as I did before, and currently think that I am someone worth something.
Reading
I loved reading several different series and nothing could change my opinion about them. Now? Well, I stopped reading the different series out of a lack of interest. I've also...mostly stopped reading altogether. I don't know why, considering the many suggestions I've gotten from friends and family, but I haven't finished a single book in the past seven or so months. I have theories about both, however.
Reading a novel series doesn't interest me anymore because I don't like the idea of a story with no end. Almost every series is in first person, meaning that the main character will never be in such peril that there's a good chance of death. It's guaranteed that they'll live, as they're the ones telling the stories. Ever read a modern series in which the narrator dies and that's the end of the series? I haven't either. Plus, sometimes the characters evolve so much that the reason I read the series in the first place is no longer there (i.e., Anita Blake, and gradually, Sookie Stackhouse). Too much sex, little plot, and little resemblance to the original heroine is what killed my desire to read more by Laurell K. Hamilton. Charlaine Harris's Sookie is surrounded by a slowly growing number of men and is starting to resemble a *gasp* Mary Sue (although in one of the previous books, she seemed like she was going back to the roots of the story).
As for individual books, I think I simply haven't found anything engaging enough to keep my attention, so...I just keep looking.
Watching TV
Okay, I know that this seems like a small thing, but when you remove reading and writing, it becomes a big one. I have basic cable and used to adore watching favorite shows, but now the t.v. is just on for noise. Sometimes a show can catch my eye, but it's not long before I change channels or turn the t.v. off.
I don't really miss t.v. as much as I miss having something else to do. I won't bother trying to fix this one, since I don't seem to be suffering too much from it.
And those are the big three. :/
Writing
I still have ideas that come out of the blue that actually interest me, but I can't write more than a few pages before leaving everything in the dust. Why? I have friends that write, am contacting fellow aspiring writers, and have looked into writing groups. These things should help me, but...they make things worse.
I'm terrified of failure. I hate to let my friends read what I've written out of fear that we will realize that I can't write with a damn and that I should give up forever. What if the praise I've received in the past from teachers and my peers is empty? What if no one wanted to hurt my feelings by telling me, however subtly, that maybe my talents lay elsewhere? What if I go into a writing group and have the revelation that I don't belong?
I'm still working on this one. Dave, my fiance, and my friends are all helping me gain self-esteem. I don't put myself down as much as I did before, and currently think that I am someone worth something.
Reading
I loved reading several different series and nothing could change my opinion about them. Now? Well, I stopped reading the different series out of a lack of interest. I've also...mostly stopped reading altogether. I don't know why, considering the many suggestions I've gotten from friends and family, but I haven't finished a single book in the past seven or so months. I have theories about both, however.
Reading a novel series doesn't interest me anymore because I don't like the idea of a story with no end. Almost every series is in first person, meaning that the main character will never be in such peril that there's a good chance of death. It's guaranteed that they'll live, as they're the ones telling the stories. Ever read a modern series in which the narrator dies and that's the end of the series? I haven't either. Plus, sometimes the characters evolve so much that the reason I read the series in the first place is no longer there (i.e., Anita Blake, and gradually, Sookie Stackhouse). Too much sex, little plot, and little resemblance to the original heroine is what killed my desire to read more by Laurell K. Hamilton. Charlaine Harris's Sookie is surrounded by a slowly growing number of men and is starting to resemble a *gasp* Mary Sue (although in one of the previous books, she seemed like she was going back to the roots of the story).
As for individual books, I think I simply haven't found anything engaging enough to keep my attention, so...I just keep looking.
Watching TV
Okay, I know that this seems like a small thing, but when you remove reading and writing, it becomes a big one. I have basic cable and used to adore watching favorite shows, but now the t.v. is just on for noise. Sometimes a show can catch my eye, but it's not long before I change channels or turn the t.v. off.
I don't really miss t.v. as much as I miss having something else to do. I won't bother trying to fix this one, since I don't seem to be suffering too much from it.
And those are the big three. :/