it seems so like you (a separate peace, pg-13, brinker/finny)
it seems so like you | brinker/finny | pg-13 | 872 words
“but, listen up, i’m telling you about the side of gene you are either too dumb to see or too dumb to want to see.”
finny doesn’t see brinker as a threat, or an enemy, or any other synonym for the word that they have learned at devon. not the threat that brinker knows finny is. (his eyes deceive him and only paint a youthful scene of sport and endless sprays of the ocean, frothing at its mouth which stretches across all continents.)
he used to be, at the very least, but brinker knows never to let his guard down. fuck the rest of what his father says, it’s all worthless shit.
despite the awkward cast that looked almost doubled the size of finny’s original leg, all muscle and skin, brinker plays chess with devon. he might just be vain enough to place himself as king, maybe. for now, he just plays the pieces.
“hey, finny.” and finny, who is making his way across the campus, who is sweating at all the effort put out and swearing that it was so much easier before, stops.
“brinker.”
“need help, buddy?”
“i’m good. thanks, though.”
“suit yourself, but when you fall and gene and me aren’t there, well…”
“gene’s a friend.” he shifts his weight off to his other leg, like it should take an almost insane amount of energy just standing.
“well! i’m a bit hurt, phineas.”
“gene’s a friend.” finny repeats, emphasizing it is something brinker is not.
“is he? i never thought he was that good of a friend considering what he did to you.”
“and what’s that--?”
“oh, you know, but i guess it’s all speculation.”
“i’m sure you’d push me out of a tree if you had the chance, brinker. it seems so like you.” finny throws a smirk full of spite and contempt, bringing up the past was never a pretty picture, he’s found. because it always lets you find the things you missed the first time around. odd enough, brinker laughs too maybe because it’s true.
"so you're saying he did push you out of the tree."
"no, but i know that's what you're thinking. i'm not stupid." their discussion, as brinker would call it even though finny dodge every other word almost skillfully, continued as he walked with finny across the campus and stopped every hundred feet or so. there, finny caught his breath, all ragged and coming out in puffs of cold air that dried out the inside of his lungs and cracked the skin and slowed his brain.
“how long does it take you to get from one side of campus to the other, my god.”
“how long does it take you to get your head out of your ass?”
“play nice, finny, it’s supposed make you live longer.” brinker pauses. “no, that’s being happy.”
“either way.” by now, they have stopped at the side of one of the buildings. it is made up of red bricks that burst out from the white snow and ice that surround them and lay on devon like a coverlet. finny is resting up against the side of the building, and brinker, out of anger and slightly out of calculated maliciousness, takes finny’s crutches out from under him. “what the fuck?”
“you probably wouldn’t listen any other way.”
“this is why i don’t listen to you.” and like a child, he crosses his arms in defiance.
“oh, shut up.” brinker looks phineas straight in the eyes to show how much he means this, or at least how much it should mean to phineas. and closes in on him, almost to the point where finny can feel brinker’s breath on his neck and face. it’s no comfort at all considering that finny has already warmed up enough so that his blooding is pumping to a steady tempo. “i told you about gene and you obviously think he’s an amazing friend or whatever the hell you two have going on. but, listen up, i’m telling you about the side of gene you are either too dumb to see or too dumb to want to see.”
“you obviously don’t know anything--“
“like hell i know something, no one’s listening though even when i’m so right.” finny is silent for once. “i’m right.”
“no.”
“how would you know? you don’t know anything about the world outside your little bubble of planet phineas.” and with the hand that phineas isn’t using for balance, he takes a quick swing at brinker, grazing his chin.
“you still have fight? that was unexpected.”
“planet phineas my ass.”
“you and your world of finny and gene, to be more exact.”
“are you jealous?”
“jealous? you have to be kidding me.”
“never, why would i, phineas, ever kid around?”
“liar.” brinker leans in and pushes his lips against finny’s, all open-mouthed, and rough. “does gene do it like that, or all nice and sweet for you?” he demonstrates that too, an innocent little peck on finny’s forehead that is covered in the thinnest veil of sweat.
“goddamnit, what are you doing?”
finny promptly coughs up his esophagus and spits out his teeth and tongue. “i was never jealous, the truth is never jealous.” he says as he walks away, tossing finny’s crutches back to him in an act of kindness because the truth is always kind at the very end of it all.
