Nano Excerpt
No new Nano work done last night. I slept instead. I know crazy.
Today though I offer an excerpt in the way of my novel's prologue. I think it is not shocking or amazing in any way but stll it is fairly long which is what I was looking for. If you see any problems lemme know..
Sebastian Cole was a golden child, he had that ideal combination that everyone in America wanted. He was both rich AND famous. As a child Sebastian had starred in a popular television show as the youngest, cutest, and cheekiest child in a popular American TV family. You know the one, with the geeky older sister, the teen idol older brother, the two loving yet goofy parents, and of course Sebastian and his adorable catch phrases. Unlike many child stars though Sebastian had managed to parlay his youthful fame into a teenaged career landing him roles and more importantly to Sebastian, money. With money came a large house in Hollywood, a large hot tub, and two very attractive young women.
The first of these women Brandi, was exactly seventeen today, and seemed just Sebastian’s type: Blonde, large breasted, and easy. The other girl Tegan, who was still three months shy of her seventeenth year. More reserved. Instead of a skimpy bikini bottom and no top which her friend Brandi wore in the tub, Tegan was dressed in a simple blue one piece. Instead of the ecstasy and champagne which Brandi had indulged in this evening, Tegan merely drank water, from her own bottle, which she kept a close watch on. Most notably though instead of coming to tonight’s ‘party’, which indeed was supposed to include more than the three of them, with the hopes of fucking a celebrity Tegan had come with the hopes of keeping her old friend Brandi from doing anything she’d regret later.
That was how Tegan St. James ended up in this hot tub, in this mansion in this swanky area of Hollywood on this evening less than one week before Christmas.
“Come on baby.” Sebastian implored Tegan. His predatory yet strangely familiar eyes making contact with her chest instead her face. “Join the party, have some champagne, or some ex. It’s all on me tonight.” He smiled a smile that said that wasn’t the only thing he wanted on him tonight.
“No thank you.” Tegan said politely. Her eyes were uncomfortable and desperate and never left the door out of this yard, and out of this very uncomfortable situation. Then suddenly she felt something other than discomfort. On this warm California winter night, in this overly heated hot tub, Tegan felt cold…very cold. “Do you guys feel that?” She asked her attention brought back to her host and her childhood friend who writhed against one another in the other end of the large hot tub.
“I feel something.” Brandi replied with a lusty drunken giggle. “Something big.”
“You bet it is baby.” Sebastian said ignoring the less hot, less flirty girl entirely.
“I’m serious, don’t you guys feel that chill?” Tegan rubbed her goose bumped arms to try and regain some warmth. The temperature seemed to drop even further.
The voice that arose from behind Tegan was deep, rumbling, and thickly accented. It sounded Russian and very unfriendly.
“You children have sinned.” It spoke coming without warning. There had been no footsteps, no doors opening. Just the drop in temperature and the vague smell of pine needles. Tegan turned fear causing her heart to strain against her chest. The man stood directly behind her. Seven feet tall, long black flowing well below his shoulders melding into his long black beard. Both were thick and curly, looking luscious and yet not remotely inviting. His skin, what Tegan could see of it, shone starkly against his black hair, it was pale and rough, like the skin of a man who had seen many rough days in a rough life. He wore a dark green cloak which covered him from head to foot, and was trimmed in yellowed fur that had started as some white animal’s fur. He wore tall, shiny, black leather boots which ended just below his knees. This all was topped off by his hat, a dark green, fur lined, version of the Santa hat Sebastian was wearing atop his blonde head. But this hat was not cheery and festive; it was lank and limp, like a dark tentacle reaching down from the strangers head to rest on his broad shoulder.
“Who the fuck are you?” Sebastian shouted beginning to rise from the tub; his movements were hampered by both his own drunkenness, and that of his date for the evening. “You got about ten seconds to get out of my yard before the police show up and Rodney King your ass.”
