Time to Rebuild.
I have been questioning myself a lot lately. Despite being constantly told that I am smart, or that I am confident, or a leader, I feel insufficient and insignificant. I have been burdened with the blessing of expectation and hence been stuck with worrying about fulfilling them. My stress is manifesting itself in a silenced personal breakdown that
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I had someone tell me once, one of the few things they told me that ever made sense, is that you have to remember that in meaningful relationships, you can't forget that you're involved, too. If you spend your time always thinking about the other person, you sacrifice yourself. Then where do you draw the line of caring for someone else and caring for yourself?
For all you know, Taylor may be the one for you. But taking time for yourself may be just what you need to prove that -- to both yourself and to anyone else seeking that validation. Find yourself outside of the relationship, then if it comes along, bring your discovered self back into the mix.
You may not have the same relationship with Taylor as you did before, but that does not mean that you have alienated the one person you can talk to freely. You will always have that connection with her, and unless you let it break, it will be there when you need it. In the time being, you have friends that will be there for you. People that are not Taylor, nor could they ever be, but they will be there when you need them, be it on your 21st, or to just run out and grab some Chinese for dinner.
Trust in your friends. They care about you, and you don't need to feel like if you're hurting, you need to carry that hurt on your own.
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