(no subject)
Your new girlfriend also has a Sikh name and is also living over 2,000 miles away from our shared hometown. There is a particular satisfaction in this superficial similarity, I'd like to believe that it means that I was almost good enough. I am completely happy and fulfilled in my relationship, and I don't think we'd make a good couple, but I still feel a little shut down about you having a girlfriend. I think because even though I know that we wouldn't make a good couple, I still wanted you to want me (for the time we'd spend together, but mostly for what it would say about me: that YOU would like ME!), for us to do it anyway, and that I'd learn something. Or, I want more time around you. I learned a lot from you and it was so wonderful, I want more. I want for you to still call me, and to still have dinner with you or go out with you some times. Your energy is so healing for me, and I want to understand why, I want to know what you know, I'm not done learning from you. I want to tell you these things, and I also don't know if it's appropriate to. How do you tell someone that you love them as a reflection of God, that you think of them as your guru?