my love is like whoa

[cornflake_james]

I hate my parents. They haven't even been married for six months and already they're talking divorce. They banter back and forth about who gets custody of me and when Daddy will come for visits and frankly it makes me want to gallop off a cliff. Remember, my dear keepers, the cardinal rule of parenting - "Do not use the children as a weapon". *sob

Comments

[james_spader]

Where can I apply for a new one?

One per customer, unless you're Keith fucking Richards.

[cornflake_james]

But I'm a fucking horse. Surely the same rules trhat apply to cats apply to me. Nine fucking lives and all that. You were in Sixteen Candles. That automatically qualifies you for a hard...... ride.

[james_spader]

Keith could do more drugs than any ten horses combined. If you can swan dive from the 32nd floor of a skyscraper and escape with only a nose bleed I'd like to see that. And I wasn't in Sixteen Candles though I did so want the part of the drunken asian guy, Long Duk Dong, but Gedde Watanabe beat me to it. Three strikes. Surely that qualifies you for something.

[cornflake_james]

Jesus Horatio Christ, I'm a horse not Leonard fucking Maltin. AND A DRUNK HORSE FOR THAT MATTER! I always get you and that little bundle of talent Anthony Michael Hall mixed up. Surely you can understand. Pretty in Pink? You were in that right? Love that one. When they let me in a skyscraper, I'll try that jumping thing out and let you know, k?

[james_spader]

I understand. People make that mistake ALL the time. I vaguely recall Pretty in Pink, yes, but I'm trying not to so let's not go there. Send me a picture postcard from the edge.