“I am the spirit of retribution.” The man spoke slowly and calmly. “I am the spirit of punishment. “I know who is naughty and who is not. You have been judged and your time has come.”
Tegan had heard enough, she threw herself out of the hot tub, scrapping a few layers of skin off her knee in the process. What she saw next caused her to become immobilized again.
Sebastian finally managed to free himself and stood, though short he was powerfully built and had years of being the top dog making him brave. He opened his mouth to tell this interloper to leave one more time. He did not get a chance to speak though, instead the tall man reached a hand down and softly touched Sebastian’s forehead. As soon as the tall man’s pale hand made contact with Sebastian’s skin the cocky blonde actor stopped moving. He breathed one last breath, which was expelled in a puff a cloudy air, and froze in place.
Brandi looked both scared and confused, what was happening? Why wasn’t Sebastian moving?
“His sins.” The tall man spoke kneeling down before the pool of hot bubbling water. “Were many. Pride, overindulgence, fornication, and even violence against his fellow man.” At this Brandi shook her head; Tegan couldn’t tell if this was a refusal of what the tall man said, or due to her own fear. “Yes!” Said the tall man, his voice suddenly booming. “He often felt the need to fight other men, often leaving them beaten and broken. This is perhaps his greatest sin, though many of the lesser ones would have landed him on my list.” With this the tall man leaned down and placed one pale hand into the water. “The truth is though he is not why I am here. You were charged with a simple duty Brandi. One that many before you have had to endure, and many after you will have to. You were made to take care of your father. True one so young as you normally would not have such a burden placed on them, but you had help, your father’s doctors and nurses, even at home they visited him daily. But it wasn’t the days that concerned you, it was the nights. Yes you are young but your age does not lessen your crime.”
Tegan pressed herself backwards now, placing her back against the wall of the house. Brandi’s father had suffered a stroke about a year before. Since her mother had passed away when Brandi was just a baby it had fallen to her to care for the man. Tegan had known it was a strain on her friend, instead of her normal wild lifestyle and partying every night she’d been forced to stay in and feed, wash, and even change her father. In some ways it had seemed a blessing when the man passed away only a few months after the stroke. Brandi had taken a few days off to grieve privately, but then had celebrated her father the only way she knew how. By celebrating life. At least that is what Tegan had thought. Now the tall man told her differently.
“No one thought a girl so young and innocent as you could possibly have committed so heinous a crime. In fact the authorities barely looked into it; a poor sick man finally succumbed. We know the truth though, don’t we Brandi?” To this Brandi couldn’t respond. Confusion had been replaced by fear and all she could do was shake her head no. Not that what the tall man was saying was wrong, it seemed to Tegan, instead silently disagreeing with the idea that he could know the truth at all. “You placed a pillow over his face; you held it there until he moved no more. And why? To regain your freedom, to take bake your wasted youthful debauchery? It is your sin which has called to me this night. Your sin which has brought me to this land. Your sin for which you will now pay in full.” With that the tall man clenched his fist in a seeming fit of rage. As soon as he did the water stopped bubbling, heat stopped rising from the tub and it was filled with ice.
Brandi let out a short scream, more of a squeak really. She had cowered down in the water attempting to get as far from the tall man as the tub would allow, now the ice cut her off at chest level. Tegan could see her Brandi’s chest fighting to expand against the solid mass of the ice, could see her childhood friend struggling to breathe. And then the teen’s head slumped forward and she moved no more.
The tall man stood, wrenching his hand from the frozen waters with a loud crack, and looked down upon Tegan. He crouched so that he could look into her eyes and spoke. “Go home bow Miss St. James. For you are mostly clean. Go home and do no evil, lest I need to visit you some Christmastime.” With that the tall man was gone. Disappearing in a small swirl of cold air.
Tegan stood. Staring at her old friend, she was trying to stay calm, stay rational. Then with a crack the former child actor’s head snapped free of his frozen body and shattered on the concrete before him. Tegan St. James’ mind snapped then and she saw no more.
