Star Wars Christmas Special
Yeah, so everyone seems to be talking about the Star Wars Christmas special lately, and Snake's never seen it, so I tried to explain it to him... and he's just going to have to watch it because my explanations are just getting surreal. The best I can come up with is to say it's like someone wrote bad fanfiction of bad fanfiction. Like, they're in modern looking houses watching modern looking television... in Star Wars. And they keep introducing current celebrities. It defies logic. Even worse, they craft the whole thing to be as little like Star Wars as possible while still containing Star Wars characters. I mean, fuck, watching Chewbaca's badly costumed mom watch a cooking show by a monster making terrifying food on a modern TV is bewildering.
So I tried a different track. I tried to describe what it'd be like if the same was done to something Snake loves: Star Trek. It's like if Picard and Ohura, with no explanation, went to a modern Walmart where they met Dale Ernhardt, bought a grill, sang a Souljaboy song and then beamed up into someone lounge. And the fact that they beamed up anywhere, even though the where makes no sense, is the only reason you know they're supposed to be these actual characters instead of schizophrenics who believe they're these characters.
I remember first seeing it and how at first I was all excited to watch some awful crap no one had ever heard of back then, but pretty soon I just wanted it turned off. It combined boring, batshit insane and awkward in a way that made it unwatchable. Like, you can't enjoy the crazy because it's also super dull, but then it's all wrapped in an awkward plot that just makes you uncomfortable, so you can't just ignore it either. Of course, my friends refused to turn it off.
So I tried a different track. I tried to describe what it'd be like if the same was done to something Snake loves: Star Trek. It's like if Picard and Ohura, with no explanation, went to a modern Walmart where they met Dale Ernhardt, bought a grill, sang a Souljaboy song and then beamed up into someone lounge. And the fact that they beamed up anywhere, even though the where makes no sense, is the only reason you know they're supposed to be these actual characters instead of schizophrenics who believe they're these characters.
I remember first seeing it and how at first I was all excited to watch some awful crap no one had ever heard of back then, but pretty soon I just wanted it turned off. It combined boring, batshit insane and awkward in a way that made it unwatchable. Like, you can't enjoy the crazy because it's also super dull, but then it's all wrapped in an awkward plot that just makes you uncomfortable, so you can't just ignore it either. Of course, my friends refused to turn it off.