“but, listen up, i’m telling you about the side of gene you are either too dumb to see or too dumb to want to see.”
finny doesn’t see brinker as a threat, or an enemy, or any other synonym for the word that they have learned at devon. not the threat that brinker knows finny is. (his eyes deceive him and only paint a youthful scene of sport and endless sprays of the ocean, frothing at its mouth which stretches across all continents.)
he used to be, at the very least, but brinker knows never to let his guard down. fuck the rest of what his father says, it’s all worthless shit.
despite the awkward cast that looked almost doubled the size of finny’s original leg, all muscle and skin, brinker plays chess with devon. he might just be vain enough to place himself as king, maybe. for now, he just plays the pieces.
“hey, finny.” and finny, who is making his way across the campus, who is sweating at all the effort put out and swearing that it was so much easier before, stops.
“brinker.”
“need help, buddy?”
“i’m good. thanks, though.”
“suit yourself, but when you fall and gene and me aren’t there, well…”
“gene’s a friend.” he shifts his weight off to his other leg, like it should take an almost insane amount of energy just standing.
“well! i’m a bit hurt, phineas.”
“gene’s a friend.” finny repeats, emphasizing it is something brinker is not.
“is he? i never thought he was that good of a friend considering what he did to you.”
“and what’s that--?”
“oh, you know, but i guess it’s all speculation.”
“i’m sure you’d push me out of a tree if you had the chance, brinker. it seems so like you.” finny throws a smirk full of spite and contempt, bringing up the past was never a pretty picture, he’s found. because it always lets you find the things you missed the first time around. odd enough, brinker laughs too maybe because it’s true.
"so you're saying he did push you out of the tree."
"no, but i know that's what you're thinking. i'm not stupid." their discussion, as brinker would call it even though finny dodge every other word almost skillfully, continued as he walked with finny across the campus and stopped every hundred feet or so. there, finny caught his breath, all ragged and coming out in puffs of cold air that dried out the inside of his lungs and cracked the skin and slowed his brain.
“how long does it take you to get from one side of campus to the other, my god.”
“how long does it take you to get your head out of your ass?”
“play nice, finny, it’s supposed make you live longer.” brinker pauses. “no, that’s being happy.”
“either way.” by now, they have stopped at the side of one of the buildings. it is made up of red bricks that burst out from the white snow and ice that surround them and lay on devon like a coverlet. finny is resting up against the side of the building, and brinker, out of anger and slightly out of calculated maliciousness, takes finny’s crutches out from under him. “what the fuck?”
“you probably wouldn’t listen any other way.”
“this is why i don’t listen to you.” and like a child, he crosses his arms in defiance.
“oh, shut up.” brinker looks phineas straight in the eyes to show how much he means this, or at least how much it should mean to phineas. and closes in on him, almost to the point where finny can feel brinker’s breath on his neck and face. it’s no comfort at all considering that finny has already warmed up enough so that his blooding is pumping to a steady tempo. “i told you about gene and you obviously think he’s an amazing friend or whatever the hell you two have going on. but, listen up, i’m telling you about the side of gene you are either too dumb to see or too dumb to want to see.”
“you obviously don’t know anything--“
“like hell i know something, no one’s listening though even when i’m so right.” finny is silent for once. “i’m right.”
“no.”
“how would you know? you don’t know anything about the world outside your little bubble of planet phineas.” and with the hand that phineas isn’t using for balance, he takes a quick swing at brinker, grazing his chin.
“you still have fight? that was unexpected.”
“planet phineas my ass.”
“you and your world of finny and gene, to be more exact.”
“are you jealous?”
“jealous? you have to be kidding me.”
“never, why would i, phineas, ever kid around?”
“liar.” brinker leans in and pushes his lips against finny’s, all open-mouthed, and rough. “does gene do it like that, or all nice and sweet for you?” he demonstrates that too, an innocent little peck on finny’s forehead that is covered in the thinnest veil of sweat.
“goddamnit, what are you doing?”
finny promptly coughs up his esophagus and spits out his teeth and tongue. “i was never jealous, the truth is never jealous.” he says as he walks away, tossing finny’s crutches back to him in an act of kindness because the truth is always kind at the very end of it all.