Today though I offer an excerpt in the way of my novel's prologue. I think it is not shocking or amazing in any way but stll it is fairly long which is what I was looking for. If you see any problems lemme know..
Sebastian Cole was a golden child, he had that ideal combination that everyone in America wanted. He was both rich AND famous. As a child Sebastian had starred in a popular television show as the youngest, cutest, and cheekiest child in a popular American TV family. You know the one, with the geeky older sister, the teen idol older brother, the two loving yet goofy parents, and of course Sebastian and his adorable catch phrases. Unlike many child stars though Sebastian had managed to parlay his youthful fame into a teenaged career landing him roles and more importantly to Sebastian, money. With money came a large house in Hollywood, a large hot tub, and two very attractive young women.
The first of these women Brandi, was exactly seventeen today, and seemed just Sebastian’s type: Blonde, large breasted, and easy. The other girl Tegan, who was still three months shy of her seventeenth year. More reserved. Instead of a skimpy bikini bottom and no top which her friend Brandi wore in the tub, Tegan was dressed in a simple blue one piece. Instead of the ecstasy and champagne which Brandi had indulged in this evening, Tegan merely drank water, from her own bottle, which she kept a close watch on. Most notably though instead of coming to tonight’s ‘party’, which indeed was supposed to include more than the three of them, with the hopes of fucking a celebrity Tegan had come with the hopes of keeping her old friend Brandi from doing anything she’d regret later.
That was how Tegan St. James ended up in this hot tub, in this mansion in this swanky area of Hollywood on this evening less than one week before Christmas.
“Come on baby.” Sebastian implored Tegan. His predatory yet strangely familiar eyes making contact with her chest instead her face. “Join the party, have some champagne, or some ex. It’s all on me tonight.” He smiled a smile that said that wasn’t the only thing he wanted on him tonight.
“No thank you.” Tegan said politely. Her eyes were uncomfortable and desperate and never left the door out of this yard, and out of this very uncomfortable situation. Then suddenly she felt something other than discomfort. On this warm California winter night, in this overly heated hot tub, Tegan felt cold…very cold. “Do you guys feel that?” She asked her attention brought back to her host and her childhood friend who writhed against one another in the other end of the large hot tub.
“I feel something.” Brandi replied with a lusty drunken giggle. “Something big.”
“You bet it is baby.” Sebastian said ignoring the less hot, less flirty girl entirely.
“I’m serious, don’t you guys feel that chill?” Tegan rubbed her goose bumped arms to try and regain some warmth. The temperature seemed to drop even further.
The voice that arose from behind Tegan was deep, rumbling, and thickly accented. It sounded Russian and very unfriendly.
“You children have sinned.” It spoke coming without warning. There had been no footsteps, no doors opening. Just the drop in temperature and the vague smell of pine needles. Tegan turned fear causing her heart to strain against her chest. The man stood directly behind her. Seven feet tall, long black flowing well below his shoulders melding into his long black beard. Both were thick and curly, looking luscious and yet not remotely inviting. His skin, what Tegan could see of it, shone starkly against his black hair, it was pale and rough, like the skin of a man who had seen many rough days in a rough life. He wore a dark green cloak which covered him from head to foot, and was trimmed in yellowed fur that had started as some white animal’s fur. He wore tall, shiny, black leather boots which ended just below his knees. This all was topped off by his hat, a dark green, fur lined, version of the Santa hat Sebastian was wearing atop his blonde head. But this hat was not cheery and festive; it was lank and limp, like a dark tentacle reaching down from the strangers head to rest on his broad shoulder.
“Who the fuck are you?” Sebastian shouted beginning to rise from the tub; his movements were hampered by both his own drunkenness, and that of his date for the evening. “You got about ten seconds to get out of my yard before the police show up and Rodney King your ass.”
“I am the spirit of retribution.” The man spoke slowly and calmly. “I am the spirit of punishment. “I know who is naughty and who is not. You have been judged and your time has come.”
