Diets
I'm continuing my diets. Both of them.
The first diet, obviously, is to lose some weight to get back down to a respectable dating weight. It's been working, too: I've lost somewhere around 30 pounds since the beginning of the month. By virtue of the many gastric surgeries I've had, losing weight is relatively easy for me, if I put forth a little bit of effort and discipline.
The second diet is much harder.
I've been trying very hard to have no contact with Butterfly. No calls, no texts. Sometimes I'll need to swing by her house to pick up some of my things, and I have to text her for that. But otherwise, I'm simply trying to leave her alone, since that's clearly what she wants from me, and it would'nt be terribly fair to pester her every day.
Yesterday, I finally managed one full day of no contact whatsoever. No calls, no texts. It was tough
It's very difficult going from having contact with my very best friend, partner, and what I considered my soulmate every single day down to absolutely nothing. I miss her with every part of me.
And that's what the diet is for. I must continue to try not to.
This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Every time my phone rings, every time I get a text alert, part of me is hoping beyond hope that it's Butterfly, wanting to initiate some kind of contact with me, so I can talk to her about something--anything.
The rest of me knows better. The rest of me knows that she won't. I know she has mentally put me in the same category as her other two ex-husbands. Simply another nuisance, another insufferable person she must simply tolerate.
The first diet, obviously, is to lose some weight to get back down to a respectable dating weight. It's been working, too: I've lost somewhere around 30 pounds since the beginning of the month. By virtue of the many gastric surgeries I've had, losing weight is relatively easy for me, if I put forth a little bit of effort and discipline.
The second diet is much harder.
I've been trying very hard to have no contact with Butterfly. No calls, no texts. Sometimes I'll need to swing by her house to pick up some of my things, and I have to text her for that. But otherwise, I'm simply trying to leave her alone, since that's clearly what she wants from me, and it would'nt be terribly fair to pester her every day.
Yesterday, I finally managed one full day of no contact whatsoever. No calls, no texts. It was tough
It's very difficult going from having contact with my very best friend, partner, and what I considered my soulmate every single day down to absolutely nothing. I miss her with every part of me.
And that's what the diet is for. I must continue to try not to.
This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Every time my phone rings, every time I get a text alert, part of me is hoping beyond hope that it's Butterfly, wanting to initiate some kind of contact with me, so I can talk to her about something--anything.
The rest of me knows better. The rest of me knows that she won't. I know she has mentally put me in the same category as her other two ex-husbands. Simply another nuisance, another insufferable person she must simply tolerate.