Smooth Operator

[corporatecasual]

I think I would be a good car salesman. I don't go for the hard sell the way some of these slick characters do. I let the customer get comfortable, bring them into my confidence, and then I say one sentence. That's all it takes, one sentence and they'll sign anything I tell them to. I could sell water to a drowning man, which is not an easy thing to do because they are drowning and it would seem that water is the last thing they need, but I could! Bucketfuls! Have a seat. They sit. You like that car? They nod, but then indicate that it's a bit pricey for them. I'm sure we can work something out. They hesitate. There is hesitation in their eyes. I give them my pitch:

"Buy this car, or everyone will know that you are a faggot."

If they are a lady:

"Buy this car, and I promise you will be engaged to a Jewish doctor within six months."

I'm moving cars off the lot like a diarrhetic moving bowels.