(no subject)
I woke up yesterday, and there was a mini van parked in my driveway.And I thought, "Ah, I've been preparing/waiting for this all week."Then remembered it wouldn't be a mini van.
You never really know what someone is capable of, until that last second before it actually happens. After that phone call I truly expected him to show up here. Not sure what he would do or say...I decided I wanted to be ready if it did happen.
A friend of mine from college admitted to having a one night stand with a married woman. Her husband found out, and he was afraid he would come after him...so he took off for a weekend. Went to a friend's house. I said, "What happened when you got back a couple days later?" "He found me...bloodied me up a little, swore at me, and then left." So the safety of his friend's house wasn't much safety at all. And if you've ever seen "Dazed and Confused", you know running from an ass whipping doesn't do much good.
As I said, you never know what someone is capable of. Better to be prepared than be caught by surprise.
I decided he deserved at least one clean shot...however, I WAS going to ask that it wasn't my mouth. Laugh all you want, but my chops are a big part of my livliehood. The eyes, nose...ribs, stomach...all were fair game, I figured. I wouldn't fight back, but figured at some point I would have to at least defend myself.
What would I say to him? I'd already lied to him...he found that out as well. The truth?
I decided I'd ask him if he wanted a beer...*shakes head* Let him say what he needed, do what he needed. Then a beer or two. Talk. I would tell him it wasn't just a "one night stand." That it was more than that. I would go the cliche' route, and tell him how lucky he is and how special she is. I would tell him, ASK him, to not take her for granted, and cherish her the way she deserves to be cherished.
Apologize? When I talked to him on the phone, I said I was sorry... not for what I did, but what he was going through. I suppose that makes me even less a "good guy", but that really disappeared the night I kissed her, didn't it? Don't answer that...
Does he deserve an apology? I don't know. Quick, easy answer, yes. Longer and complicated answers abound. I can say this, I know this...it really wouldn't matter if I did say it or not.
You never know what someone is capable of until that second it happens. In the same way, you're not always sure what YOU are capable of until you're in that spot. I'm trying to be honest with myself, face up to things. Writing helps. I finally faced up to something, admitted something to myself and one other days before he even asked that I call him. I may write about that some day...for now, I keep it in my head...working, processing through other things.
It's storming. Standing on the back porch for a moment, watching it, FEELING it rain...seeing the sky light up, the air suddenly cooler, more comfortable. That smell of fresh that rain brings.
Rain has the power to wash away the old and bring new. We can either decry it, or jump in the middle and hope it washes us as well.
You never really know what someone is capable of, until that last second before it actually happens. After that phone call I truly expected him to show up here. Not sure what he would do or say...I decided I wanted to be ready if it did happen.
A friend of mine from college admitted to having a one night stand with a married woman. Her husband found out, and he was afraid he would come after him...so he took off for a weekend. Went to a friend's house. I said, "What happened when you got back a couple days later?" "He found me...bloodied me up a little, swore at me, and then left." So the safety of his friend's house wasn't much safety at all. And if you've ever seen "Dazed and Confused", you know running from an ass whipping doesn't do much good.
As I said, you never know what someone is capable of. Better to be prepared than be caught by surprise.
I decided he deserved at least one clean shot...however, I WAS going to ask that it wasn't my mouth. Laugh all you want, but my chops are a big part of my livliehood. The eyes, nose...ribs, stomach...all were fair game, I figured. I wouldn't fight back, but figured at some point I would have to at least defend myself.
What would I say to him? I'd already lied to him...he found that out as well. The truth?
I decided I'd ask him if he wanted a beer...*shakes head* Let him say what he needed, do what he needed. Then a beer or two. Talk. I would tell him it wasn't just a "one night stand." That it was more than that. I would go the cliche' route, and tell him how lucky he is and how special she is. I would tell him, ASK him, to not take her for granted, and cherish her the way she deserves to be cherished.
Apologize? When I talked to him on the phone, I said I was sorry... not for what I did, but what he was going through. I suppose that makes me even less a "good guy", but that really disappeared the night I kissed her, didn't it? Don't answer that...
Does he deserve an apology? I don't know. Quick, easy answer, yes. Longer and complicated answers abound. I can say this, I know this...it really wouldn't matter if I did say it or not.
You never know what someone is capable of until that second it happens. In the same way, you're not always sure what YOU are capable of until you're in that spot. I'm trying to be honest with myself, face up to things. Writing helps. I finally faced up to something, admitted something to myself and one other days before he even asked that I call him. I may write about that some day...for now, I keep it in my head...working, processing through other things.
It's storming. Standing on the back porch for a moment, watching it, FEELING it rain...seeing the sky light up, the air suddenly cooler, more comfortable. That smell of fresh that rain brings.
Rain has the power to wash away the old and bring new. We can either decry it, or jump in the middle and hope it washes us as well.