Interview Meme

[corvidophiliac]

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions of a very personal nature.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them 5 questions.

Interview questions from bluttee; first question/answer ommitted from public view.

2. Have you ever done any drugs? Did you like being under the influence of any drugs?

That would depend on what you mean by drugs. Alcohol's a drug, and I do drink. Not often, but I tend to drink a lot when I do. I'm a genetic alcoholic. If I've been dry for a while, I can drink probably about as much as an average person before I get tipsy. If I've been drinking even on a semi-regular basis for a bit, a quart of vodka in a night is nothing. I don't like being drunk, so I avoid getting to that point. Usually alcohol just makes me more talkative, and kind-of sleepy. I do enjoy it, but I tend to avoid it.

I haven't got much else in my drug repetoire. Lots of prescription medications which have done nothing to me, or just made me sick to my stomach. There's some OTC allergy medication I take sometimes which knocks me out -- or if I'm taking it regularly over a day or two, it does get me high. Which is okay and relaxing but not super interesting. I'm supposed to be on Cipralex (aka Lexapro) as well, which helps keep me level and stops my paranoia and anxiety from getting out of control, and usually decreases nervous habits (rocking, picking at things, hair plucking, etc.) but doesn't particularly change my personality or how I am otherwise, other than that I'm not so scared and nervous of silly things like people I haven't seen in a while, or public places, or anything.

But as far as illegal DRUGS R BAD drugs, uhh not really. A lot of the friends I had in high school (fuck that, a lot of the friends I have now) did, I just had no interest in it, and by most reports, I make more sense to my friends when they're high, and we have better conversations. Most people in high school assumed I did drugs just by how I am, and I was frequently mistaken for being cooked out of my tree when I was perfectly sobre. Most people saw this (especially combined with the fact that my parents have told me, on several occassions, that they'd rather I smoke pot than drink alcohol) as a "Oh god, then why don't you do drugs", I guess in a it-would-be-all-the-more-crazier sense; however, it only ever brought me to the conclusion of Fuck That. I don't need drugs. I'm perfectly off my rocker without them.
* Memory: Two of my friends once accidentally hotboxed their apartment while I was there. I didn't really mind because really I love the smell of weed (oh god love it so much), but the result wasn't enjoyable. I just got really, really tired, and couldn't remember/pay attention to anything when I was awake.

tl;dr
Basically, no, but when I have they pretty much just make me sleepy.

3. What is something you are proud of yourself for? A trait in yourself you wish you saw in more people?

This is probably among the most difficult questions anyone could ask me.
Usually when I feel proud, it's for someone else's achievements. I'm more proud of my friends and the people I know for every good decision and personal victory they make/have than I ever am of myself.
When I feel proud of myself it's for doing little things, things that are normal for most people and should be normal for me, but just.. aren't, for whatever reason: going to bed at a regular/"normal" time and getting up between 7 and 10 in the morning, for several days in a row. Having energy and ambition to do something during the day and actually doing something. Being physically comfortable with myself while with the boyfriend. Going out with friends (this isn't even necessarily going out in public somewhere, just me leaving my house to go to theirs). Finishing a book. Doing the dishes. Going to a public place (walking downtown, going to a store) by myself or even with others and not having an anxiety attack.
Silly little things that are usually difficult for me, but are normal conduct for your average human.

I guess I realise that, aside from not being particularly physically or mentally stable at present, I'm not quite what's considered normal, in regards to how I think or my social interactions with others. Or at least, that's what people have indicated to me. I don't know exactly how it is that I'm not, but no one will ever explain. Which is incredibly rude, since they're the ones who've informed me in the first place.
In short: I'm really not sure. I've very rarely had any real interactions with.. average normal people. A bit in high school and college, I guess, but even then, extremely limited, as I associate with very few people, and the people I choose to associate with tend to be very far from average. I'm not meaning to suggest that there's anything inferior or superior about falling into one group or the other, just that it means that I have very little genuine idea about what sort of attitude and actions are and aren't considered social norm. I'll make guesses based on what people have told me:

I wish people would be more direct and forward about what they think and feel, especially within their friendships and romantic relationships.
Now, I don't mean lavishing love or being clingy or being whiny and sad all the time or anything like that, since that's really not being blunt or forward at all, it's just being emotional. What I mean is that I think it would do a lot of people a lot of good to let their logical mind get to know and understand their heart and emotions, and address them and express them in an honest way. Not bottling things up and moping about them, or getting angry and spiteful, or just trying to ignore an issue until it goes away. But actually recognising that there's a problem, taking the time to understand what the problem is and why it makes you feel like that, and having a discussion about it with the other person. It's not going to fucking well get sorted any other way, and it's just going to turn into a right mess and it'll be all your own goddamned fault (BUT that won't stop people from complaining further).

I also wish people wouldn't love selfishly, and sugar-coat things.
I support using tact when informing someone of something or discussing something with someone. It's often important, usually respectful, and not something I do well. But people have a tendency to do it completely wrong, and instead of using tact while addressing something, they're blatantly dishonest. Lying to someone may save their precious ego, but it's not going to help them in any way. It's also really fucking stupid if it's in a situation where they've asked you your opinion. A dishonest answer in any situation is more damaging than no answer at all.
I had a several paragraph ramble about the state of love, but. Basically. One person's love for another should never be based on that person's love for them, or vice versa. If it is, you can bet that they don't honestly love the person.

tl;dr
I'm not sure, because I'm pretty weird and have never really socialised with normal people.
Address your feelings logically, be blunt and straight-forward with people, don't be dishonest to save someone's ego, and selfish love isn't love at all and is also really juvenile.

4. Do you believe in god?

I don't believe in the JudeoChristian-Muslim god, if that's all this question is asking. I don't have any single particular defined belief and I think it's a bit silly to have one, but I guess a big part of "religious belief" is that you trust this being's existence despite lack of proof, as a sign of faith, but you know that sounds an awful lot like a cult based on lies and deceit and power and control to me. Anyway, uh. Yeah, no. I'm totally willing to accept the possibility that there is a higher power of some sort, sure. But in doing that I'm accepting any one or any combination of hundreds of thousands of different possibilities. However, of them, I will likely never believe Judaism, any form of Christianity, Islam, or ScienCultology. The latter is utterly ridiculous, and the former three are all far too well defined and distorted from the original truth to be true at all.

5. What is... your favorite candy? YES. THAT'S PERSONAL. VERY PERSONAL.

I don't really have a favourite candy. I'm not a huge fan of chocolate -- I only really like chocolate which is candy coated, or cream filled, or has crispy rice or coconut in it.
Candies though... Fuzzy Peaches, gummy worms, Chicken Bones, mints, any/all marshmallow sweets (including strawberry marshmallows and banana marshmallows), vanilla Charleston Chews, taffy (especially salt water taffy), and non-chocolate fudge.