Spanish phrasebooks don't include things that they should. Maybe someday I'll write a phrasebook. The first page would contain:
- I know the American political system is screwy.
- Not all Americans are like that.
- Not all guys are like that.
- I swear I don't have a cell phone. That ringing in my pants is something else.
- Hello. Good day. I'm looking for a leave-in conditioner.
- I'll have two number 7s and whatever you're holding there between your legs.
- I can haz cheezburger?
- The offer is sex for money, right?
- I don't know, that costs more than two liters of milk.
- There's the door.
All useful. Sometimes, all in the same night. Sometimes, in order. (Write me privately for details of my life this week.)