I Have Something to Say
I actually do have something to say. The problem lies in that I'm not sure anyone wants to or even deserves to hear it. I'm not going to say it here; it's not something I can really put into words anyway. It'd take more than words on a page to get it out.
But I will say that after almost 20 years, I've finally decided what I want to do with my life. I want to get into the film industry. Not as an actor or anything like that, I'm not worried about making millions of dollars. I simply want to write, direct, and/or help produce movies. And yes I could do that today, just go out and buy a camera and make a film. But, I want to be an educated filmmaker. I want to go to school.
Schooling leads to another problem. I simply can't afford tuition into colleges. I can't get a scholarship because I didn't do well in school. It's not because I'm not smart enough to do well, but that's another story. I can't get a loan. Even if I had perfect credit, which I definitely DO NOT, I wouldn't be able to get a student loan. I'm simply too young to have built up enough credit history. My family did save up a meager fund of $2003.64, but that won't take me far. I also have a $1000+ scholarship from one of the Golden State tests. Those combined won't get me past my first semester. But what about cosigners?
I'll tell you what about cosigners. I've asked every member of my family that I feel comfortable asking, and that has good enough credit to actually help me get a loan. Each and every one of them has refused to help me, despite always being on my back about going to school. And starting at a community college? I tried that. It's just not the right environment for me, especially since none in my area have classes that I'm really interested in.
So I guess that's all I can really say. For the first time in my life I'm ready to go to school and at such a disadvantage that I can't. I want to make something of my life because I've finally realized that the direction it was headed would lead to either my death or the complete ruining of the rest of my life. I'm ready to make a change and I want to say what I need to say. But I can't.
What do you think of that?
But I will say that after almost 20 years, I've finally decided what I want to do with my life. I want to get into the film industry. Not as an actor or anything like that, I'm not worried about making millions of dollars. I simply want to write, direct, and/or help produce movies. And yes I could do that today, just go out and buy a camera and make a film. But, I want to be an educated filmmaker. I want to go to school.
Schooling leads to another problem. I simply can't afford tuition into colleges. I can't get a scholarship because I didn't do well in school. It's not because I'm not smart enough to do well, but that's another story. I can't get a loan. Even if I had perfect credit, which I definitely DO NOT, I wouldn't be able to get a student loan. I'm simply too young to have built up enough credit history. My family did save up a meager fund of $2003.64, but that won't take me far. I also have a $1000+ scholarship from one of the Golden State tests. Those combined won't get me past my first semester. But what about cosigners?
I'll tell you what about cosigners. I've asked every member of my family that I feel comfortable asking, and that has good enough credit to actually help me get a loan. Each and every one of them has refused to help me, despite always being on my back about going to school. And starting at a community college? I tried that. It's just not the right environment for me, especially since none in my area have classes that I'm really interested in.
So I guess that's all I can really say. For the first time in my life I'm ready to go to school and at such a disadvantage that I can't. I want to make something of my life because I've finally realized that the direction it was headed would lead to either my death or the complete ruining of the rest of my life. I'm ready to make a change and I want to say what I need to say. But I can't.
What do you think of that?