May 13th
So. So.
I...um...well, I slept with her. Why am I writing this down like it's awkward to write to myself? Because I'm so bloody unsure as to what it means. Exactly. Apart from the fact that after spending far too long on persuading her to just settle for illogic and follow what she feels for once, it's amazing and it's okay doing it again. Apart from that, what does that mean? Haha. Now look who's over thinking it.
Put it this way, it felt right, I'm not about to just forget about it like that. I just don't know why it felt right. I should take a leaf out of my own book and just shut up. I need to think, but I can't just force answers out of myself.
It's worth enduring these headaches for. It really is worth it. I was this close to giving up, and it took her nearly giving up to make me realise what the hell I was doing. Sometimes, I think she's the slap around the face I need, but she always does it for the right reasons. She does it because she cares and...I dunno, I could have done with people like her much earlier on in my life, I guess.
It's just there's always the question; is this going to make it better? It will, I think. That's the problem, thinking. I...I think I need a smoke and a nice sit down. Anyway, today's a good day to have thoughts racing through your head.
NEXT WEEK! Ladies and James (I kid, I kid), we will be doing huge huge timelines of the different periods we've been studying. As they're incredibly useful and I have been implored by a fourth year that it's the best way to sort it all out. As a historian, I naturally disagree for the sake of it and could write a 400 page thesis on why they're wrong. However, I happen to think this may be a good idea, so there will be oversized bits of parchment, straight lines drawn without a ruler (as historians don't do straight lines, and if you did, I'd be concerned), arrows flying everywhere and lots of scribbled notes squashed into a corner.
Oh, and no doubt you'll complain about my handwriting. When I'm clearly in the mood not to be complained to. I think you love to torture me.