Tegan had heard enough, she threw herself out of the hot tub, scrapping a few layers of skin off her knee in the process. What she saw next caused her to become immobilized again.
Sebastian finally managed to free himself and stood, though short he was powerfully built and had years of being the top dog making him brave. He opened his mouth to tell this interloper to leave one more time. He did not get a chance to speak though, instead the tall man reached a hand down and softly touched Sebastian’s forehead. As soon as the tall man’s pale hand made contact with Sebastian’s skin the cocky blonde actor stopped moving. He breathed one last breath, which was expelled in a puff a cloudy air, and froze in place.
Brandi looked both scared and confused, what was happening? Why wasn’t Sebastian moving?
“His sins.” The tall man spoke kneeling down before the pool of hot bubbling water. “Were many. Pride, overindulgence, fornication, and even violence against his fellow man.” At this Brandi shook her head; Tegan couldn’t tell if this was a refusal of what the tall man said, or due to her own fear. “Yes!” Said the tall man, his voice suddenly booming. “He often felt the need to fight other men, often leaving them beaten and broken. This is perhaps his greatest sin, though many of the lesser ones would have landed him on my list.” With this the tall man leaned down and placed one pale hand into the water. “The truth is though he is not why I am here. You were charged with a simple duty Brandi. One that many before you have had to endure, and many after you will have to. You were made to take care of your father. True one so young as you normally would not have such a burden placed on them, but you had help, your father’s doctors and nurses, even at home they visited him daily. But it wasn’t the days that concerned you, it was the nights. Yes you are young but your age does not lessen your crime.”
Tegan pressed herself backwards now, placing her back against the wall of the house. Brandi’s father had suffered a stroke about a year before. Since her mother had passed away when Brandi was just a baby it had fallen to her to care for the man. Tegan had known it was a strain on her friend, instead of her normal wild lifestyle and partying every night she’d been forced to stay in and feed, wash, and even change her father. In some ways it had seemed a blessing when the man passed away only a few months after the stroke. Brandi had taken a few days off to grieve privately, but then had celebrated her father the only way she knew how. By celebrating life. At least that is what Tegan had thought. Now the tall man told her differently.
“No one thought a girl so young and innocent as you could possibly have committed so heinous a crime. In fact the authorities barely looked into it; a poor sick man finally succumbed. We know the truth though, don’t we Brandi?” To this Brandi couldn’t respond. Confusion had been replaced by fear and all she could do was shake her head no. Not that what the tall man was saying was wrong, it seemed to Tegan, instead silently disagreeing with the idea that he could know the truth at all. “You placed a pillow over his face; you held it there until he moved no more. And why? To regain your freedom, to take bake your wasted youthful debauchery? It is your sin which has called to me this night. Your sin which has brought me to this land. Your sin for which you will now pay in full.” With that the tall man clenched his fist in a seeming fit of rage. As soon as he did the water stopped bubbling, heat stopped rising from the tub and it was filled with ice.
Brandi let out a short scream, more of a squeak really. She had cowered down in the water attempting to get as far from the tall man as the tub would allow, now the ice cut her off at chest level. Tegan could see her Brandi’s chest fighting to expand against the solid mass of the ice, could see her childhood friend struggling to breathe. And then the teen’s head slumped forward and she moved no more.
The tall man stood, wrenching his hand from the frozen waters with a loud crack, and looked down upon Tegan. He crouched so that he could look into her eyes and spoke. “Go home bow Miss St. James. For you are mostly clean. Go home and do no evil, lest I need to visit you some Christmastime.” With that the tall man was gone. Disappearing in a small swirl of cold air.
Tegan stood. Staring at her old friend, she was trying to stay calm, stay rational. Then with a crack the former child actor’s head snapped free of his frozen body and shattered on the concrete before him. Tegan St. James’ mind snapped then and she saw no more.