(no subject)
I'm a writer, a poet, it's just what I do. But I can't even find the words lately. I haven't written a poem in a month. Before that it had been much longer. I think I've just become empty or something. I'm extremely down on my body image lately. Worse than normal. I'm trying to fast. But it's like I don't have the same resolve I did when I was killing myself over it. ::sigh:: I'll make it happen though. I'm thinking of moving back to Las Vegas. I don't know where else to go. I'm just scared to death of falling back into the same traps I did last time. I've done something decent with myself since leaving there, am I strong enough to keep it up if I'm standing right in front of those demons? I have so many connections there, so many "friends." But I wonder if I'm trying to prove something to myself. Anyway, I've been jumping head first into an ugly depression lately. Nothing seems even remotely okay these days. It's no strange feeling to me though. I'll get out of it for a little while again sometime. But it never stays okay for long. Story of my life. I don't know.