i'm sorry, i'm just not ready.
I was watching TV yesterday and some random commercial reminded me of when Evan and I moved out of our apartment. I moved out about a month before he did, but I helped him move out. I have no idea why I bothered, but I did. Anyway, after everything was out of the apartment we stood in the empty kitchen sharing a beer. It was like a scene from a movie and feels totally surreal looking back on it.
Everything feels lame these days. I'm not sure if it has to do with winter or if it's because I'm just waiting until I can make something happen. Basically, it feels like Groundhog Day. There just really isn't enough to differentiate one day from another. It's a very strange feeling that I've never encountered before. I mean, of course every day is different, but maybe I'm used to every day being more different. This smaller degree of difference between every day is causing me to feel like one day just blends into the next but nothing ever happens. I guess that is what's happening, though.
Hunter wasn't on U.S. Airways flight 1549. I guess the point would have been moot anyway, since he's supposed to die in a plane crash this year and everyone lived; however, I didn't know everyone lived until after I contacted him to find he was safely at the office and had no idea what was going on.
I feel like I need to apologize to a few people. I'm just not ready to date or do anything that really resembles dating. I think there's a few guys out there that this has adversely effected. I mean, obviously it adversely effected Bill. When I think about it, we really had been hanging out quite regularly for a decent amount of time, yet it still felt very insignificant to me. Talking to him after the fact I realize that it was only myself that felt like things were insignificant, but there was no conversation to make me believe he felt differently. Also, my complete lack of ability to date has caused me to not realize when someone liked me. I've basically been walking around in a total daze. Someone could blatantly have a thing for me and I'd basically be clueless. The worst is when mutual friends joke about it and I just laugh along, thinking that the joke isn't based in reality at all. So, in the end, I'm sorry to anyone that I've seemingly led on or hurt. If I had realized what the situations actually were I would have behaved much differently.
Everything feels lame these days. I'm not sure if it has to do with winter or if it's because I'm just waiting until I can make something happen. Basically, it feels like Groundhog Day. There just really isn't enough to differentiate one day from another. It's a very strange feeling that I've never encountered before. I mean, of course every day is different, but maybe I'm used to every day being more different. This smaller degree of difference between every day is causing me to feel like one day just blends into the next but nothing ever happens. I guess that is what's happening, though.
Hunter wasn't on U.S. Airways flight 1549. I guess the point would have been moot anyway, since he's supposed to die in a plane crash this year and everyone lived; however, I didn't know everyone lived until after I contacted him to find he was safely at the office and had no idea what was going on.
I feel like I need to apologize to a few people. I'm just not ready to date or do anything that really resembles dating. I think there's a few guys out there that this has adversely effected. I mean, obviously it adversely effected Bill. When I think about it, we really had been hanging out quite regularly for a decent amount of time, yet it still felt very insignificant to me. Talking to him after the fact I realize that it was only myself that felt like things were insignificant, but there was no conversation to make me believe he felt differently. Also, my complete lack of ability to date has caused me to not realize when someone liked me. I've basically been walking around in a total daze. Someone could blatantly have a thing for me and I'd basically be clueless. The worst is when mutual friends joke about it and I just laugh along, thinking that the joke isn't based in reality at all. So, in the end, I'm sorry to anyone that I've seemingly led on or hurt. If I had realized what the situations actually were I would have behaved much differently.