Dec 20, 2004 22:11
today basically sucked, and right now i'm feeling boiled anger and frustration.
school was gay. most of my classes just dragged on because there was nothing to do. we couldnt do anything since finals are for the next two days. and i hate finals, so i tried to study for 'em to take the edge off, but i would end up just getting frustrated and saying "screw this".
part way during my school day, i went to the dentist. i had to get a cavity filled. but, i hate my dentist. he was mean to me way back when i got my root canal, and i've never really forgiven him. i was polite, though, which i shouldn't have been. i hate him so much!
after the dentist, i had to go to work. i called in ahead of time today to tell my boss that i would be late showing up because of my dentist appointment. when i got there, i wasn't even on the scheule. so, in spite of her, i went on the clock and wandered from room to room as i pleased. amy pisses me off, too.
when i successfully blew my entire shift, ;), i went christmas shopping. where is it better to show someone you love them than k-mart? i went there b/c brent was working, and they have cheap stuff. i knocked everyone off my list except for matt and my gramma.
once home, i ate, and hopped online. then me and venus when for a half hour walk. we didn't get lost this time. the sidewalks are so slick, though! the rain from earlier today froze in a thin enough sheet to send me sliding down the hills, and scrambling up them. how embarrassing...
i'm still really frustrated right now. but now it's mainly at matt. i hate how he always seems too tired to talk to me at night. i understand theres a time difference, and that he's up for more hours a day than i am, but don't i give him any energy at all? doesn't he look forward to talking to me? i don't think we even talked for an hour tonight, where as over the weekend our calls would last for three or four hours. it makes me sad, because i look forward to talking to him so much, just to be let down like this. and i can't help but get mad sometimes, because he dozes off on the phone. i don't understand why he can't just tell me that he's tired, so we can hang up peaceably. i dunno, matt... if you read this, PLEASE listen. i'm not trying to be a bitch. i can't help it. i hate it. i hate him being so far away.