Changes...yet again
Everything has changed as of late...and I do mean everything. Hell, even the infamous livejournal has changed.
But for once...it seems like it's going towards the better instead of for the worst...and not in that old sense of "I have a girlfriend", "I have a job", "I have money and friends", etc...but more to the tune of "I finally am starting to get it." Some people go through their entire lives without having any retrospect of their past, their lives, and whatnot...but furthermore there are some who are near ignorant to the ambience around them which we call the world...so...sadly...it is an unceasing, and everlasting boulevard of never coming to terms with happiness. The general euphoria which most find in liquor, drugs, or just impulsive behavior...I've found a simple jubilation in living. The hilarity of it is at one point I wanted to end my life...praying for someone to give me that euthanasia so that I would no longer suffer. Strange to think that I had had been given my quietus...my coup de grace...and yet I stood up.
And insist on standing up to the egotistical, preachy, and sanctimonious people with their smug looks across their pious faces and laugh...incessantly, might I add.
I owe it mostly to someone I've met as of late named Marie...curious I never mentioned her before...she's, without argue, one of the predominant and key people that have began to make me appreciate life so much more. She's been paramount in almost every instance of reminding me that I can be loved and cared for. She is absolutely peerless. No more teenagers and their immature dawdlings..frittering away all the important moments in life over senseless drama. The nonsense ceases when she is around. I know I've bragged about a few others in my time...but...I admit that I was picking from the bottom of the barrel back then...(lack of self-confidence will do that to you).
I've not been the best person to her...though I've tried my hardest to be sweet and sans pareil as a boyfriend, offering her first-class service...in bondage pants...an unshaven face...and sometimes a bitchy attitude. Anyway...I've made a very recent commitment to minimize the mentioning of predecessors and just...be more myself than some pretend suave idealistic romantic...(true I may be a sucker for romance but I won't slap it on like I do ketchup)...and get my act completely straightened out. She's worth it...
In other news, I've been on an interview for a local job lately...been finding a new car (or at least something that runs or wasn't made by the lowest bidder)...I've been quitting smoking, slowly but surely. And lastly, working on the film version of Half-Quake...which I am absolutely head over heels in love with doing as well. Sometimes I'm not too sure about the project...mostly cuz I'm not too sure about myself...but...anyway...now that some drama has been cleared...and if the original perpetrator gives me anymore reason to get angry...I'll boot them out...(prolly will anyway)....
I've written too much...I've stayed up late enough and left my love unattended...I MUST work on that as well...so easily distracted...*Sigh*...thank god it seems no one reads this journal or I just might be afraid of someone seeing how completely clumsy I've truly been and marked an "X" on it so large well....
Sincerely,
Rick
But for once...it seems like it's going towards the better instead of for the worst...and not in that old sense of "I have a girlfriend", "I have a job", "I have money and friends", etc...but more to the tune of "I finally am starting to get it." Some people go through their entire lives without having any retrospect of their past, their lives, and whatnot...but furthermore there are some who are near ignorant to the ambience around them which we call the world...so...sadly...it is an unceasing, and everlasting boulevard of never coming to terms with happiness. The general euphoria which most find in liquor, drugs, or just impulsive behavior...I've found a simple jubilation in living. The hilarity of it is at one point I wanted to end my life...praying for someone to give me that euthanasia so that I would no longer suffer. Strange to think that I had had been given my quietus...my coup de grace...and yet I stood up.
And insist on standing up to the egotistical, preachy, and sanctimonious people with their smug looks across their pious faces and laugh...incessantly, might I add.
I owe it mostly to someone I've met as of late named Marie...curious I never mentioned her before...she's, without argue, one of the predominant and key people that have began to make me appreciate life so much more. She's been paramount in almost every instance of reminding me that I can be loved and cared for. She is absolutely peerless. No more teenagers and their immature dawdlings..frittering away all the important moments in life over senseless drama. The nonsense ceases when she is around. I know I've bragged about a few others in my time...but...I admit that I was picking from the bottom of the barrel back then...(lack of self-confidence will do that to you).
I've not been the best person to her...though I've tried my hardest to be sweet and sans pareil as a boyfriend, offering her first-class service...in bondage pants...an unshaven face...and sometimes a bitchy attitude. Anyway...I've made a very recent commitment to minimize the mentioning of predecessors and just...be more myself than some pretend suave idealistic romantic...(true I may be a sucker for romance but I won't slap it on like I do ketchup)...and get my act completely straightened out. She's worth it...
In other news, I've been on an interview for a local job lately...been finding a new car (or at least something that runs or wasn't made by the lowest bidder)...I've been quitting smoking, slowly but surely. And lastly, working on the film version of Half-Quake...which I am absolutely head over heels in love with doing as well. Sometimes I'm not too sure about the project...mostly cuz I'm not too sure about myself...but...anyway...now that some drama has been cleared...and if the original perpetrator gives me anymore reason to get angry...I'll boot them out...(prolly will anyway)....
I've written too much...I've stayed up late enough and left my love unattended...I MUST work on that as well...so easily distracted...*Sigh*...thank god it seems no one reads this journal or I just might be afraid of someone seeing how completely clumsy I've truly been and marked an "X" on it so large well....
Sincerely,
Rick